September 24,  2004  TGIF/Weekend Edition

Republicans Admit Mailing Campaign Literature Saying Liberals Will Ban the Bible

New York Times -- 9-24-04

The Republican Party acknowledged yesterday sending mass mailings to residents of two states warning that "liberals" seek to ban the Bible. It said the mailings were part of its effort to mobilize religious voters for President Bush.



Ministers were told premier was seen as stooge
By Michael Smith, Defence Correspondent
-- 9-24-04

British officials gave warning more than two years ago that Iyad Allawi, the interim Iraqi prime minister, was seen as "a western stooge" who "lacked domestic credibility"...

Bush Plans Add to US Red Ink -- CBO Study
Reuters -- 9-24-04
... Bush has said his economic policies would cut the annual deficit in half over five years. But the latest CBO analysis says the deficit in 2009 would only be ...

Osama bin who?

"I hear the war for Iraq has cost us $200 billion. Did anyone think of just buying Iraq" -- Matt Bellace


Dave Casey


The Large Editor -



 Hurricanes might carry political fallout


Our thanks go out to the many All Hat No Cattle readers who sent messages of concern about Ivan the Terrible.

The worst damage from the hurricanes that have hammered Florida this season could turn out to be political.

Thereís been an infusion of federal disaster relief into the state, and the storms provided the Bush brothers with unprecedented photo opportunities to display their conservative compassion by shaking the hands of homeless and/or hungry people. That just might pick up enough votes for the president to actually win the Sunshine State this time around.

The prospect of four more years of Dubya is enough to make me lose my lunch, even if it is a delicious and nutritious Meal-Ready-to-Eat (menu No. 14, vegetable manicotti) passed out by the National Guard at a nearby school.

With four more years in office, the War President would have time to order the invasion of several more nations. His coalition of the willing for future conflicts probably would consist of staunch allies such as Lichtenstein and Burundi, but no matter. The Bush administration would go it alone if it had to, because if the rest of the world isnít with us, theyíre against us. Right?

With another term in the White House, the Leader of the Great Economic Recovery could further reduce corporate taxes, outsource millions of more jobs overseas, increase the record budget deficit and continue to shrink the middle class.

With a second term, the Born Again President could oversee the spiritual remaking of America. Prayer could be reinstated in public schools, but only for students who pray to the right God -- that being the God of the Right. The attorney general would be entitled to wear Puritan garb and sentence liberals, moderates and other offenders to burning at the stake, or at least to sessions in the dunking chair.

With four more years, the Eco President could finish gutting the Environmental Protection Agency and withdraw the United States from more international accords on pollution control.

With four more years, the Statesman President would have ample time to insult other nations, forget where they are located, mispronounce their names and those of their leaders, and generally act like a loutish buffoon.

So I hope Iím wrong about Florida and the potential political fallout from the storms. But I fear Iím not.

The United States needs four more years of this president like Florida needs another hurricane. And Hurricane Jeanne is on the way. 

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The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

"Republicans are now saying that Dan Rather should lose his job because he misled the country with bogus information. Which is odd because the Democrats are saying the exact same thing about President Bush." -- Jay Leno

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Disturbing News

Graphic By Sacred Remedy

On a tour of Massachusetts, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coastal area for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the shoreline of Cape Cod in his Pope mobile when suddenly he noticed a frantic commotion just off shore.

There was President George W. Bush struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with two men aboard. One of the men, John Kerry, quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side while John Edwards reached out and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious President Bush from the water. Then, using autographed Red Sox baseball bats, the two heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.
Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessings for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between President Bush and John Kerry, but now I have seen with my own
eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, John Kerry asked John Edwards "Who was that?"
"It was the Pope," John Edwards replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has all of God's wisdom."
"Well," John Kerry said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about shark fishing. How's the bait holding up?"

Build A Better Bush Fun !

Republican Shenanigans

Job Tracker. Just punch in your zip code, and you can see which companies in your area are outsourcing jobs overseas.

Biz/Tech News

"Of course the White House is doing everything they can to bolster President Bush's military image. Like today they gave him a medal for campaigning in the battleground states." -- Jay Leno

Bush-Prison-Torture News

Go-F*** -Yourself News

"Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums"

or click here for a great song

In democracy, it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

Kerry/Edwards News

"It sounds like the sequel to a very bad horror movie, but it's no joke. Ivan is back."
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

Odd News

Aerial photo taken in 2000 of the 4.5-km-long, so-called "colossus of Ruegen" complex in Prora, Germany. Ruins from the massive vacation resort built by the Nazis were sold at auction to an anonymous buyer for $768,000 (DDP)