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Wednesday edition - October 4, 2006
Can the Republican Congress be impeached too?
"Everyone knows that Congress people are assigned to committees based on their great weakness. Why would Senator Ted Stevens, a man more comfortable in the horse and buggy era, be in charge of regulating the Internet? Which he believes is a series of tubes -- a series of tubes though which other congressmen can reach through and fondle 16-year-olds." --John Oliver
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
"On
Friday, Republican Congressman Mark Foley of Florida stepped down because, well,
he's in big trouble. If you were watching Fox News, you might have missed this
story -- they're still rerunning that Clinton video." --Stephen Colbert
Rep. Mark Foley's Perverted IMs: A Dramatic Reenactment - YouTube.com
Disturbing News
"Top White
House aide Dan Bartlett is criticizing Woodward's book, saying Woodward
formulated conclusions before he even started interviewing people. It would be
like invading a country without having the facts." --Jay Leno
Palm Beach Ostracizing
"Palm Beach society has overlooked quite a few criminals over the years. But they all tended to be white-collar criminals. Now, young boys, that's a different matter. I feel very sorry for Mr. Foley." - Herme de Wyman Miro, one of the doyenne keepers of good taste
Republican Shenanigans
"He's not a member, and I can ban whoever I want. I see Mark [Foley] at the club very often, but he is always someone else's guest. I have a feeling he won't be asked to come very often anymore. Personally, I don't much like men who want to kiss young boys." -- Donald Trump
"Overly friendly." --the initial characterization of Mark Foley's emails by House Speaker Dennis Hastert's office
Rock-The-Voter News
“In an
interview with Mike Wallace about his new book, legendary Washington Post
reporter Bob Woodward said that Henry Kissinger is advising President Bush on
Iraq ...Henry Kissinger? Is that best choice? How about taking advice from
somebody who helped direct a war we actually won?” - Jay Leno
Biz/Tech News
"This
incident is changing the way big companies do business in Washington -- like
tobacco companies are now hiring underage boys as lobbyists because they know
that's the best way to reach congressmen." --Jay Leno
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Florida, the state of hanging chads and Foley lads. - Zing!
Go-F***-Yourself News
Bob Woodward writes in his new book State of Denial that Don Rumsfeld wouldn't return Condi Rice's calls. He's no fool. Don Rumsfeld didn't make it to the top of three administrations by getting too close to the sheriff's gal. - Argus Hamilton, comedian
Did you forget the fundraiser?
No problem.
Odd News
The first ever walking robot and with an expressive face resembling Albert Einstein, dances during the Nexfest festival in New York. NextFest features 160 futuristic inventions from companies and institutions around the world, addressing growing climatic fears as well as more mundane domestic concerns. (Photo/Don Emmert)
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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