Monday edition - September 27, 2010
CNN Poll: Plurality say GOP would do a better job fixing economy
Obama says GOP 'pledge' irresponsible
A major Bush rule gets scrapped by Obama
"So two years ago America broke up with you, because you had badly mistreated her. ... And you come back rapping on our door, hat in hand, and you say, 'Baby, I know you love me. But if we get back together, I pledge to you, I promise you, I will still try to f*ck your sister every chance I get.'" –Jon Stewart, on the GOP's new "Pledge to America"
Back In Iraq?
Iraq's foreign minister urged the United States on Monday to take a more active role in breaking the deadlock over formation of a new government, saying the nearly seven-month election stalemate has not only left the country in limbo but hurt its economy
Unveiling their Pledge to America, the
GOP called for Democrats to work with them. And give them credit. Not a single
one laughed.- Will Durst
"Last night on Fox News, Sarah Palin
said she would run for President, if nobody else steps up. Which explains why
today, nearly every person in the country announced they were running for
President." –Jimmy Fallon
Beam Me Up, Scotty
Aliens have deactivated British and US nuclear missiles, say US military pilots.
The beings have repeated their efforts in the US and have been active since 1948, the men said, and accused the respective governments of trying to keep the information secret.
The head of CNN was fired, as CNN’s
ratings have been going down because they keep reporting . . . news. - Jimmy
Central Florida’s heated House race between
incumbent Democrat Alan Grayson and his Republican challenger Dan Webster is in
the news again as Grayson, apparently as part of a more aggressive Democratic
advertising strategy, released his own ad this weekend labeling his opponent
The ad, which claims that “religious fanatics are trying to take away our freedom, in Afghanistan, in Iran and right here in central Florida,” replays clips of Webster endorsing fundamentalist views on women’s submission when he spoke at a conference sponsored by Bill Gothard’s Institute for Biblical Life Principles (IBLP):
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Also visit John's official campaign website www.givecongressheck.com
David Letterman's "Top Ten Secrets Revealed
In The New Bob Woodward Book"
10. Thoughtfully-written foreword by Osama Bin Laden.
9. In White House cafeteria, Wednesday is Taco Night.
8. Work comes to a halt during "Jersey Shore."
7. Joe Biden can fit 11 golf balls in his mouth.
6. Includes 20 pages of Woodward's favorite pit barbecue recipes.
5. Obama keeps staffers in line by constantly threatening to call Mavrikakis.
4. The CIA knew the Joaquin Phoenix thing was fake.
3. White House is haunted by the ghost of Dick Cheney.
2. Administration considered combining Iraq and Afghanistan into one big unmanageable country called "Iraqnifstan."
1. America loves dancing alpacas
President Obama's approval rating
dropped again. Things are so bad, Muslims are accusing him of being Christian.
- Jay Leno
Ads by Google
Forbes has come out with its list of
the richest 400 people in America. No. 1 was Bill Gates. No. 2 was Tiger Woods'
wife. - Jay Leno
Bristol Palin has denied rumors that she’s dating The Situation from “Jersey Shore.” If The Situation becomes Sarah Palin’s son-in-law, he’d still have the most normal name of any boy in the family. - Jimmy Fallon
Over halfway there!
Thank you Clay and John!
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To Help You Deflate Photo
A sculpture called "crippled hand" from Italian sculptor Maurizio Cattelan is placed in front of stock exchange palace in Milan September 25, 2010. Photo/Stefano Rellandini
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