Monday edition - June 26, 2006



Bush, impersonator banter at Washington gala
Brandon Sun,  Canada - 6-26-06
WASHINGTON (AP) - US President George W. Bush rocked his head in time with country music and bantered with a look-alike comedian during a benefit for Ford's ...


Panel: No need to change laws after Abramoff
MSNBC - Jun 22, 2006
WASHINGTON - Existing laws are sufficient to deal with the sort of massive fraud perpetrated by lobbyist Jack Abramoff and a former aide to then-House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, a Senate panel concluded Thursday.

Bush urging GOP candidates to focus on war
 Biloxi Sun Herald,  USA - 6-26-06
 President Bush's playbook for the November elections urges GOP House and Senate candidates to emphasize to voters that it's the war, stupid...

When does Bush work?


"President Bush says he gets up every morning at 5:30 a.m. and he makes a cup of coffee for his wife, Laura. Isn't that nice? And he has to tip-toe very softly because Cheney has a gun under his pillow" --David Letterman


The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

The government of Afghanistan has sent a letter to the news stations and journalists ordering them to report only favorable news about the government. That sounds harsh, but you have to remember, they don't have Fox News over there. -- Jay Leno

Disturbing News

White House Frequent Flyers

As Congress debates a crackdown on members' and their staffs' accepting travel paid for by outside interests, newly filed records show Capitol Hill lawmakers aren't Washington's only frequent fliers. According to filings with the Office of Government Ethics, White House staffers have accepted nearly $135,000 in free trips since November 2004. Among those picking up the tab: some of the president's top business supporters, including the National Association of Manufacturers, and dozens of conservative and religious groups, among them the Southern Baptist Convention, Focus on the Family and the Federalist Society.




With Republicans trailing in the polls, Congress will probably introduce laws this summer to stop gay flag-burning illegal immigrants from getting abortions.-- Zing!


Social Isolationists

 Americans are more socially isolated than they were 20 years ago, separated by work, commuting and the single life, researchers reported on Friday.

Nearly a quarter of people surveyed said they had "zero" close friends with whom to discuss personal matters. More than 50 percent named two or fewer confidants, most often immediate family members, the researchers said.

Republican Shenanigans


If not having a Voting Rights Act was good enough for our white grandfathers, it's good enough for us Republicans today.
-- Grant Gerver



Question: And who should be the next president?

Maher: Al Gore. And I'm not the biggest fan. If he would just do what he didn't do in 2000, that is, talk about what he really cares about, then I think he would be the right man for the job. I think the country is so off the track and that's now recognized by the vast majority of Americans. They probably, in the next election, will just take stock and say to themselves, "Last time we voted for the guy we wanted to have a beer with. That didn't work out so well."

Rock-The-Voter News


"Helen, will you stop heckling and let me conduct a press conference... Well no, I'm making an argument, and you're, you're pestering the teacher." --White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, to veteran reporter Helen Thomas



Yesterday, of course, was the longest day of the year. To give you an idea of how long the day was, the owner of the gas station near my house was able to change the prices twice. -- Jay Leno

Biz-Tech News


 Five Surgeons

Five surgeons are discussing the types of people they like to operate on.

The first surgeon says: "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds: "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

 The third surgeon says: "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong.
Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable.

Sent in by rickringo

Bush-Prison-Torture News


The Republican motto: "When the going gets tough, the tough get praying and/or taking millions from Abramoff" -  Grant Gerver




Go-F*ck-Yourself News

Meanwhile, Orbiting Around Earth...

The Russian cargo spaceship Progress will bring 2.5 tonnes of cargoes and gifts from relatives for the crewmembers of the International Space Station (ISS) on Monday evening. The cargo spaceship Progress M-57 that was launched at the Baikonur last Saturday will dock in the automatic regime to the ISS at 20.30 Moscow time, a source in the Moscow regional Flight Control Center told Itar-Tass.




“Police in Omaha, Nebraska, said they arrested a man after finding a bag of marijuana hidden underneath a roll of fat in his stomach. He had it hidden up here. Isn't that unbelievable? Talk about a pot belly.” -- Jay Leno


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Odd News


45-year-old, Wu Yulu controls his homemade rickshaw pulling robot in Beijing, China,Tuesday June 13, 2006. Wu fulfilled a 20 year old dream when he spent a year and 8000 yuan (US$1000) to make the robot. The robot is said to be capable of forward and backward movement for 6 hours covering 8km and is powered by electricity.(Photo/EyePress)