TO BAN JERRY LEWIS!
A VINDICTIVE PRESIDENT BUSH HAS VOWED
TO “HIT THE FRENCH WHERE IT HURTS”
REUTERS The Paris-based news daily Le Monde is reporting that French President Jacques Chirac has been receiving anonymous late night phone threats to the life of comedian Jerry Lewis, and that French Intelligence has traced the calls to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington DC.
“The garbled syntax, the poor grammar,” Le Monde quotes Chirac as saying. “I immediately knew that it must be (American President George W.) Bush.”
Bush has apparently chosen Lewis as the target of his rage over the refusal by France to join the “Coalition Of The Willing” against Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein. Inexplicably, Lewis has long been cherished by the French as a latter day Charlie Chaplin. When phoned by Reuters for comment, the comedian immediately began doing some incredibly unfunny shtick, so this reporter hung up on him.
In a related story, President Chirac revealed at a news conference that in the future the French will refer to the famous Gene Kelly musical as “An Imperialist In Paris” and will require that Kraft import its delicious individually wrapped slices of sunshine under the name of “Conquest Cheese”.
By David Podvin - Political Satirist