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Thursday edition - September 11, 2008
Sex, drugs and oil? Republicans sure don't have boring scandals.
People are now asking the question is Sarah Palin ready to be president? If, God forbid, something happens to John McCain, is Sarah Palin ready to be president? I don’t think we need to worry about that because Bush has lowered the bar so tremendously, I mean, I’m ready to be president. - David Letterman
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
The Long Hard Slog
Warning that the United
States could lose the war in Afghanistan, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of
Staff announced Wednesday that he'd ordered a "more comprehensive" strategy
there to address the growing cross-border insurgency.
Well, as you know, the presidential campaign is coming down to one very important issue — putting makeup on farm animals. That seems to be where we’re at.- Jay Leno
Good News!
A pollster whose mathematical model has correctly predicted every winner of the White House popular vote since 1988 is banking on a decisive victory for Democrat Barack Obama in November.
Disturbing News
The Bridge to
Longtime U.S.
Republican Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska lost a bid on Wednesday to dismiss the
corruption charges against him, a ruling that clears the way for his trial
to start in 12 days.
Oh, this is so stupid. Did you hear about this? Yesterday, Barack Obama attacked John McCain’s policies, implying it’s more of the same by saying, “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.” Well, now McCain is demanding an apology. Do you believe two U.S. Senators arguing over lipstick? And neither one of them is Larry Craig.- Jay Leno
Republican-Shenanigans News
Top 10 Dumbest Sarah Palin Quotes, via Dan Kurtzman
Well, it’s a very strange political campaign. I mean, out on the campaign trail, John McCain and Sarah Palin are talking about how they stood up to the Republican Party, they fought the Republican establishment, and they battled Republicans. Their message — vote Republican. I don’t quite understand how that works.- Jay Leno
Ron Paul Gives McCain The Five Fingered Salute
WASHINGTON
(Reuters) - Former Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul urged voters on
Wednesday to support third-party candidates and
said
he had turned down a request to endorse John McCain, his party's nominee. Rock-The-Voter News
Meanwhile Back To Fundraising
A Silicon Valley billionaire
is playing Oprah to Sarah Palin's Obama, hosting the Alaska governor at what
will likely be a must-attend fundraiser for Republicans later this month. And as
was true when Oprah Winfey feted Barack Obama at her 42-acre estate in Montecito
last September, getting in to software magnate Thomas Siebel's shindig on the
25th won't be cheap.
Subject: Hillary
Hi Lisa;
Thanks for writing, David.
Just in case things don't work out in November, I'm stocking my pantry full of intoxicants. - Grant Gerver, comedy writer
Biz-Tech News
INSANITY: voting Republican three times in a row expecting different results.- Grant Gerver, comedy writer
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Dick Cheney told reporters this week there’s no reason why Sarah Palin cannot be a successful vice president in the McCain administration. In fact, not only can she shoot a lawyer in the face, she can field dress him as well. - Jay Leno
Go-F**k-Yourself News
Boy, did you hear about this? Rumors coming out of North Korea that dictator Kim Jong Il may be…really sick or dead. Now, if that’s true, North Korea will now be ruled by Kim Jong Il’s brother, Mentally Il. - David Letterman
Wild And Crazy Australian
The police minister in Australia's most populous state was forced to quit on Thursday over reports he "dirty danced" in underwear over the chest of a female colleague in a drunken late-night office party.
Stop the Swiftpigging!
Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
Odd News
Venetian
gondolier Vittorio Orio, right with white t-shirt, and his wife, in white
t-shirt at center, raise their oars as a tribute to the victims of the Sept. 11
terrorist attacks, on their gondola draped with American flags, in Venice on the
Grand Canal, northern Italy, Thursday Sept. 11, 2008. Banner in white says: 'Not
to forget the victims and heroes of New York.'
Peace.
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