Happy Monday edition - September 15, 2008

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Obama blames Wall St. crisis on Republican policy
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Active Role for Palin’s Husband in Alaska Government |
Clinton urges Democrats to unite for Obama-Biden |
Stupidity: Voting a Republican into the White House again and expecting different results
Sarah Palin belonged to a church where members spoke in tongues. What better preparation for a politician? - LaughLines

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
US military deaths in Iraq war at 4157 The Associated Press
Two American soldiers died on Sunday in Iraq of non-combat related ... Africasia, UK
3 from TV show found slain in Iraq
Gates foresees narrower US combat role in Iraq The Associated Press
Iraq parliament lifts immunity of Sunni MP over Israel visit AFP
Bush Emptying US Weapons Cache
The Bush administration is pushing through a broad array of foreign weapons deals as it seeks to rearm Iraq and Afghanistan, contain North Korea and Iran, and solidify ties with onetime Russian allies.
From tanks, helicopters and fighter jets to missiles, remotely piloted aircraft and even warships, the Department of Defense has agreed so far this fiscal year to sell or transfer more than $32 billion in weapons and other military equipment to foreign governments, compared with $12 billion in 2005.

Subject: Biden says Hillary would be better VP pick
I KNEW Biden, although one of my favorite Congressmen, would eventually say
something that retarded, and I knew the SECOND I saw Palin that we were doomed.
Unless Obama’s campaign comes up with something better than picking on Juan for
being computer illiterate, we are f**ked.
Remember, y’all, this is a nation that is comprised of people who found Dubya’s lack
of intellectual curiosity REFRESHING.
Jed


Disturbing News
Amid Rubble of Storm, Teams Scour Ravaged Texas Coastline New York Times
Typhoon Sinlaku kills 4 in Taiwan, heads to Japan
23 Indonesians dead in crush for cash handout
Engine failure suspected as 88 die in Aeroflot crash in Russia guardian.co.uk
More FEMA F*CKUPS
It didn't take long for the
finger-pointing to begin.
The Federal Emergency Management Agency
came under fire
Sunday as emergency workers were left undernourished and dozens of trucks of
water and food had yet to be set up at distribution centers around Houston and
surrounding communities
Palin Panic
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Obama’s campaign sure is fraying,
And the numbers are very dismaying.
If they don’t turn around,
You may soon hear this sound:
Dem agnostics and atheists praying.

Republican-Shenanigans News
Palin Draws Crowd on First Solo Swing, Hews to Campaign Script Bloomberg
With Palin in race, battle for young evangelicals grows Houston Chronicle
In rare swipe at GOP, Karl Rove says McCain campaign ad went 'too far'
They've already begun making the Lifetime movie about Palin: Gidget Goes To Washington - Grant Gerver
Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator

Graphic by Bob B
Thought Helmets

Soldiers barking orders at each other is so 20th Century. That's why the U.S. Army has just awarded a $4 million contract to begin developing "thought helmets" that would harness silent brain waves for secure communication among troops. Ultimately, the Army hopes the project will "lead to direct mental control of military systems by thought alone."

Rock-The-Voter News
Matt Damon Calls Sarah Palin “A Bad Disney Movie” TheCelebrityCafe.com
Obama Campaign Reports Raising $66 Million in August
Obama pulls back on events, but not attack mode International Herald Tribune
Obama cancels 'Saturday Night Live' appearance amid storm crisis
Union attacks McCain with TV ad on economy The Associated Press
Obama Waffles Leave Racist Taste in Mouth

Subject: This election and the next
Palin v Clinton in 2012 is going to be hilarious. Too bad I will be dead from alcohol poisoning and won’t enjoy it in the slightest.
Sam/NYC
Biz-Tech News
Oil falls below $97 on low Ike damage
Gas prices surge nearly 5 cents CNNMoney.com
McCain, Obama call for closer US-China cooperation
China makes first arrests in tainted milk probe
Joke Time
Working people
frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day I went downtown & into a shop. I was only there
for about 5 minutes, & when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking
ticket.
I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'
He ignored me & continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared
at me & wrote another ticket for having worn tires.
So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket & put
it on the windshield with the first.
Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus, & the car that he was
putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, 'McCain in '08'
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my
health.
Sent in By Phyllis and Dick

What does Sarah Palin know and when did she start knowing it? - Chevy Chase
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Documents criticize Canadian's care at Guantanamo

The George W. Bush Presidential
Library - a monument to his years in office, is in the planning stages. The
Library will include:
The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything.
The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.
The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.
The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.
The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.
The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first tour,
they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth
tour.)
The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun
gallery.
The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty.
The Supremes Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.
The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican
Senators.
The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice,
coins, and straws.
Note: The museum will feature an electron microscope
to help you locate and view the President's accomplishments.

Go-F**k-Yourself News
NAME THAT TOON - Send In Your Own Caption
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Stop the Swiftpigging!

Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
Odd News
Fey-as-Palin Wins the Early Vote On 'SNL' Washington Post
Taller people have the edge when it comes to happiness Reuters

An Okapi in the Virunga National Park in the
Democratic Republic of Congo. The okapi, an African animal so elusive that it
was once believed to be a mythical unicorn, has been photographed in the wild
for the first time, the Zoological Society of London (ZSL) said Thursday.
Photo/Zoological Society Of London
Peace.