Monday edition - September 22, 2008



Pakistani troops fire on intruding US choppers
Reuters India, India - 9-22-08
ISLAMABAD (Reuters) - Pakistani troops fired on two US helicopters that intruded into Pakistani territory on Sunday night, forcing them to turn back to


Iran moves closer to nuke weapons capacity
The Associated Press - 9-22-08
VIENNA, Austria (AP) - Two years? One? Even less? Opinions differ on how close Iran may be to being able to develop a nuclear weapon, but concerned governments and experts agree the time to stop Tehran is growing short - and the options limited

Risks seen for US as it freezes out Russia
Los Angeles Times, CA - 9-22-08
Nearly six weeks after Russia sent troops into neighboring Georgia, the Bush administration remains deeply divided over whether to retaliate against it -- and some officials fear the internal conflict is already undermining strategically important national security collaborations.


"The Dow went up 410 points on Wall Street. You may already know, the government has bailed two huge financial companies out, and today, they strongly hinted that they would bail the rest of them out, at taxpayers' expense. It's all part of a new approach our leaders in the White House and Congress are taking to the economy. It's called socialism." –Jimmy Kimmel

The fatcats get fatter


The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam



The newest disease: Grotesque Republican Evangelical Economic Disorder - Grant Gerver


Scared of the Stock Market? Invest Here!


Mr. Yakobi, the chairman of Iraq’s Board of Tourism, is charged with attracting foreign visitors to his beleaguered country. Jazirat A’aras, an island in the Tigris that is just across from the fortified Green Zone and the new American Embassy, is central to his plans. He is seeking investors who might want to spend $2.5 billion to $4.5 billion to build on the island, which was a honeymoon resort before it was bombed and looted in 2003 and then taken over by the Americans for use as a construction yard for the new embassy



President Bush doing his best to respond to the crisis. [light laugher] I love that that gets giggles. When that's not even a joke. - Conan O'Brien




Disturbing News

Pakistan Helping the Taliban? Aren't They Our Allies?


Pakistani military forces flew repeated helicopter missions into Afghanistan to resupply the Taliban during a fierce battle in June 2007, according to a Marine lieutenant colonel, who says his information is based on multiple U.S. and Afghan intelligence reports.

The revelation by Lt. Col. Chris Nash, who commanded an embedded training team in eastern Afghanistan from June 2007 to March 2008, adds a new twist to the controversy over a U.S. special operations raid into Pakistan Sept. 3.




Back in 1984, Sarah Palin came in second in the Miss Alaska beauty pageant. Now she could be vice president of the United States. You know what that means? For the first time in history, a beauty pageant contestant might actually bring about world peace. - Jay Leno







Republican-Shenanigans News

Meanwhile Back In The Western Hemisphere


A Russian navy squadron set off for Venezuela Monday, an official said, in a deployment of Russian military power to the Western Hemisphere unprecedented since the Cold War.



"Somebody hacked into vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin email account and posted it all online. Apparently, the hacker was able to figure out her password, which turned out to be bible-hockey-lipstick-gun." –Jimmy Kimmel




Rock-The-Voter News


“Supporters of Palin say it’s okay she doesn't know what the Bush Doctrine is because the average American doesn’t know what it is. But shouldn’t the bar be a little higher for this job? I mean, hey, let’s be honest. We already had an average guy as president. It didn’t work out that great.” - Jay Leno


Black and White Gap


Now, in what could be a historic year for a black presidential candidate, a new Associated Press-Yahoo News poll, conducted with Stanford University, shows just how wide a gap remains between whites and blacks.

It shows that a substantial portion of white Americans still harbor negative feelings toward blacks. It shows that blacks and whites disagree tremendously on how much racial prejudice exists, whose fault it is and how much influence blacks have in politics.



Biz-Tech News



We are entering a new chapter in the American economy. I believe it's chapter 11. - Jay Leno




Helping Hurricane Ike Homeowners


All along the Texas coast, Latino immigrants are hauling away fallen trees, slashing through storm-tangled brush, patching punctured roofs...These workers, who get picked up off the street by homeowners looking for quick, cheap labor, are helping to rebuild the devastated cities of southeast Texas.



The Bailout includes my credit cards, right? - Grant Gerver



Bush-Prison-Torture News




The crisis affected four Americans in a deeply personal way. McCain: The American economy is in a crisis. Obama: The most serious financial crisis that we've seen. Biden: The crisis that you've been facing on Main Street. It is now hitting Wall Street. Palin: Let me tell you something's going on today in our world. Particularly here in our nation that needs some shaking up and some fixing. Stewart: (long very sarcastic pause with lots of laughter) Did she win a contest?! - Jon Stewart


Go-F**k-Yourself News

Paperweight Terrorism


Officials briefly evacuated the JetBlue terminal at Kennedy Airport on Monday after a suspicious package containing what appeared to be hand grenades was reported.

The package was later found to contain
paperweights designed to resemble World War II grenades



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Odd News




This artist's rendering, released September 19, 2008, shows a planetary collision in the constellation Aries. Masses of dust floating around a distant binary star system suggest that two Earth-like planets obliterated each other in a violent collision, U.S. researchers reported Friday.

Illustration/Lynette R. Cook/ UCLA