Tuesday edition - September 30, 2008





Bailout rejected; new bill vowed
Boston Globe - 9-30-08
Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson (right) pledged yesterday to renew negotiations with lawmakers. He said he has ''significant tools in our tool kit'' to fix the economy, but they are ''insufficient'' to solve the current crisis without a bailout deal..


Republicans accuse speaker of shattering fragile bail-out deal
guardian.co.uk, UK -
- 9-30-08
Angry Republican leaders blamed Nancy Pelosi, the Democratic Speaker of the House of Representatives, last night for shattering a mood of bipartisan

Voter hostility to bailout may have been key
Dallas Morning News, TX -
- 9-30-08
WASHINGTON After the House's defeat of the financial bailout bill on Monday, lawmakers were left stunned, worried and sometimes furious


"Is the sky really falling, or are they just trying to convince us? You know, Bush went on TV -- he's always a guy who inspires confidence -- Wednesday night, and he said, quote, 'America could slip into a financial panic. The economy is in great danger.' And he held a flashlight under his chin." --Bill Maher



The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam


"President Bush spoke about the Wall Street bailout yesterday, and he said, this is the quote, 'if the money isn't loosened up, this sucker could go down.' So folks, if we know nothing else at this point, at least we know that President Bush is writing his own speeches." --Conan O'Brien


Pirate Update


There has been a shoot-out between Somali pirates on a hijacked cargo ship loaded with 33 tanks, the East African Seafarers' Association says.

The maritime group's Andrew Mwangura told the BBC three men where shot in a row over tactics.




Disturbing News

Recruiter Suicides


An alarming number of suicides among Houston-based Army recruiters -- including two in recent weeks -- has prompted calls by a senator and veterans' advocates for closer scrutiny of high-stress recruiting duty during wartime.




"Now the political season is affecting Halloween. It's even affecting Halloween in this country. Just read this, one of the most popular Halloween masks this year is the Sarah Palin mask. Yeah, remember this, kids. If you dress up as Sarah Palin, you're not allowed to talk to anyone who is dressed up as a reporter. Stay clear of them." --Conan O'Brien







Republican-Shenanigans News


"A farmer in Ohio has carved a corn maze in his field in the likeness of Sarah Palin. The way it works? You you enter and suddenly realize you're way over your head." --Amy Poehler


Gotcha Journalism?


Gov. Sarah Palin said Monday that her comment about attacking terrorist targets in Pakistan, which appeared to contradict the position of GOP presidential nominee John McCain, was a response to a "gotcha" question from a voter...McCain, who sat with Palin, said in Monday's interview that he understands "the day and age of 'gotcha' journalism.



Sarah Palin OWNED by Jack Cafferty






Rock-The-Voter News


"The three presidential debates, I was not aware of this, will be held in three different states. Mississippi, New York and Tennessee. And fortunately, John McCain has a home in each one. So that's good." --David Letterman





Biz-Tech News

The Good News Is The 777 Point Drop in the Stock Market Is Not The Worst Ever!


Even before the opening bell, Monday looked ugly.

But by the time that bell sounded again on the New York Stock Exchange, seven and a half frantic hours later, $1.2 trillion had vanished from the U.S. stock market....But in percentage terms, it was only the 17th-biggest decline for the Dow, far less severe than the 20-plus percent drops seen on Black Monday in 1987 and before the Great Depression.






Bush Gives Another Speech



President Bush, seeking to send a signal of resolve to Wall Street and near-emergency to Congress, said today the nation's economy was facing a "critical moment" and that without a legislative rescue "the consequences will grow worse each day."

"Congress must act," he said. "Our economy is depending on decisive action from the government."

His remarks came a day after the House rejected the $700-billion bailout plan crafted over the weekend, and the stock market tumbled dramatically, with the Dow Jones Industrial Average posting a nearly 778-point loss.





"But the good news, the crime rate is down. Isn't that amazing? Less banks are being robbed. Well, sure. A, there's less banks. B, the banks don't have any money left. And C, nobody's got gas money for the getaway car. So, right there, crime is down!" --Jay Leno

Bush-Prison-Torture News




"The U.S. Mint announced this week they are redesigning the penny. Have you seen it? It looks exactly like the old dollar."- Jay Leno


Go-F**k-Yourself News

Hell Mars Freezes Over


Icy snow falls from high in Mars's atmosphere and may even reach the planet's surface, scientists working with NASA's Phoenix lander reported yesterday.

Laser instruments aboard the lander detected the snow in clouds about 2 1/2 miles above the surface and followed the precipitation as it fell more than a mile. But because of limitations with the technology, it was unclear whether any of the powdery stuff made it all the way to the surface.





I hope you had a good time today!


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Odd News



This picture shows a baobab fruit split open to show the pulp and seeds. Its fruit has a tart, zesty taste - some say like sherbet. It's highly nutritious, and might be imbued with the souls of dead chieftains. If you live in Europe, it could be headed to a smoothie near you. The baobab tree - thick-trunked icon of the African bush - does not look appetizing. But European firms may soon be using the pulp of its fruit as a flavoring for cereal bars or drinks, after it won European Commission approval as a novel food. Photo/PhytoTrade Africa