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...You're
pro-life, pro-death penalty, and pro-war, as long as it
...you
think "The Death of Outrage" by the former secretary of
......you are also
addicted to hillbilly heroin
...you think an AWOL
national guardsman alfred e. neuman look-a-like
...You actually
believe ANYTHING Rummy says........
...if you believe
that if you just work hard enough that someday you
...you
think being born in Connecticut and moving to Texas make you a
...If
you have no problem with our bombs finding Afghanistan or Iraq
...If you believe
that the 700 Club is the only reliable news program
...you think that
reading and investing in knowledge, as well as
...You think labor unions are a communist plot.
...if you think it is
unpatriotic and un-American to raise legitimate questions about Bush's foreign
policy and Iraq strategy while we have young men and women in harm's way in
Iraq, yet that same concern for patriotism was curiously absent when you blasted
Bill Clinton WHILE WE HAD YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN IN HARM'S WAY IN KOSOVO.--ceo93@hotmail.com
...You right an op-ed
piece in a newspaper attacking Clinton's nominee
...When
Democrats running for president attack President Bush, you
...You seem to think
that there is a "liberal media", yet you here for a
while.--ceo93@hotmail.com
...you believe that
the spread of AIDS can be stopped by pulling
...you are convinced
that greed has gotten a bad rap. Eric M
...you say that
government can do nothing good while you reap the
...you point to Sean
Hannity and say, "See, Jesus can cure ...the only person of
Asian heritage you know is your gardener, the ...the idea of living
in a police state doesn't bother you all that
...the 'magic bullet'
theory concocted by Arlen Spector, while he
......you pronounce nuclear as NEW-kyuh-luhr. chewzr
...you think any one
motivated in their profession by something other ...you really believe
that Bush the First's nomination of Clarence
...You think that
"we" are the only country that has "true freedom".
...You'd rather make
money than breathe
...If you think
African-Americans should stop whining because forty
...If you think that
Clarence Thomas and Condoleezza Rice are the
......you think Jesus actually spoke in Old English.
...you think that the
women's movement started in the '60s, unaware that such activists as Susan B.
Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton were fighting for women's rights back in the
latter half of the 19th Century. ...you think that any
woman who has the temerity to think they should
...you think
corporate profits are more important than breathable air, potable water, and a
diverse ecosystem. Eric M ...you think anything
bush says is the gospel and any criticism is the work of the lying liberals. ...you won't watch
the lerher report on pbs because it's not as ...just so long as
your investment portfolio is doing well, it doesn't matter to you that
3,000,000+ Americans have lost their jobs under Dubya's watch. (Many of which
will never return, as employers 'outsource' jobs to places like India, China,
and Russia where they can pay employees chicken feed as opposed to the living
wage Americans expect and ...when you see a
homeless person, a panhandler, or a destitute 'bag lady' who is pushing her
shopping cart full of her meager belongings down the street, you use your cell
phone to call the police. Eric M ...If you Fart or
Belch and say, That fer you Hilary ...Ann Coulter gives
you a "woody". ...you buy the BS
that shrub says about why our troops are being ...you believe a
billion a week in Iraq is making us safer even though high school kids can still
get box cutters onto airplanes
...you possess millions in unexplainable, unindictable, and now
......you're proud that Mr. Bush has implemented the toughest
...You tell everyone how much you believe in free enterprise based on
...you think that Sandra Day O'Connor is just too darned liberal!
...You refuse to use any product that has directions that say it
..You've never read the constitution, but feel you know exactly what
...you're convinced that anyone who complains about the loss of
...you blame all the economic problems the nation faces on F.D.R. and
...you wonder what's so wrong about being 'All Hat, No Cattle'. Eric
...you are an under-achieving drunk who is feeble enough to fail at
......you think that the EU is a communist power.
......you believe that Sweden is a communist country.
...your I.Q goes up after you get a lobotomy.
...you'd rather hug a smokestack than hug a tree.
...You believe God is on your side.
...you're so anal retentive, you were born potty trained! Eric M
...you think George III got a raw deal.
...you believe it was the Iraqi's and not the Saudi's who attacked us
...you think signing 152 death warrants is something Jesus would have
...you think it was okay to allow that plane load of Saudi's out of
...you listed Harvard as your second choice after Bob Jones University
...you can't understand how anyone would ever want to visit Paris
...Dead set against socialism, but have no fear of the insanely bland,
...the idea of Ahhnold as governor of California doesn't make you want
...You say we live in a free country but suggest anyone who criticizes
...you consider Sean Hannity one of the great intellects of the 21st
...you can reconcile the fact that Iraqi schools are being rebuilt
...you think Dick Cheney actually gives a damn about anyone else but
...you consider members of NOW a bunch of uppity dykes but see Ann
...you believe Rush Limbaugh when he characterizes the military
...you don't realize that Bob Jones University can be called ---- BJU
...if you think the media is "liberal."
...You're pro-life AND pro-death penalty - Nat- (aka Scepter )
...you got upset about the low payments families of 9/11 victims
...you believe there is anything patriotic about the PATRIOT act.
...you think that Tom Ridge is qualified to run the Dept. of 'Homeland Security', despite his single digit I.Q.
...Having WiFi
installed in Iraqi post offices is a sound financial
...you believe it was the Iraqis and not the Saudis who attacked us
...It does lift your mood thinking of Uday and Qusay's bullet mangled
...you think signing 152 death warrants is something Jesus would have
...you think it was okay to allow that plane load of Saudi's out of
...you listed Harvard as your second choice after Bob Jones University.
...you can't understand how anyone would ever want to visit Paris.
...You think Dubya fought in the revolutionary war.
...You don't see a connection between mental institutions' releasing
... people count their fingers after shaking hands with you. Rod Talley
...you claim to be a Patriot but can't identify
any constitutional
...you think that the GOP was started by Thomas Jefferson....
...It's snowing in December; it must be Clinton's fault
...you think it's great all the "ragheads" you wanted to bomb after 911 are liberated!
......you think you will go to hell if you vote Democrat because of
....Between choosing to send your kids to school or to war, you
...If you think the proposed museum to mock Bill Clinton is a great
...you believe J.C. Watts left Congress to spend more time with his ...if you believe Joe Scarborough left Congress to spend more time with his family. -Lisa
...You think of Colin Powell as a "good" Negro I mean African-American
...you believe Condoleeza Rice has any input in National Security, if ...you believe bush was trying to fly back to D.C. on Sept. 11th
...you truly believe that the current GOP is the party of Lincoln
...you really believe that God can only see you as other people do, ...you believe that Slavery ended?! ...you hear George W. Bush's voice and get an erection ...you hear Ann Coulter's voice and you get an erection
...you believe that Clarence Thomas and Ward Connerly are Black,
...you only have sex with your wife when a republikkkan wins -SSG M.
...you think Rita "Petunia Pig" Crosby from Faux is hot. -SSG M.
...you avoided military service but refer to the military as "our"
...your name has Dubya in the middle and you choke on pretzels in
...You believe in affirmative action for the privileged, but if it's
...You think Bush is the most eloquent president we've ever had ...You think Al Gore is a radical ...You think any protection of workers is the work of commies ...You think that a repeat of those handy WWII internment camps will take care of all the terrorists (foreigners) before they even THINK of doing anything ...You whine about welfare mothers but count on major subsidies, tax breaks, etc. for your own corporation and still refuse to pay any more than minimum wage ...You whine about the "liberal media" but have had no trouble getting your screed published and are making major $$$
...You might be a right wing republican if....you believe that Timothy
...you just don't understand why "The Simpsons" is so popular.
......your hands are silky smooth and you've never had a blister.
......you see no reason to shower more than once a week.
...you actually believe Jesus Christ would support capital gains
...you only have sex with the lights off, and your socks on....and ...you thought it was a damn, dirty shame what happened to poor Bob Livingston.
...you can listen to Tom Delay for more than 2 minutes without
... you really believe the framers intended for you to own a
...you'd prefer that a woman give birth to an ancephalic baby than
...you find the FOX News Channel to be "fair and balanced." ...You believe that Pat Robertson is a good, honest man even though he prayed for the DEATH of three Supreme court judges... ...You think WWII started in 1941
...You desert your post in the armed services during a time of war
...The federal government should stay out of states' rights -- unless
...you honestly think that the fact that Dubya's lie about the
"...God Bless America...first, and then Houston...Amen."
...If, like our president and his handlers, you choose policy
...you think Thomas Jefferson was a commie for suggesting dissent
...you're proud that Mr. Bush has implemented the toughest
...if you support invading countries that you have never even heard
...you have no problem with the title of Bill Bennett's new book
...you support GW's plan to funnel tax dollars to faith-based
...you think that the republican mascot was modeled after you...
...You can't spell school, but you think that dems should quit
...you think that everyone that isn't a white christian straight male ...Glue is your intellectual equal
...You believe that the presidency belongs to "whoever called it" ...you see no connection between the high approval rating and the mass deployment of troops...
...you have a copy of the bible that says that Jesus was a white
...you voted for Dubya because his nickname was easy to spell
...you think anyone who suggests our foreign policies for the last 50
...If you believe there were Dixie Chicks CD burning events because ...don't understand that waving the flag, supporting your leaders, and questioning the patriotism of anyone who questions the government would have made you a fine citizen of Iraq, Nazi Germany, and Soviet Russia too ...Live in the rural Midwest, where every farm and small town has been decimated, and still vote republican cause people like Reagan, George W, Dick Cheney, Tom Delay, and Dick Armey have your "real" concerns in mind
...You don't make the connection between Enron, Worldcom, the fact
...You physically and verbally attack a fellow citizen who fails to
...You believe the doctrine of Pre-emptive war against a country that
...You watch Fox news and consider yourself informed, yet consider
...You think Sean Penn, the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen and all those ...you defend the very rich while you live in a trailer. - Sierra
...you're against abortion rights AND welfare for those children born
...you claim that people on the left wing are communists,but you are ...you would spend $2,000 to eat a hot dog at a fundraiser.
...if you believe that "W" was protecting Nebraska on 9/11 or that he ...if your only source of information is "Faux News".
...while other children were playing with Lincoln Logs, board games,
...the one thing that stands between you and poverty is your trust
...you're over 30 years old and still have to get your mother's
...Your favorite erotic literature is the quarterly treasury interest
...you don't support sex outside of marriage since you're married, and
...You declare that any ordinary American can make it to top
.....you would rather have sex with Sandra Day O'Connor than Sandra
...If hearing Bill Clinton's name raised during every debate over
...you believe God Guns and Guts is either moral, logical or literate. -anonymous
......you use Jesus and guns in the same sentence.
...your solution for everything are tax cuts - aaron
...you think the fact that under Dubya's rule we now have fewer jobs, a shaky economy, and a multi-billion-dollar deficit--rather than the expanding economy, low unemployment and multi-billion-dollar surplus we had when Clinton left office--is still somehow Clinton's fault.
...you think other people should have fewer children but you won't allow sex education in schools because those horny teenagers might get ideas. by Syd
...you really think creationism is a science, Darwin was the devil, and all those million-year-old fossils were put into the geologic substrate by a God with a warped sense of humor strictly to pinpoint the godless and make them easier to send to hell. by Syd ...you'd rather build prisons than schools. by Syd ...you think for a second your money makes you a better person. ...you own a chocolate company that has "temp" workers that have been there for 10 years with no benefits or paid time off. ...you write a book called "the book of virtues" and then blow $8M in gambling over the course of 10+ years ...that sleeping with your first cousin is alright but god forbid two people of the same gender try and build a life together. ...if you think Choice Point should come and re-invent the voting process in your state, too. ...if for a second you think we "won" in iraq when all we really won was the ire of the iraqi people and the european union voting to slap sky-high tariffs on all american imports in retaliation for our "just war of liberation." ...you think "children are our most precious gift" and then think it's ok to bomb the sh*t out of a country where 50% of the population is under the age of 15 ...you think that having a few thousand dollars in an employer sponsored 401(k) makes you part of the "investor class" ...you scream at women that life is sacred and abortion is not a choice but never have gone and adopted at least a 6-pack of the "special needs" and unwanted children yourself ...you can't wait for President Jeb Bush in
2008. ...you've never looked up the definition of 'liberal', but you know it's gotta have something to do with commies.. ...you call yourself "pro-life" when all you
really care about is the birth. Then the poor schlub is on his/her own
'cause "I've given you the chance." ...you are convinced that quiche is part of a French conspiracy to deplete good red-blooded Americans of their 'precious bodily fluids'. Eric M ...the fact that your parents only owned one house and one car, in your mind, qualifies you as an expert on growing up underprivileged. Eric M ...You think that 9/11 changed the world ...you think Rick Santorum is getting a bum
rap for his homophobic comments. ...you KNOW that god's on your side. ...you love to tell everyone else what to
do, as long as you can do what you ...you learned that lobotomies don't hurt after all ! ...you stopped thinking years ago. ...you recently sent a letter to Dubya
suggesting that the next target in the ...you have ever offered to donate a gas
chamber to a homeless shelter. ...your i.q. is the same as your tax
bracket. Eric M ...you think that we should nuke North Korea back into the stone age. ...you think Bill O'Reilly's Fox News show
really is a 'no spin zone'. ...the Nevada state Gaming Commission sends
you a birthday card and fruit ...your bookie has you on speed dial. ...you believe that Dick Cheney "EARNS"
$31million/year with absolutely no conflict of interest! (this is from a true,
living conversation w/ a RW Repub.) ...you really believe that all the
millionaire brothers & sisters in the ...you think that "global warming" means
that the rest of the world is starting to "warm up" to Dubya! ...you really believe that George is running this country and do not know who Cheney, Rumsfield, Rove and Ashcroft are. .....You think the people have forgotten the
first person to die in the ..you think you're middle class but you're really just upper white trash ...you claim to be a virtuous Catholic and
disregard the Pope on the death ...you secretly wish that poor and disabled
people who cannot afford ...you still believe President Clinton
should have resigned from office and ...you have no sympathy for anyone who
didn't have the good sense to be born
into a rich, politically influential family. Eric M ...You think the Catholic church is too
liberal. ...you just can't seem to hear the sound of
a wounded, hungry, lonely child ...you think that self-styled "morality
czar" Bill Bennett is being unfairly ...You own an autographed photo of Rick Santorum. ...It takes you up to five times as long to drive anywhere, because you refuse to go left, even when driving!
...you can't quite see just how hypocritical it is
for the U.S. to brag about
...you think that Christian faith will fix
anything that can't be fixed by the
...you believe "supporting our troops" means
cheerleading the war in Iraq while
turning a blind eye to Bush's tax plan which will cut nearly 15 billion dollars
in Revenue from the VA over a ten year period- Michael Atwood email:
...you value your freedom of speech, but think that anyone else who disagrees with you should keep their mouths shut.
...you still wonder about that Tinky-Winky
Teletubbie character!
...you wonder why we need all them artsy-fartsy
artifacts from Iraqi
...you believe that Oliver North deserves the
Medal of Honor for helping the
...you think the term "freedom fries" is a real zinger
...when you saw Tiger Woods standing on the golf
course for the first time on
TV, you automatically assumed he was the caddie.
...You are pro life and pro capital punishment at the same time
...catch-phrases such as "shock & awe", collateral
damage", "targets of
...you believe that, come Judgment Day, when we're all waiting to see if we'll be allowed into Heaven, good ol' Dubya is gonna be immediately shown through the Pearly Gates - those poseurs Mother Teresa and the Pope are just gonna have to wait their turn in line
...you believe Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward should have been hanged for their treasonous acts against the the Republican Party... I mean... against the country
...You think Madonna is a whore, but you can't
take your eyes off Ann
...You hate all those Frenchies..except LePen!
...you refuse to acknowledge that the media does
not tell you what to
...you think Lesbians shouldn't be able to
pro-create but you wouldn't let them
get an abortion either.
...you think the U.S. REALLY wants a democratic society (one man - one vote) in Iraq. 60% of Iraq is Shiite. So Bush wants the Shiites in charge? I don't think so...
...You don't have a library card, don't have a computer, don't take a newspaper but never miss Fox news.
...you refer to the Holy Trinity as Bush, Cheney,
and Ashcroft and you refer
...the thought of a poor black woman having a baby makes you physically ill.
...You are waiting for the supreme court to give
you permission to pray .
...you can't figure out why people laughed so much at Archie Bunker.
...you honestly think that Saudi Arabia, Syria, Iran, Jordan, and all the other Arab nations really want Iraq to have a democratic government, even though none of them have one. Eric M
...you hold strong opinions of things you don't understand .
...You not only pick on little countries with
little military power, but also
......you think former Enron and Worldcom executives should be appointed to the SEC.
...You believe if it weren't for the U.S. the
French would be speaking German,
without realizing that if it weren't for the French we'd all be speaking
Cherokee
...you have silver in your hair, gold in your teeth, and lead in your pants!
...you make a special trip to the hardware store
each month to buy
...you just can't understand why your employees feel they need to have the minimum wage raised, when you give them a free cup of coffee each morning!
...you made your fortune the old fashioned way, you inherited it!
...as far as you're concerned, the last immigrants who should have been allowed into the country came over on the Mayflower.
...you think that Iran is an Arab country.
Eric M
...if you think that 'oxymoron' is a new brand of acne treatment.
...the fact that U.S. armed forces were ordered to
secure the Iraqi oil
...you pick who to vote for by how much their
election will benefit your
...you are convinced that greed is a moral imperative. Eric M
...Dubya and his handlers have you convinced that their dividend tax cut, which benefits people making $200,000.00 a year and up most, will somehow benefit people who hold minimum wage jobs. Eric M
...you have a 'Be American, buy American!' bumper-sticker on your BMW. Eric M
...your favorite verse from the Bible is 'those that do not work, do not eat'.
...you are convinced that Dubya won the 2000
Presidential Election fair and
square!
...you hope and pray that Sandra Day O'Connor will leave the Supreme Court soon so that Dubya can add another 'right thinking' justice to the court. Eric M
...you believe that the NRA is defending the
Constitution and not the ACLU
...you feel that the Supreme Court upholding
liberal legislation is improper
judicial activism, but when the Supreme Court upholds right-wing legislation, it
is just doing its job. Eric M
...them 'lefty liberal Hollywood types' don't have
the right to criticize
...as a Conservative Christian, you wonder why so many people keep calling the son of God "Jesus". you felt sure he was named "Rush L."
...you think there are enough $5million per year
jobs out there for everyone to
have one, if they'd only work hard enough.
...You think tying a yellow ribbon is patriotic,
forgetting that the original
...you firmly believe the N.R.A. bromide "If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.", but can't quite see how this also might apply to drugs.
...you believe Saddam poses the same level of
threat to the World today, with
his outdated and demoralized army, that Nazi Germany did back in the 1930s and
1940s with its well equipped and well led armed forces.
...you think you are defeating...rather than causing more terrorism and hatred all over this planet..
...you listen to Rush Limbaugh in order to figure
out what you're supposed to
think. ...you despise, hate and fear 'freedom of speech' that does not echo the views of the powers that are now in control.
...you regularly write letters to the U.S. mint demanding that they take F.D.R. off of the dime and replace him with Senator Joseph McCarthy.
...you think that since 'our boys' have defeated
Sad. H, that we own the
...you honestly think the U.S. defeated Nazi
Germany virtually single-handed in
World War II. (Ignoring the fact that 3/4 of the military might of the
Wehrmacht was sent against the U.S.S.R. from the start of Operation Barbarossa
until the end of the war.
...you think 'punishing' Canada in trade matters
or at border crossings, you
will still get the 94% of natural gas, and all the other resources you are
...when you watch a baseball or hockey game where one team is Canadian, you get upset that they play that other anthem after ours!
...you save all the pennies you get, 'cause your sure that copper prices are going to go through the roof one of these days! (Not realizing that pennies minted now contain only a small amount of copper, and are made mostly of an inexpensive alloy.) Eric M
...the aggregate I.Q. of the brain-trust you hang
out with is below the
......the misuse of the word 'compassion' is
nothing compared to the past
......you believe Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the
USA," is our country's ...you think those who see this war as immoral are against our troops, rather than against the illegal decision to invade...
...when you hear about starving Iraqis on the news due to the U.N. sanctions, you think 'Let them eat oil!'
...the government subsidizing and financial
assistance to the poor, disabled,
and elderly is abhorrent to you, but having the government subsidize
multi-million and billion dollar corporations is just fine with you!
...you think its fair for the DOD to deduct the
disability payments disabled
vets receive from their pension payments, when no other Federal employees are
hit with this penalty, the worst risk most of them ever faced at work was a
paper cut.
...you think that rich people are an oppressed minority.
...you don't seem to realize that the only reason
Dubya may have cried each
time Texas executed someone during his tenure as Governor is because he didn't
have the privilege of pulling the switch himself.
...in the face of crime statistics that show that
only 5% of the violent crimes
in this country are committed by people with mental illness, you firmly believe
that most mentally ill people should be locked up and the key thrown away.
...you can't see the resemblance between Dubya and
Howdy Doody.
...Amos 'n Andy was one of your favorite tv shows,
and you just can't
...a charity asking you for $22.00 a month to keep
a child in a third world
...you are convinced that the Bill of Rights is was cooked up by lefty, commie, pinkos, and should be repealed for the good of the country.
...all the books about American history you have ever read were written by Lilly White and her son, Whitey Backlash.
...you oppose universal health care. In your way of thinking, people who can't afford adequate health insurance are just sh*t out of luck!
...you think Dubya's 'economic stimulus package',
whick will mainly help his
..flag burning, to your way of thinking, should be
a capitol offense.
...your favorite phrase with reference to minority
groups is, "Some of my best
friends are . . .", but they aren't, really.
...you think Ebenezer Scrooge was a spineless sellout.
...when Halloween rolls around, you turn out all
the lights in your house and
hide in the basement. You won't support begging of any kind!
...when approached by a panhandler, tell them to
"get a job!", but wouldn't
dream of giving someone like that a job at your company!
...when you see an African-American, even an elderly one, coming towards you, you cross the street, just to be safe.
...you get more upset if your local liquor store
runs out of your brand of beer
than if some poor slobs who can't find work in a lousy economy have their
unemployment benefits run out.
...you sip brandy and smoke expensive, imported
cigars with your cronies at
your favorite cigar bar, but oppose the opening of liquor stores in your
neighborhood and think smoking cigarettes should be banned everywhere.
...the last time you went out to eat with your friends and picked up the check, Eisenhower was president.
...the local branch of the John Birch Society banned you from their meetings because you are too reactionary for their tastes.
...the F.B.I. has told you to stop writing love
letters to Bob and/or Elizabeth
...Sandra Day O'Connor is your love goddess.
...Geraldo Rivera giving away information on the location and movements of U.S. troops in a combat situation doesn't bother you, after all he works for Fox News, and they can do no wrong!
...you are still convinced that Enron will be making a comeback any day now.
...you make more dollars than sense.
...you still carry a grudge about what happened to that nice, young Senator Joseph McCarthy
...when you see a liberal protestor being beaten
up by a policeman, you become
sexually aroused.
...the painting 'Dogs Playing Poker' is your idea of truly great art!
...being a 'ditto-head' is your proudest achievement in life.
...you would just as soon shave your head and join the Hare Krishnas, then go to a fine arts museum.
...listening to talk radio keeps you 'informed'.
Eric M
...Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, and the Fox and
Friends gang have all
...Strom Thurmond sends you a birthday card every year.
...you wrote and published a book of poetry entitled 'The Joys of Supply-Side Economics'.
...you would send more hate-mail to those
stinking, commie, pinko, unpatriotic,
liberal Congressman, but it takes so long to get one out typing with one finger.
...the less you know about a subject, the stronger
your opinions are concerning
it.
...to you, having an unqualified Republican in the
White House is better than
having a qualified Democrat there.
...you have the best PC money can buy, but don't have a clue as to what to do with it once you turn it on.
...when Ronald Reagan testified that he didn't
recall being told about the
...you get props for your "consistent" policy from
your friends, but you
...you think that if Canada doesn't say "How
high?" on the way up when the
US says "Jump!", the US is perfectly justified in squashing Canada like a bug.
...you really think that the US military "defends"
Canada (and Mexico) from
… you fail to see the hypocrisy of ignoring the
U.N. to show Saddam you do
...you think supply side makes sense, because side dishes are your favorite.
...you believe FOX News is actually 'Fair and Balanced Reporting'.
...abortion is murder, but the bombing of children is collateral damage.
...you protect your freedoms by taking freedoms away from everyone else.
...You ramble on and on about those who fought and died for our freedoms, then turn a blind eye to those who fought and lived.
Brian in Knoxville
...You can't see the sick irony in using weapons
of mass destruction to attack
a country that you suspect has weapons of mass destruction
...you believe that anyone who talks of peace is
either a communist or is
...you blather that US troops in Iraq are "fighting for our freedoms" and in the same breath say that those anti-American protesters oughta be all shipped to concentration camps or into Iraq where they can be "turned into mist by our boys over there". - http://involution.org/rattler
...you're open-minded enough to try to find humor
in the stuff on this page
but just don't see it, try as you may. :D
...your Dubya ass-kissing neighborhood rallies when Dubya liberates the poor suffering people of Iraq, but has a hissy fit when the first family of those towel heads move into YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD!!!!
... you make education your "number one priority"
and then list it THIRD on
......you believe 49% of the popular vote constitutes a mandate from the people
......you've done as you're told and completely
forgotten about Bin Laden,
whose capture we were promised by the President was supposed to be "our number
one priority" ( quoted Sept 2001) now doesn't really matter and (according to
the president again) that Bin Laden is "NOT a priority" (quoted January 2003).
.....you really think there's a link between
Hussein and Bin Laden, when
......you think it makes sense that we spent 50
million dollars to discover
...your favorite exercise is dressing in a white
sheet and scaring the new
......you have one of those Charlton Heston is my
other president bumper
...you have been unemployed for a year or more and
still continue to blame
Clinton for your plight while singing the praises of an administration that
hardly gives a s**t about you!
...you firmly believe that the phrases, "right to
life" and "right to own guns"
...you consider anyone who makes less than $100,000.00 a year to be dirt poor.
...If you now use the phrase "mother of all bombs"
to refer to a particular I bet that's how shrub feels.
...you think tax cuts for the rich are going to help this economy
...You believe that the country club serving you red, white and blue cupcakes is a masterful stroke of patriotism.
...you agree in principal that the U.S. should
seek energy self sufficiency,
...you think the robber-barons of the late 19th
Century were just
...you think the president should be chosen by the
supreme court from now on.
That darned democratic process is just too darned messy! Eric M
...you think "The Green Berets" is the best movie
ever made.
...you think more spending for more jails is the answer to less spending for social programs
...you believe in the sanctity of life from the
moment of conception right up
to the moment of birth. rambler american
...you enjoy sending sons and daughters of the less fortunate into battle for your own personal political gain
...you call the media liberal and then can't name
one person fitting in that
category
...you think that trimming the proposed tax cut in half actually qualifies as a tax increase.
...patriotism means love for your government, not
love for your country. Leslie
in Canada
...you hold Rush Limbaugh, Savage, Hannity, O'Reilly, and Coulter on the same level as Billy Graham, Pat Buchanan and the believuhs at TBN
...you don't think we need allies, just as long as
we can scare the
...you don't think it actually matters if we find
any weapons of mass
...you think all these retired military types who have been out of the 'loop' for years and years that the TV networks have dredged up actually know what they're talking about.
...you think Peter Arnett is a back-stabbing
traitor and should be hanged for
...you support the repeal of the dividend tax but
oppose raising the minimum
wage to a living wage.
...the only Democrat you are impressed with is John C. Calhoun.
...you think that 'public assistance' should
consist of giving the poor,
...you think sending one billion of dollars to Turkey, when many States are having to cut essential services to the disabled and elderly due to revenue shortfalls, is a real good idea.
...you honestly feel that changing the name
'French fries' to 'Freedom fries'
will really teach those back-stabbing Frenchies a lesson!
...you think that France, Germany, Russia, and Turkey have a lot of nerve thinking they can go around having their own foreign policies separate from ours!
...You can use the phrase "compassionate
conservative" with a straight face
while threatening reporters into not filming the thousands of innocent Iraqi
dead.
...You think that war could have been avoided if
only Saddam had started a
money-grubbing oil company like any normal dictator.
...Your "Leave No Child Behind" does not include
the thousands of economically
deprived American minority member children even now being sent off to die so you
only have to pay 40 cents to the gallon.
...You think George W. and Dumbo don't look alike
...you think the only thing standing between you &
fabulous wealth with
Paradise on Earth is giving the richest people in the country all their tax
money back, letting endangered species die, dangerous or untrustworthy
industries "regulate" themselves, making high-paid doctors & HMO's immune from
lawsuits when they f*ck up or deny somebody treatment, and beating the hell out
of anybody who has the gall to ask to be treated like a real human being even if
they can't afford to give thousands of dollars to your campaign. Well stated. Are you Paul Begala?
...you eat babies....... (OK, it's an exaggeration, but it's the most succinct & over-the-top way I could think of for showing how f*cked up the Republican Guard in DC really is)
I understand.
...your favorite insults include "Professor",
"intellectual", or "peace-monger".
...your attention span shuts off after anything more than a 6-second soundbite.
...you have two ways of clearing your bowels of
filth: orally AND anally.
...the terms "conflict of interest" and "insider
trading" mean nothing to you &
your pals at Halliburton, Harken, Enron, & whatever Savings & Loan Neil Bush
ripped off.
...a cushy Texas Air National Guard hideaway from
the horrors of Vietnam is too
much for your cocaine & whiskey saturated ass to handle, let alone be grateful
for (unlike the thousands of un-connected Blacks & poor people who simply had to
risk coming home in tiny little pieces in a bodybag)!
...You can't understand this quote: "To announce
that there must be no
criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or
wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the
American public." --Theodore Roosevelt, 1918
...you think that "freedom" for iraq is the same a "crusade" in which they should be purged with the flames of salvation
...Clinton's pen*s is still of greater concern to you, than the number of dead iraqi children in this war
...your idea of "the ultimate sacrifice" would be having your multi-millionaires-only tax cut welfare dropped from $700 billion to a "mere" $400 billion during a war.
...you are so dense that you can't see how legitimizing "pre-emptive" wars will be a disaster for global stability.
...you seem oblivious to the meaning of the word "hypocrite" you double talking veterans-benefits-slashing-during-war-right-to-life-unless-it's-a black-man-whose-lawyer-slept-through-the-trial-corporate-welfare giving SUV(Stupid Ugly Vulgar)-driving police-state-loving chickenhawk!!!
...you claim to be "pro life" while
enthusiastically supporting the death
...you claim to have "gone broke" by paying taxes. Tracy C.
...you aren't taking comfort in the fact that the Big Shrub's chances of re-election (not that he was elected in the first place) are shrinking, casualty by casualty.... Susan from Florida
...you've never actually met a black person who's not hired help.
...you're very, very good at saying, "Let's you and him fight."
...you think liberating people means sending them to heaven - Thomas Tomello
...you think Bush is not a crazed, short-tempered, moron - Anonymous
...you love "Freedom Fries" "Freedom Toast"
"Freedom Kiss," Vi Va la Amercian!
...you do not remember the French getting
out of Viet Nam in 1954 and not listening to the French in 2003.
...you think we have a free press.
...you believe Iraq was a real threat to the US.
...you worry about blacks on welfare.
...you believe that Fox News and the Bible are the only two sources worthy of trust.
...you believe a republican calling for democracy is anything more than a call for privatization of resources
...you buy American flags made in China, Pakistan, etc.
...you think Strom Thurmond winning the presidency
really WOULD'VE made this
country a better place.
...you trust Laura Bush to drive you to the airport.
...you mistake Civility for Servility.
...you don't know the difference between Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein.
...you believe everyone who disagrees with you
"hasn't seen the light" so they_must_ be against God too and deserve to be "exposed".
...You ranted about Clinton being a draft dodger whenever he so much as ordered the National Guard down to McDonald's to get him a Big Mac, but when Dubya sends American troops to die in Iraq, you're not concerned that he went AWOL from the National Guard during Vietnam.
......you go to a pro-war rally wearing an Old
Navy shirt (let's hear it for
......You claim that "A high tide lifts all
boats", but forget that it drowns
...you might have been persuaded to change your
views on the war if Saddam had only joined the NRA.
...you support the troops by waging war on Veteran's Benefits.
...iraqis fight for their country are terrorists
and dubiya invading a country
...you get all your news from FOX and the
Compliant News Network and only use
the internet for surfing porn sites...
http://underground.homeless.com/
...you really believe Limbaugh, Savage, Hannity,
O'Reilly, Coulter etc. when
...... you have more dollars than sense.
...you voted for chickenhawk Saxby Chambliss over
Vietnam vet Max Cleland in
last year's Georgia Senate race.
...you think that the Federal deficits the Dubya
administration are somehow
...you can use the phrase 'compassionate
conservative' in conversation with a
straight face. Eric M
...you think all low-cost housing projects should be knocked down to make room for more lovely golf courses.
...you honestly think the best way to defend the Constitution, which includes the Bill of Rights, we must be willing to curtail or eliminate the protections afforded citizens by the Bill of Rights. Eric M
...you don't see anything strange about Dubya
waging all-out war on Iraq when
there is no concrete proof that they have any weapons of mass destruction, or
evidence that they are a threat to the U.S. in any way, and says that North
Korea is no problem when they already have nukes, and may have lots more soon.
...you think it was real wrong for Hillary Clinton
to have private hearings to |
