September 9  2003 Tuesday

US seeks backing on Iran nuclear issue
Boston Globe, MA - 9-9-03 Associated Press

VIENNA -- The United States and its allies lobbied a key UN atomic agency conference yesterday to join them in calling on Iran to prove it is not running a covert nuclear weapons program...Last week the Bush administration decided not to ask the Vienna meeting to endorse a resolution finding Iran in noncompliance of the atomic agency's obligations -- a conclusion that would have brought the matter to the UN Security Council.

"There was no other choice but to back down, because that proposal didn't have many countries to go along with it," Salehi said.
       United States says Iran in noncompliance of Nuclear ...  -
       US Hints Iran Violating Nuclear Treaty - Montgomery County Record

 Bush snookers public over Iraq
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, WI - 9-9-03

Two years later, is it "gullible" for some to still insist Saddam Hussein had something to do with the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001?
Or does that kind of blind - some might say misguided - faith require a word that's a bit stronger?
You know, something like "sucker"?
Back in my old neighborhood, folks who kept falling for the same con over and over were considered suckers...

Army troops, budget stretched to the limit - 9-9-03

...Meanwhile, the Army is scouring units worldwide for Humvees, especially the armored variety, to fill acute shortages in Iraq. The Army Materiel Command recently reported that it has a months-long backlog of orders for replacement tracks for its Abrams tanks, Bradley Fighting Vehicles, and Paladin self-propelled howitzers, because of unexpectedly high wear and tear in Iraq. Electrical generators are likewise in short supply...

We need someone like Captain Kirk to save this planet.

Army extends reservists ’ Iraq tours
MSNBC - 9-9-03
These US soldiers with the 652nd Engineering Co. in Baqouba, Iraq, are among the 42,000 US Army reservists and National Guard in Iraq. By Vernon Loeb. ...

Outlook: Is Iraq the New Vietnam? Washington Post


"Britney Spears preceded the president there at the big NFL kickoff show and her costume was a salute to the president's educational proposals. It's true, every time she turned around you could see a child's left behind." —Bill Maher

Flunking Funding?
ABC News - 9-9-03
... not enough federal aid has been appropriated for schools to prepare for and administer the tests in order for them to be in compliance with No Child Left Behind ...

Class size reduction still a political question
The Ledger, Florida - 9-9-03
... But efforts to squash the class size provision now in the state constitution have failed before - even though they were led by Gov. Jeb Bush as he was making ...

"The State of Florida killed Paul Hill, he was the pro-life fanatic who murdered an abortion doctor. ... Of course, Florida being Florida, the executioner pulled the switch and accidentally voted for Pat Buchanan." —Bill Maher



Click here for the submissions to the question:

Why didn't Saddam use his Weapons of Mass Destruction?

Winning Entry:

Because he couldn't find the f-ing things either.

2nd Winning Entry:

Because, just like a 'compassionate conservative,' they don't exist.


3rd Winning entry:

Shucks!  Even heartless, amoral, bloodthirsty dictators have standards! 

Eric M


"I knew this was coming. Last week, President Bush dropped his dog Barney on the dog's head. Today, Al Qaeda claimed full responsibility." —David Letterman

Naked activists protest WTO meeting
CNN Europe, Europe 9-9-03
... set up camp, renting hammocks and swatting mosquitoes, and vowed to derail the meetings
with protests ... Agriculture will likely be at the top of the Cancun agenda ...

Bush Country

A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Bush appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, "Now, there's the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and decked him. A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Mrs. Bush appeared on the television. "She's a horse's ass too," the man. This time, a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool. "Damn it!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Bush country!" "Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!"

Zelda Morgan




Click to email >

Big Sound Bites - Bush Begs for Billions of Bucks


Dear Congressional Di*khead,

Just say no to Presidiot Bush.

Create Peace!
Zelda Morgan AHNC Mercenary Journalist

PS. Each time you vote yourself a pay raise, the minimum wage should increase automatically at the same rate.

Click here for Big Sound Bites - Bush Begs for Billions of Bucks


Click here for Zelda's Archived Columns









This image of Saturn, released Tuesday, Sept. 9, 2003, taken by NASA's Hubble Space Telescope between March and April 2003, shows the planet's rings at a maximum tilt of  26 degrees toward Earth. (NASA Handout)