Monday edition - September 18, 2006


Is war in Iraq a shield against attacks at home?
Christian Science Monitor, MA - 9-18-06
Bush, in his Sept. 11 speech, argued it is. But some experts say many Iraqi insurgents have local goals... "It's like in the Vietnam era, when they said we'd be fighting communists in San Diego if we pulled out," says John Mueller, a professor of national-security studies at Ohio State University in Columbus. "It's a preposterous argument."...


Negroponte: CIA tactics were `aggressive'
Chicago Tribune, United States - 9-18-06
The top US intelligence official acknowledged Sunday that the CIA had used "tough" and "aggressive" interrogation ...

Associated Press Calls On US to Release, or Charge Photographer
Voice of America - 9-18-06
The Associated Press news agency is calling on the US military to either charge or release one of its photographers, who ...


If Bush was a bird he sure would make a fine quail.



Church Bells To Ring Across The State In Honor Of Ann Richards



"A new season of 'Survivor' debuted tonight featuring the controversial idea of separating the tribes by race. The Asian tribe is called Puka Puka, the African-American tribe is called Manihiki, and the Caucasian tribe is called the Republicans." --Conan O'Brien






The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News



Papal Pap


An Iraqi militant group led by al-Qaeda has threatened to massacre Christians in response to remarks about Islam by Pope Benedict XVI that have caused offence across the Muslim world.

The Pope quoted a 14th Century Byzantine emperor who criticized the teachings of Mohammad for endorsing the use of violence, in a speech to an academic audience at a German university last Tuesday.


"The good news is gasoline analysts say gas prices should drop to $2 a gallon by Thanksgiving. The bad news? Turkey will be $80 a pound." --Jay Leno





Disturbing News


Popeye said to be resting comfortably while recovering from E. coli infection. -- Grant Gerver 



Bush Diplomacy: Cut n' Hide


Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claims he'll dog President Bush this week at the United Nations to force the U.S. leader into a face to face debate over Iran's nuclear program, but  the White House is taking extreme measures to keep that from happening...



Iraq's prime minister was in Teheran Monday where he hugged Iran's president and declared their solidarity. The Iraqis and Iranians are forming an alliance. President Bush has finally fulfilled his promise of being a uniter and not a divider. - Argus Hamilton, comedian




Republican Shenanigans


The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 260


Colin Powell wrote a letter to John McCain Thursday saying it's wrong for the White House to try to change the interpretation of the Geneva Convention. He said it would undercut the moral basis of the War on Terror. Both men are torture victims themselves, John McCain by the North Vietnamese and Colin Powell by his conscience. - Argus Hamilton, comedian




Rock-The-Voter News


President Bush held a news conference in the Rose Garden Friday. He insisted Congress pass his bill allowing secret interrogation of terror suspects. This White House thinks the Geneva Convention is when you open the bidding at four clubs.- Argus Hamilton, comedian




Biz/Tech News


An apologetic and remorseful Pope confesses drawing cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed.  -- Grant Gerver 


Bush-Prison-Torture News




Jihad Jesus Camp


An in-your-face documentary out this weekend is raising eyebrows, raising hackles and raising questions about evangelizing to young people.

Speaking in tongues, weeping for salvation, praying for an end to abortion and worshipping a picture of President Bush ..."A lot of people die for God," one camper said, "and they're not afraid."

"We're kinda being trained to be warriors," said another, "only in a funner way."




"Rumsfeld" doesn't rhyme with "prick," but it should.  -- Grant Gerver



Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. - Steven Wright, comedian


Go-F***-Yourself News






Odd News


Hawaiian Pete Cabrinha rides a 70-foot wave to win the title for the biggest wave ever ridden at Jaws in Hawaii in this undated handout photograph. The waves have been nicknamed Cyclops, Jaws and Dungeons and are the new life-and-death playground for a unique breed of surfers who ride gargantuan ocean waves as big as a seven story building. Photo/Billabong/Erik Aeder