Monday edition - August 7, 2006



Rice: Iraq isn't sliding into civil war
Houston Chronicle, United States - 8-7-06
... even sliding into civil war," Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Sunday on ... and questioned whether the US should keep sending more troops to Iraq. ...

Rice: Invasion of Cuba Is 'Far-Fetched'
Guardian Unlimited, UK - 8-7-06
... for democracy but is not contemplating an invasion of the ... illness, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Sunday ... because there are troubles in Cuba, is simply ...


Rice: Iraq Isn't Becoming Another Iran
ABC News - 8-7-06
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a news conference near President Bush's Crawford, Texas ranch, Sunday, Aug. 6, 2006.


We've been served Bull a la Bush on a bed of uncooked white Rice.



Fidel Castro was reported Friday to be recovering from intestinal surgery in Havana. No one doubts he's a survivor. During Fidel Castro's time in power he's outsmarted ten presidents, but it's obvious that it has gotten progressively easier. -- Comedian Argus Hamilton




The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

Dallas Cowboys star Troy Aikman was inducted into the National Football League Hall of Fame Saturday. The quarterback had a great career despite getting eleven concussions. Three more and he will think he can bring democracy to the Middle East. -- Comedian Argus Hamilton



Okay, I won't blame Bush for the Middle East meltdown. But, I will give him all the credit for it. How's that for a "spinjob?"  -- Grant Gerver




Did You Know Colin Powell and Dick Armitage Went to Syria?


QUESTION: Many strategists say that we'll never get to the bottom of this crisis unless the U.S. engages directly with Syria and Iran.

Why not talk to them directly about this and have a back-and-forth conversation?

BUSH: Yes, that's an interesting question. I have been reading about that, that people have been posing that question.

We have been in touch with Syria. Colin Powell sent a message to Syria in person. Dick Armitage traveled to Syria. Bill Burns traveled to Syria. We've got a consulate office in Syria.



Disturbing News


But we have a good president. I pray for him. Sometimes I'd like to pull down his britches and switch him, but I still love him." -- Rep. Ralph Hall, R-Texas



Hoping to atone for his anti-Semitic sins, Mel Gibson joins the Kinky Friedman campaign.  -- Grant Gerver


Rush Limbaugh's Ex-Girlfriend


CNN midmorning anchor Daryn Kagan is leaving the network after 12 years to start up her own online business.

Kagan, who anchors CNN Live Today weekdays from 10 a.m. to noon, will sign off Sept. 1. Her new website,, launches Nov. 13.

Her contract with the network was set to expire sometime later this year. In a memo sent out Thursday to CNN staffers, Kagan said the website will ``be an inspirational, online community dedicated to the radical idea that the world is a good place.''

Republican Shenanigans




Freedom Fighters


Journalism groups on Saturday decried the jailing of a video journalist and other recent court rulings pressuring media workers to divulge information to the government.

The news media becomes an information-gathering arm of law enforcement when journalists are ordered to give up confidential sources or unpublished material, said Tony Overman, president of the National Press Photographers Association.



"Yesterday Mel Gibson was formally charged with having an open container . . . and a closed mind. ... He could face up to six months in prison. Life, if he gets a Jewish judge." --Jay Leno





The Same After All These Years



Florida, in all likelihood, will never be able to offer the nation a spectacle quite like the loopy splendor of the 2000 presidential election.

But be warned: It appears those plucky little rascals in the Republican Party are trying their darnedest to re-create some of the thrills, chills and I-think-I'm-gonna-be-ills of yesteryear in this fall's U.S. Senate campaign.

Cover your eyes now -- and peek through your fingers at your own risk.


Katherine Harris buys an opossum. Really.


Rock-The-Voter News


Wild Wild West South


In the last year, 15 states have enacted laws that expand the right of self-defense, allowing crime victims to use deadly force in situations that might formerly have subjected them to prosecution for murder...the police in Clearwater, Fla., did not arrest a man who shot a neighbor in early June after a shouting match over putting out garbage...

They no longer need to prove that they feared for their safety, only that the person they killed had intruded unlawfully and forcefully. The law also extends this principle to vehicles.


The week before the elections, why don't we see who raised the most money, declare him/her the winner and deposit all the campaign funds in the treasury. Nothing would change except we'd help the budget instead of the publicists. -- Zing!





Good News


Tony Blair postponed his summer holiday to work on achieving a cease-fire in Lebanon, while President Bush vacationed in Crawford. Americans shouldn't be embarrassed. The only time peace is possible is when President Bush isn't working. - Comedian Argus Hamilton


Kosovo Music Video done to the tune of Kokomo by the Beach Boys from 1998


NOTE: The last line of this video says


Iraqi embargo

How it ends we don't know



Biz-Tech News


"You know what is really ironic about this? Mel Gibson may be the first guy in history to be in more trouble for talking while drunk then driving while drunk." --Jay Leno




Bush-Prison-Torture News



When All Else Fails Yell ANTHRAX!


The Allegheny County district attorney has filed a 20-count complaint against state Rep. Jeffrey E. Habay, R-Shaler, charging him, among others things, with falsely claiming to police that a political opponent had sent him an envelope containing suspicious white powder.

The political harassment charges, filed yesterday, outline a broad pattern of vindictive acts by the veteran lawmaker aimed at opponents who had questioned his official spending.



Cuban doctors said today that Fidel Castro is recovering and is in better shape than the next guy. Assuming the next guy is Dick Cheney. - Jay Leno


Go-F*ck-Yourself News




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Odd News





A floating bed created by Dutch architect Janjaap Ruijssenaars is seen in this handout illustration, August 5, 2006. The bed hovers above the ground supported by magnets in the bed and the floor and comes with a price tag of 1.2 million euros. Photo/Janjaap Ruijssenaars