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Tuesday edition - September 9, 2008
Oh, SNAP. Getting paid to stay at home. What is that, welfare for Republicans?
Now Sarah
Palin knows foreign policy because Alaska is next to Russia. You know, I used to
live next to a McDonald’s, but that don’t make me an expert on F.D.A.
regulations. – Will Durst
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam Barack Plays The Humor Card
Barack Obama poked some fun
at his Arabic-derived first name
to explain the need for the constitutional right of prisoners to appeal their
detention.
Disturbing News
"Last night, John McCain said that under the Democratic health care plan, a bureaucrat would stand between you and your doctor, as opposed to the Republican health care plan, where an accountant would stand between you and your health care." -Jay Leno
Bill Invites Barack To Visit Harlem Bill Clinton and Barack Obama will
have their first private meeting of the campaign season on Thursday at the
former president's Harlem office, campaign aides said, signaling another step
toward party unity as the race for the White House intensifies.
“No one knows what war is like other than my family. Period.” - Megan McCain, John McCain's daughter
Republican-Shenanigans News
College Republican Makes Fun Of Obama's Lips
The leader of a
statewide group of college Republicans has been forced to resign after posting
racially insensitive comments about Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama
on the Internet.
"Hey, did you all see John McCain last night? He gave a great speech. And you've got to admit, he looked so life-like, didn't he?" -Jay Leno
"Bush
didn't make the convention because the hurricane, Gustav, hit New Orleans, but
actually didn't. Bush was at the Hurricane Command Center, taking credit for a
perfect emergency response to a perfect non-emergency. Although he actually did
cause some panic, because viewers at home saw him sitting there, doing nothing,
and they thought maybe it was another terrorist attack." -Bill Maher Subject: a reminder
Since many of us have
short-term memory loss
Alan Charles
Dueling Obamas
Barack Obama
competed against himself Monday with interviews airing simultaneously on two
different networks. They might as well have been two different galaxies.
Rock-The-Voter News
"Cindy McCain appeared at the Republican National Convention, and Vanity Fair took a look at an outfit she wore. The magazine priced it out at around $300,000. With that kind of money, you could buy an 11th house." -Jimmy Kimmel
The Sarah
Palin Action Figure courtesy of Herobuilders.com. The US vice presidential
hopeful's fashion sense is winning applause in an unexpected quarter -- in
Japan, where the maker of her rimless glasses is enjoying a sudden boost in
business.
"Should we be nervous about a man who preaches against wasteful spending when his wife is wearing $300,000?" -Jimmy Kimmel
Biz-Tech News
Hurricane Ike ravaged Cuba. You could tell it was windy out at Gitmo. The waterboarding tubs had white caps - LaughLines
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"But what
was the main thrust of John McCain's message? [on screen: McCain saying business
in Washington needs to be changed]. Hmm. That's funny. I think I remember
another guy with a very similar message [on screen: Obama talking about change].
No. No. No, no, not that guy [on screen: President Bush in 2000 saying he wants
to 'change' Washington]. That's the guy! I remember that! He's going to change
the tone of Washington. How did that work out?" -Jon Stewart
"During
John McCain's speech last night, an anti-Republican heckler began yelling at
him. Yeah. Officials removed the man and immediately gave him a job at MSNBC." -Conan
O'Brien Pit Bull With Lipstick
Go-F**k-Yourself News
Rumors On The Internets
Lance Armstrong will always
have Paris, where he completed his seven consecutive Tour de France triumphs —
the last in 2005.
"Actually, some Republicans are not that thrilled with McCain's speech. In fact, the rumor is Sarah Palin is thinking of dropping him from the ticket." -Jay Leno
Subject: Your birthday
Happy Birthday Lisa!
Don't you hate sharing your birthday week with 9-11. I remembered your birthday because we share the same day.
Craig
Happy Birthday to you too Craig! Thank you so much for remembering.
I don't mind sharing my birthday week with 9-11 as much as I do mind sharing my astrological sign, Virgo, with John McCain! The horror of it all.
I hope you had a good time today Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
Odd News
Residents in
Key West, Fla., who didn't adhere to the resident evacuation orders for
Hurricane Ike, celebrate the cancellation of a hurricane watch for the Florida
Keys on the island's Duval Street Monday, Sept. 8, 2008. Ike's devastating core
is expected to pass well south and west of Key West, sparing the Keys island
chain of hurricane force winds and major impact.
Peace.
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