Wednesday edition - September 9, 2009



Bush, Arnie top English gobbledegook poll
AFP – 9-9-09

LONDON (AFP) - Former US president George W. Bush topped a poll of the worst examples of mangled English released Wednesday, followed closely by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Donald Rumsfeld.

Sonia Sotomayor takes her seat on US Supreme Court bench
New York Daily News - 9-9-09
WASHINGTON - Justice Sonia Sotomayor debuted her new black robe at a special Supreme Court induction on Tuesday, with President Obama and pop singer Ricky Martin looking on...

Taxpayers face heavy losses on auto bailout
The Associated Press - 9-9-09
WASHINGTON — Taxpayers face losses on a significant portion of the $81 billion in government aid provided to the auto industry, an oversight panel said in a


President Obama plans to make a televised speech to the nation's students during school hours. Many Republicans are planning to keep their kids home from school in protest. As a result, those kids have voted Obama 'Best President Ever.'" --Conan O'Brien



The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam




More Baghdad Electrocutions


A State Department contractor apparently has been electrocuted while showering in Baghdad even as U.S. authorities in Iraq try to remedy wiring problems that have led to the deaths of American troops there.

The contractor, Adam Hermanson, 25, died Sept. 1, his wife, Janine, said Tuesday. She added that a military medical examiner told her that preliminary findings indicate her husband died from low voltage electrocution.


"Labor day weekend. Remember Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska? She's having a big cookout for all her family, all of her friends up there in Alaska. And people say, 'Is she any good? Can she cook?' Remember last year she cooked John McCain's goose? Remember that? Tremendous!" --David Letterman




Disturbing News


"Former President George W. Bush has hired a man to lead his presidential think tank in Dallas. The man was hired because he was the only candidate who could say the words, 'George W. Bush think tank' with a straight face." --Conan O'Brien


New Terrorist Targets


Terrorists are aiming for hotels and other easier-to-hit targets as security measures at military and government facilities continue to improve, says a global intelligence company.

Al-Qaida is changing from a centralized organization with global goals to regional "franchises" with more parochial aims and strong grass-roots support, according to a report Tuesday from STRATFOR. These smaller cells get less training and less money, so they set their sights lower.





Republican-Shenanigans News


"And then next month, Sarah Palin is going to Hong Kong...She's going to do her best to promote capitalism while she's in Hong Kong, and then I guess in the end of the trip, she'll be riding around in helicopters, shooting pandas." --David Letterman


Gag Me With A Spoon


 If you've ever wanted to eat dinner with Sarah Palin, now's your chance.

With bids starting at $25,000, eBay is auctioning off a dinner for five with the former Alaska governor and her husband, Todd. The proceeds will go to "Ride 2 Recovery," a charity that provides wounded veterans with bicycles and organized rides...



Rock-The-Voter News




Blagojevich Update


Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich said Tuesday that statements he made on secret FBI wiretap tapes were taken out of context by prosecutors and that he might try to call senators and a top White House official as witnesses at his racketeering and fraud trial to back his version of events


Ads by Google



Biz-Tech News


"The economy getting worse. The Department of Labor today announced that unemployment is at a 26-year high of 9.7%, making this the most ironic Labor Day since 1983." --Jimmy Kimmel



Bush-Prison-Torture News


"Some Republicans are saying they want Dick Cheney, that's right, Dick Cheney, to run for president in 2012. Of course, you have to remember that when they said this, Cheney was torturing them." --Conan O'Brien

Go-F**k-Yourself News




A big thank you for yesterday's donations from Richard, David, Stephen, John and Carol.


If you can, please support All Hat No Cattle

Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312


Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo



Alexandra Kim, curator of the Royal Ceremonial Dress Collection, holds a pair of bloomers which once belonged to Britain's Queen Victoria, as she poses for the photographer at Kensington Palace, in central London, Tuesday, Sept. 8, 2009. The underwear, which has a 56-inch (142-centimeter) waist, has been added to Britain's Royal Ceremonial Dress Collection at Kensington Palace. It has a matching chemise, is embroidered with a 'VR' and is believed to date from the 1890s.
Photo/Lefteris Pitarakis





Copyright Notice