Monday edition - September 27, 2010




CNN Poll: Plurality say GOP would do a better job fixing economy
Although more people blame the Republicans than the Democrats for the country's economic problems, a larger number of people think the Republicans are more likely to fix those problems, according to a new national poll.

Obama says GOP 'pledge' irresponsible
President Barack Obama is responding to the GOP's so-called "pledge to America," saying the newly unveiled 21-page document is nothing more than a continuation of "irresponsible policies."


A major Bush rule gets scrapped by Obama
It's the same Oval Office. The same desk. Even the same curtains. But President Obama has already made one major change: Go through eight years of White House photos, and you won't find one of former President Bush in the Oval Office without his jacket on.


"So two years ago America broke up with you, because you had badly mistreated her. ... And you come back rapping on our door, hat in hand, and you say, 'Baby, I know you love me. But if we get back together, I pledge to you, I promise you, I will still try to f*ck your sister every chance I get.'" –Jon Stewart, on the GOP's new "Pledge to America"




The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

Back In Iraq?


Iraq's foreign minister urged the United States on Monday to take a more active role in breaking the deadlock over formation of a new government, saying the nearly seven-month election stalemate has not only left the country in limbo but hurt its economy



Unveiling their Pledge to America, the GOP called for Democrats to work with them. And give them credit. Not a single one laughed.- Will Durst




Disturbing News


"Last night on Fox News, Sarah Palin said she would run for President, if nobody else steps up. Which explains why today, nearly every person in the country announced they were running for President." –Jimmy Fallon


Beam Me Up, Scotty


Aliens have deactivated British and US nuclear missiles, say US military pilots.

The beings have repeated their efforts in the US and have been active since 1948, the men said, and accused the respective governments of trying to keep the information secret.







Republican-Shenanigans News


The head of CNN was fired, as CNN’s ratings have been going down because they keep reporting . . . news. - Jimmy Kimmel




Taliban Dan


Central Florida’s heated House race between incumbent Democrat Alan Grayson and his Republican challenger Dan Webster is in the news again as Grayson, apparently as part of a more aggressive Democratic advertising strategy, released his own ad this weekend labeling his opponent “Taliban Dan.”
The ad, which claims that “religious fanatics are trying to take away our freedom, in Afghanistan, in Iran and right here in central Florida,” replays clips of Webster endorsing fundamentalist views on women’s submission when he spoke at a conference sponsored by Bill Gothard’s Institute for Biblical Life Principles (IBLP):


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David Letterman's "Top Ten Secrets Revealed In The New Bob Woodward Book"

10. Thoughtfully-written foreword by Osama Bin Laden.
9. In White House cafeteria, Wednesday is Taco Night.
8. Work comes to a halt during "Jersey Shore."
7. Joe Biden can fit 11 golf balls in his mouth.
6. Includes 20 pages of Woodward's favorite pit barbecue recipes.
5. Obama keeps staffers in line by constantly threatening to call Mavrikakis.
4. The CIA knew the Joaquin Phoenix thing was fake.
3. White House is haunted by the ghost of Dick Cheney.
2. Administration considered combining Iraq and Afghanistan into one big unmanageable country called "Iraqnifstan."
1. America loves dancing alpacas



Rock-The-Voter News



President Obama's approval rating dropped again. Things are so bad, Muslims are accusing him of being Christian. - Jay Leno


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Biz-Tech News



Forbes has come out with its list of the richest 400 people in America. No. 1 was Bill Gates. No. 2 was Tiger Woods' wife. - Jay Leno


Bush-Prison-Torture News


Bristol Palin has denied rumors that she’s dating The Situation from “Jersey Shore.” If The Situation becomes Sarah Palin’s son-in-law, he’d still have the most normal name of any boy in the family. - Jimmy Fallon



Go-F**k-Yourself News


Fall Fundraiser

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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo



A sculpture called "crippled hand" from Italian sculptor Maurizio Cattelan is placed in front of stock exchange palace in Milan September 25, 2010. Photo/Stefano Rellandini





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