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TGIF/Weekend edition - August 8-10, 2008
"Actually, analysts say a weak economy is causing less energy use, resulting
in falling oil prices. Yeah. Basically, the worse the economy, the lower the oil
prices. Which means if Bush could serve one more term, oil would be free."
--Jay Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
Blowing Off Treason
Ron Suskind's new book reports that in 2003, the White House ordered the CIA to forge a letter to "prove" that Iraq had a hand in 9/11 and that Saddam was buying yellowcake uranium from Niger for his WMD program with the help of Al Qaeda.
When this came up
on MSNBC, moderator Chuck Todd asked Politico's Mike Allen whether this would
lead "the anti-war crowd" in Congress to call for impeachment. Allen replied
that it would "give the lefty blogosphere something to grab onto."
"Since Congress went on recess, oil prices have dropped to $118 a barrel. That's, like, a $30 drop from the record high. You know, maybe Congress should take more vacations, huh? You ever notice, whenever these people leave town, things just seem to get better." --Jay Leno
Disturbing News
The Ultimate In Pork
Members of Vets for Freedom have campaigned for John McCain and made anti-Obama ads, but while they're in Iraq, you're paying for their gas, food and lodging.
"Well, Barack Obama and John McCain have both switched their positions on
offshore oil drilling. They both used to be against it, but now they say they
are for it under the right circumstances, like if it helps them get elected." --Jay
Leno
Republican-Shenanigans News
"Barack Obama still continuing to dominate media coverage. The New York Times
just did a big piece. They say that Barack Obama has been successful in politics
because he's a black man who doesn't make white people feel threatened. Yeah,
yeah. Which explains Obama's Secret Service code name, Al Roker." --Conan
O'Brien
Rock-The-Voter News
Hillary Campaigns For Obama Today
As Barack Obama
heads home to Hawaii for a week-long vacation with his family, his former
opponent, Hillary Clinton, will spend a little time campaigning.
"John McCain was at the big annual motorcycle rally in Sturgis, up there in North Dakota, South Dakota. Is there a difference? Can't we just wake it one big Dakota? And John suggested that his wife could compete in the topless beauty pageant at the motorcycle rally. Yeah! You know, what that reminds me of, is the time during the campaign that Bill Clinton suggested that Hillary should compete in a wet pantsuit contest" --David Letterman
Biz-Tech News
"Paris Hilton's mother is very upset because John McCain has put Paris in his campaign video. You know about this? He put Paris in his campaign video, and she's furious. Isn't that amazing? Of all the videos Paris Hilton has been in, this is the one mom's upset about?" --Jay Leno
Bush-Prison-Torture News
And according to CNN, Vice President Dick Cheney is unlikely to attend the Republican convention this summer. That’s when you know you’re popular, huh?- Jay Leno
Go-F**k-Yourself News
And because of this entire Brett Favre situation, which has turned out to be such a public relations disaster, the Green Bay Packers have hired President Bush’s former spokesman Ari Fleischer. So you know what the Packers are going to do now? Invade Iraq. - Jay Leno
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Odd News
A photo obtained on August 8, 2008 shows cans containing MDMA - ecstasy. Australian police said on Friday they had seized the world's largest ecstasy haul during a series of raids on drug barons across four states and in Europe in which 16 people were arrested. Australian Federal Police said they seized 4.4 tonnes, or 15 million pills, of the banned amphetamine stimulant that were hidden in tins of tomatoes and imported from Italy into the southern city of Melbourne in June last year. Photo/Australian Customs
Peace.
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