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September
1, 2004 WEDNESDAY |
Barf bag courtesy of All Hat
No Cattle.
"President Bush now says the
problems we're having in Iraq are because we won the war too quickly. He says
the war was 'a catastrophic success.' He's also calling the economy a
'disastrous achievement.'" -- Jay Leno
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Today's
Breaking News From
www.BushOnCrack.com
Conan
The Republican Speaks,
People of Compassion Kick Some Ass
By TOM
RAINEY
New York City, Sept. 1, 2004 -- "People of Compassion" was the official
theme last night at the Republican National Convention as speakers explained
to the American public that war really is healthy for children and other
living things. ...
see the complete story
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"With the
Republican convention in New York this week — this is a true story — a lot of
delegates have been going to Broadway shows. Did you know that, a lot of them
are going to Broadway shows, yeah. When asked about it, a spokesperson for the
Republicans said, 'A lot of us are curious to see what gay people look like.'"
-- Conan O'Brien
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
The First Sofa News
"
… You know, no one wants to go to war. Nobody wants to go to war. Everyone wants
peace, and -- but I wonder, do those people [ Bush protestors ] wish Saddam
Hussein was still there? You know, do they wish that his torture rooms were
still there and I don't know. You know, I don't know if that's what they mean
with their protests; if they'd rather have Saddam Hussein still in power, I'm
not really sure." --
LAURA BUSH in an interview with PBS, making about as much sense as her
husband
TIME
Magazine: Do you think these swift-boat ads are unfair to John Kerry?
LAURA
BUSH: Do I think they're unfair?
Not really. There have been millions of terrible ads against my husband."
"My -- you never hear my husband say things that other members of other parties
like you heard people say about him for the first six months of the Democrat
primary -- and during the Democratic primary, and I know that it is a very big
disappointment of his because that was not how it was when he was governor in
our home state. Democrats and Republicans worked together." LAURA BUSH
Nursery Crimes
Laura, Laura, so like Barbara
what makes your little mind go?
Millions of snubs about your shrub
or purple hearts all in a row?
John Grant
Graphic by Oz
Disturbing News
E-Mail
Lisa,
Ran
across your site while googling.
Great
site but—
It is so
annoying that so many news links in the older editions are dead or you have to
pay for them.
I hear ya. But that is
capitalism exercised by the news organizations, over which I have no control.
I do try to link to
websites such as CNN, ABC, Guardian etc…who keep their news stories online and
free.
Sadly, speech isn’t always
free.
Thanks for writing.
GOP
Convention News
"But, you
probably know, it's been crazy here during the convention. We have had naked
people in the streets, we've had all-night parties, arrests, and that's just the
Bush twins." -- David Letterman
Republican Shenanigans
E-Mail
With
all the flag-waving and Swifty Boat antics still going on
at the Republican National Convention, I thought it only fair to offer
another article about Mr. Bush's military service -- or lack of it -- along with
some details of how and why he was able to get into the National Guard
when other men of lesser wealth were being sent to Vietnam to die.
I see where those compassionate conservatives in New York are
running around wearing band-aids with a purple heart on them
as their way of mocking John Kerry's service in Vietnam.
Read this article and see how childish that seems.
Click here
Alan Charles
Of course, Republicans want to
denigrate Kerry, his medals and his band of brothers, because Bush doesn't have
any.
The
bride-to-be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil."
The sales clerk didn't know quite what to say but she finally said,
"Frankly, madam, gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for
brides who are being married the first time, for those who are a bit more
innocent, if you know what I mean?"
"Well," replied the customer, more than a little put out. "I can assure you
that I am as innocent as the rest of them. Believe it or not, despite all my
marriages, I remain as innocent as any first time bride. You see, my first
husband was so excited about our wedding he died as we were checking into
our hotel. My second husband and I got into a terrible fight in the limo on
our way to the reception and have not spoken since. We had that wedding
annulled immediately."
"What about your third husband" asked the sales clerk?
"Well" said the woman, "he was a Republican and every night for four years he
just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be."
Biz/Tech
News
www.whack-a-bush.com
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"There
are a lot of Republicans in the city, but don't worry, they will only be here
until we are capable of self-rule, then they're leaving." -- David
Letterman
www.internetweekly.org
Go-F***
-Yourself News
www.buckfush.com
The Politics of My Trial
Washington Post, DC -- 9-1-04
By Ken Lay. ... He said: "Our joint mission is to bring
corporate criminals, corporate crooks [ie, Ken Lay] to justice in this
country.". ...
Kerry/Edwards News
E-Mail
Subject: Photos of the Bush
delegates on your site
Lisa:
These people MUST have to resort to family reunions for dates.
If nothing else, that would certainly explain WHY they're for Bush!
Ewwwwwwwwww!
Terry C
NJ
Odd News
This
artist's concept released by NASA/JPL represents the newly discovered
Neptune-sized extrasolar planet circling the star Gliese 436. (NASA/JPL)
Peace.
