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Romney campaign spent $18.50 per vote

NEW YORK (CNNMoney) — Well, it’s over. Mitt Romney has amassed a nearly-insurmountable delegate lead, and is on track to become his party’s nominee for president.

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“Mitt Romney is unbelievable. There is no level to which he will not stoop. Famously Mitt Romney strapped the dog to the roof of the car. So this week the Romney campaign put out that Obama, when he was six years old living in Indonesia, he ate dog meat and grasshoppers. You know, the number 12. He was six years old! The White House released a statement today saying the president was so sickened by this charge that he ate some grass and threw up.” –Bill Maher

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The World-Is-a-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

• NATO reports 4 troop deaths in Afghanistan
• 7 Killed in Syria as More UN Monitors Arrive
• Top Shiite cleric offices in Iraq attacked
• Crisis worries Iraqi Kurdish leader
• Israel releases Palestinian protest leader
• Israeli leaders mixed on Iran sanctions
• N. Korea: ‘Mobile weapons’ capable of striking US
• N. Korea marks army day, vowing war against South

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Satellite Watching Syria

Satellite imagery and other credible reports show that, despite its claims, Syria has failed to withdraw all of its heavy weapons from populated areas as required by a cease-fire deal, international envoy Kofi Annan’s spokesman said Tuesday.

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So everyone is in a big uproar because Obama once ate dog meat. At least he didn’t eat a bowl of stupid every day like the last president. – Jerry, AHNC viewer

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Republican Shenanigans

• Republican National Committee endorses Romney
• Rick Santorum Still Won’t Endorse Mitt Romney
• Freshman Republican from Texas reports TSA altercation
• House GOP pulls its budget punches

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“I think Republicans live in a world now where whatever a liberal says, no matter how sensible, is automatically evil, wrong, and needs to be fought with the fervor of a starving raccoon on crystal meth.” –Bill Maher

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Why Wait Until May 1st Newt?

Newt Gingrich is likely to officially suspend his bid for the presidency on Tuesday, May 1, Fox News reports.

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Rock the Voter

• Obama: Agents in trouble are ‘knuckleheads’
• Obama on Jimmy Fallon: Top moments with ‘POTUS with the most-est’
• Woman Spills Yogurt on Obama
• Michelle Obama, Ann Romney, Hillary Clinton: In Personal Popularity, the Women Rule
• Rural kids, parents angry about Labor Dept. rule banning farm chores
• ‘Justice for Trayvon’: Alabama Man in Critical Condition After Mob Beating
• Now out of jail, George Zimmerman fades from sight

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In Floriduh: Misdemeanor Upgraded to a Felony. They Supersized Him

A Florida man was arrested and held on $6,500 bond after police in Collier County said he left a McDonald’s without paying for a cup of soda valued at $1.

Mark Abaire, 52, had apparently asked staff at the Naples restaurant for a courtesy cup of water, but instead he allegedly filled the cup with soda

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“Yesterday the Secret Service said they’re interviewing rock star Ted Nugent because of remarks that he made that made them think he might be threatening the President’s life. Now look, I don’t agree with Ted Nugent on almost anything. But to call him a threat is ridiculous. Not as ridiculous as to call him a rock star, but ridiculous nevertheless.” –Bill Maher

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Business News

• Oil prices decline on growing supply
• Halliburton Opposes BP’s Proposed Settlement of Gulf Spill
• SKorea retailers halt US beef sales over mad cow
• At inquiry, Rupert Murdoch defends 50 year record

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Arrest in BP Oil Spill

By arresting a former BP engineer Tuesday, federal prosecutors for the first time showed their hand in the Gulf oil spill case, saying they were probing whether BP PLC and its employees broke the law by intentionally lowballing how much oil was spewing from its out-of-control well.

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“The Secret Service agent thought he was paying $30, and it turned out the prostitute wanted $800, which sounds like a lot, but in her defense, she said she is paying a higher tax rate than Mitt Romney.” –Bill Maher, on the Secret Service prostitution scandal

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 Legal Defense Fundraiser

14 days till my court date

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Odd News

• Another ‘Heart Attack Grill’ customer collapses while eating ‘bypass burger’
• N.Y. Mom Fired After Donating Kidney to Help Her Boss
• Hugh Hefner declares war on bedroom politics
• Va. couple accidentally shot at gun safety class
• Dogs get $5,000 wedding with all the amenities

In this Oct. 7, 1914 photo provided by the New York City Municipal Archives, painters are suspended from wires on the Brooklyn Bridge in New York. Over 870,000 photos from an archive that exceeds 2.2 million images have been scanned and made available online, for the first time giving a global audience a view of a rich collection that documents life in New York City. Photo/New York City Municipal Archives, Department of Bridges/Plant & Structures, Eugene de Salignac

Peace.