Monday edition - September 29, 2008
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McCain, Palin, Letterman and SNL - what a week
For McCain and Team, a Host of Ties to Gambling
US ambassador appeals for patience in Iraq
President Bush telephoned both John McCain and Barack Obama to discuss the current financial crisis. Yeah, the entire conversation consisted of Bush yelling “suckers!” and hanging up.
- Conan O'Brien
Death toll in Iraq blasts rises to 35 Hindu, India
Car Bomb Kills 17 in Syria Near Intelligence Office New York Times
Senate sends $612 billion defense bill to Bush
Where's Captain Jack Sparrow When You Need Him?
Somali pirates aboard a ship
carrying tanks and weapons that they have seized say they are surrounded by at
least three foreign warships.
One is the American US destroyer USS Howard, another is from Russia but the nationality of the third is not clear.
But one of the pirates said they were not afraid and had enough food to withstand a siege.
I listened to President Bush’s speech. I think I understand this whole economic crisis. See, rich people on Wall Street made a big mess, and they’re too rich to clean it up. So the rest of America, you know, their maids and butlers, they have to clean it up for them. You see how easy it is?- Jay Leno
Subtropical Storm Laura forms in Atlantic The Associated Press
A Florida congressman has sparked a big controversy by saying Sarah Palin doesn’t care about Jews or black people. Palin insists that’s not true and says Alaska has one of each. - Conan O'Brien
Bush Gave 4 Minute Speech at 7:30 am This Morning - No One Noticed
Bush is urging lawmakers to pass the compromise financial system bailout bill
they fashioned in marathon weekend bargaining, saying it is needed to
"keep the crisis in our financial industry from spreading" across the economy.
Key witness delayed in Stevens gift-giving trial The Associated Press
Schwarzenegger vetoes bill forbidding drivers to hold pets
Orange County pastors test the IRS rule against politicking Los Angeles Times
McCain camp prays for Palin wedding
As far as this whole $700 billion thing is concerned, they keep saying, “We have to act now. We have to act now.” This is like a bad TV offer. “Just 10 easy payments of $70 billion each. Operators are standing by, but you have to act now!”- Jay Leno
EMAIL CIRCLING THE INTERNETS
MY DEAR AMERICAN FRIEND:
I AM NEEDING TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.
I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 700 BILLION OF YOUR DOLLARS (US). IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.
I AM WORKING WITH HIGHLY REPUTABLE MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY IF MY POLITICAL PARTY WINS UPCOMING ELECTION, WHICH WE CERTAINLY WILL BECAUSE WE ARE IN CONTROLING OF THE HIGHEST SUPREME COURT. YOU MAY REMEMBER HIM AS A SENATOR AS LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S.
THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE. YOU MUST TRUST ME COMPLETELY AND NOT ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT THE TRANSACTION. YOU HAVE MY WORD NO ONE WILL DO ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE MONEY.
THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED YOUR BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTH PERSONAGE WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED. YOU ARE THAT PERSONAGE.
PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN AND THOSE YET UNBORN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THIS INFORMATION I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS WE PROMISE WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS AND PRODUCE A LONG-TERM RETURN ON INVESTMENT FOR YOU AND THOSE YOU LOVE.
MINISTER OF TREASURY H. PAULSON
Sarah Palin and witchcraft? Oh My!
In economic crisis, Obama offers Detroit a message of hope Detroit Free Press
Hillary Clinton: Obama will protect Mich. jobs
Obama: "No Welfare For Wall Street" CBS News
Soldier's mom defends Obama's mention of bracelet Minneapolis Star Tribune, MN
Bill Clinton to campaign in Florida WPTV, FL
Bono On The Bailout
As Congress debates a White House-proposed $700 billion bailout for the worst financial crisis since the Depression of the 1930s, Bono questioned why wealthy countries had not been able to come up with enough aid for the world's problems.
"It is extraordinary to me that you can find $700 billion to save Wall Street and the entire G8 can't find $25 billion to save 25,000 children who die every day of preventable treatable disease and hunger," the U2 lead singer told Clinton's fourth annual philanthropic summit in New York. "That's mad, that is mad."
I just rolled-over my 401(k) to my mattress. - Grant Gerver
Hong Kong's key stock index drops 4.3 percent
Central Banks Inject More Cash As Money Markets Remain Frozen
Cadbury recalls chocolates over tainted milk fears International Herald Tribune
To give you an idea how bad the economy is, Wall Street investors are now clinging to their guns and religion.- Jay Leno
Movie Critic Criticizes McCain
I do not like you, John McCain. My feeling has nothing to do with issues. It has to do with common courtesy. During the debate, you refused to look Barack Obama in the eye. Indeed, you refused to look at him at all. Even when the two of you shook hands at the start, you used your eyes only to locate his hand, and then gazed past him as you shook it.
A Chinese Muslim in Gitmo legal limbo Chicago Tribune
I was watching the news on television earlier and George Bush says the economy is in danger. Nothing gets past this guy! Wow!- David Letterman
Hillsborough farm serves as backdrop for painting gifted to Vice President Scarlet Scuttlebutt, NJ
Saturday Night Live - Couric Interviews Palin
I hope you had a good time today!
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Heather Locklear arrested
UCLA group discovers humongous prime number The Associated Press
North Koreans turn colored cards to form an image of a saluting child in
military uniform during a 'mass games' performance at a stadium in Pyongyang,
North Korea, Friday, Sept. 19, 2008.