Tuesday edition - August 8, 2006



This Is Diplomacy?
Washington Post, United States - 8-7-06
As President Bush's foreign policy oscillates between "cowboy diplomacy" and "post-cowboy diplomacy" and back again, it's worth pointing out that it's not ...

Poll: Majorities Disapprove of Bush on Ethics
ABC News - 8-8-06
Nearly six in 10 Americans see lobbyist Jack Abramoff's plea deal as a sign of widespread corruption in Washington.

Red Cross: Israel Denying Safe Passage
The Ledger, FL - 8-8-06
The Israeli military has denied permission for aid groups to move food and medicine to besieged villages in southern Lebanon for two days, the Red Cross said Monday.


 Thanks to Grant Gerver for the cartoon idea!



The Middle East: a rose-petal-cakewalk-last-throes extravaganza! -- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press






Gee, I wonder when Ann Coulter will attack this woman?


Lizbeth Flores of Mission plans to join Cindy Sheehan’s second anti-war vigil in front of President George W. Bush’s summer vacation home in Crawford, Texas, for three days beginning Monday.

In early July, Flores lost her husband, 27-year-old Army Staff Sgt. Omar D. Flores, during his second tour of Iraq and has been looking for a way to tell the president how she feels about the war and her husband’s death.




The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News



"Yesterday President Bush flew out to his prairie-chapel ranch in Crawford, Texas, to begin his eleven-day vacation. It's not really a ranch. There's no cows or horses. It's more like an estate. But ranch sounds better. You know like when you call Iraq a democracy. It sounds better." --Jay Leno








Disturbing News



Mariel Boatlift II?


The Bush administration is preparing to help reunite some Cuban families with relatives already in the United States as part of a limited easing of immigration rules following Fidel Castro's handoff of power.

At the same time, draft documents obtained Monday describe proposals to discourage smugglers trying to sneak immigrants into the U.S. from Cuba, in hopes of impeding any mass migration. In addition, the plan would refuse entry to Cuban government officials who have engaged in human rights abuses but make it easier for some Cuban doctors to move to the U.S.



"And the Senate voted against raising the minimum wage yesterday, and Wal-mart employees are furious. They said we never would have come to this country illegally if we knew we were going to be treated this way." --Jay Leno




Republican Shenanigans


The Top 10 Conservative Idiots



Interior Designer Resigner


The director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives announced his resignation yesterday, six months after the launch of an internal investigation into questionable spending on a new headquarters and other items during his tenure...Sources familiar with the project told The Washington Post earlier this year that Truscott planned to buy, among other things, nearly $300,000 in extras for the new director's suite, including a $65,000 conference table



Bush is 2-for-2 and batting a 1000: civil war in Iraq, and possibly Lebanon. That ole "Mission Accomplished" thing keeps coming back like acid reflux. -- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press




Rock-The-Voter News



Middle East Explodes In Violence; Evangelicals Salivate - The Bilge Bucket



Don't Read These Books!

According to the conservative Human Events, the ten most harmful books of the 19th and 20th century are:

  1. The Communist Manifesto
  2. Mein Kampf
  3. Quotations from Chairman Mao
  4. The Kinsey Report
  5. Democracy and Education
  6. Das Kapital
  7. The Feminine Mystique
  8. The Course of Positive Philosophy
  9. Beyond Good and Evil
  10. General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money



Deutsch and Rush Limbaugh Inspire Singing Lawyer PR Web (press release), WA 




Iraqi TV


Jon Stewart, step aside. Welcome Ali Fadhel, rising star of Iraqi spoof news _ or so he hopes. For now, the 24-year-old is a popular contestant on Iraq's new hit reality television show "Saya Wa Surmaya," or "Fame and Fortune."

The show features Iraqi men and women taking on challenges in hopes of winning a contract with Al-Sharqiya television, which airs the program. Fadhel tried his hand at a fake newscast.

"Fame and Fortune" presents a different "reality" from every day life in Iraq _ no kidnappings, no killings, no explosions _ except for the odd cooking accident.







"President Bush traveled to his ranch in Texas for a ten-day vacation. The president said now is the perfect time to take a vacation when everything in the world is running so smoothly." --Conan O'Brien


Biz-Tech News



Children and Cell Phones in Iraq


The cool kids in Iraq all want an Apache, the cell phone they've named after an American military helicopter.
Even more telling are the text messages and images that Iraqis share over their phones...One of the most popular messages now making the rounds appears onscreen with the image of a skeleton.

"Your call cannot be completed," it says,
"because the subscriber has been bombed or kidnapped."




Bush-Prison-Torture News


Cyclist Floyd Landis has gone from being the "Toast of France" to "French Toast." With Bush and now Landis, the U.S. needs a Department of International Image Repair. -- The Buzz


The Sultan's Son

Once upon a time, a Sultan was blessed with the birth of a son after years of hoping. The boy immediately became the apple of his father's eye.

Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan said to him, "Son, I love you very much. Your birthday is coming soon, what would you like?"

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like to have my own airplane." His father bought him American Airlines.

Just before his son's seventh birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you are my pride and joy. Ask what you want for your birthday. Whatever it is, it's yours"

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat." His father bought him the Princess Cruise Line.

Just before his son's eighth birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you bring so much happiness into my life. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like to be able to watch cartoons." His father bought him Disney Studios.

Just before his son's ninth birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you are my life. Your birthday is coming soon. Ask what you wish. I will get it for you.

His son, who had grown to love Disney, replied, "Daddy, I would like a Mickey Mouse outfit and a Goofy outfit"

His father bought him the Republican Party and Faux News.


Go-F*ck-Yourself News




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Odd News


Hundreds of visitors filed through a Virginia Tech greenhouse to get a glimpse, and a whiff, of a powerfully malodorous "corpse flower" as it bloomed. The large Indonesian plant, whose botanical name is Amorphophallus titanum, began opening up about 6 p.m. Friday and was in full bloom by early Saturday morning. The plant emits a stench to attract decaying flesh-eating beetles, flies and sweat bees for pollination. Once it blooms, the odor lingers for about eight hours, then it takes several more years before the plant has enough energy to bloom again.(Photo/Virginia Tech)