Tuesday edition - August 5, 2008




S. Koreans fire water cannons at Bush protesters
The Associated Press - 8-5-08
SEOUL, South Korea (AP) — Police fired water cannons at thousands of protesters Tuesday as President Bush got a volatile reception in South Korea at the...


Marines ordered to stay longer in Afghanistan
The Associated Press - 8-5-08
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Pentagon has ordered roughly 1250 Marines serving as trainers for the Afghan security forces to stay on the warfront almost a month

Secret deal kept British troops out of Basra-report
Reuters - 8-5-08
The Times report said 4000 British troops were forced to watch from the sidelines from almost a week while US and Iraqi forces battled militants in the


"Some good unemployment news, President Bush will be out of work soon." --Jimmy Kimmel





The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam


Anthrax Update: Federal Bureau of Intimidation


One former colleague, Dr. W. Russell Byrne, said the [FBI] agents pressed Dr. Ivins’s daughter repeatedly to acknowledge that her father was involved in the attacks.

“It was not an interview,” Dr. Byrne said. “It was a frank attempt at intimidation.”

Dr. Byrne said he believed Dr. Ivins was singled out partly because of his personal weaknesses. “They figured he was the weakest link,” Dr. Byrne said. “If they had real evidence on him, why did they not just arrest him?”



"Yesterday, President Bush announced there are going to be some big changes in intelligence in the White House. Yeah, he's leaving." --Jay Leno





Disturbing News

CIA Leaker Update


Conservative columnist and former CNN host Robert Novak said Monday that he will retire immediately to focus on treatment of a malignant brain tumor.



"Well listen, Barack Obama accused Republicans of trying to make others fear him, because, and I quote, he 'doesn't look like the other presidents on the dollar bill.' So the choice is, do you want to elect a guy who doesn't look like the president on the dollar bill, or do you want to elect a guy who looks older than the president on the dollar bill?" --Jay Leno







Republican-Shenanigans News



Guess Where The Second Largest US Embassy Is?


A massive new U.S. Embassy, the second-largest in the world after the heavily fortified compound in Baghdad, formally opens in the Chinese capital [Beijing] this week, a testament to the depth and breadth of the ties binding the trading partners and sometimes rivals.



"And as you know, the McCain campaign is running that commercial where they're comparing Barack Obama to various Hollywood celebrities. And as you know, if there's one thing the Republicans will not stand for, it's electing some Hollywood celebrity to public office. Except for Ronald Reagan, Fred Thompson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Clint Eastwood -- you know, except for those." --Jay Leno


Rock-The-Voter News


"John McCain's daughter announced she's writing a children's book based on her father's life. I think that's very nice, yeah. The children's book is called 'James and the Giant Prostate.'" --Conan O'Brien



Biz-Tech News


Wal-Mart denied a report Friday that it had pressured employees to vote against Democrats. They said the report was categorically untrue, and besides, most of their employees are ineligible to vote anyway. - Laugh Lines


Deport Thyself


The United States began a pilot program on Tuesday that allows some illegal immigrants to come forward and schedule their own deportation, after criticism that stepped-up raids cause traumatic family splits.




"In a new report by the Center for Immigration Studies, researchers report that the number of illegal immigrants in the U.S. is down by 11 percent, and a lot of them are returning home. See, that’s when you know the economy is bad, when illegal immigrants are fleeing to Mexico for a better way of life!" --Jay Leno


Bush-Prison-Torture News



Go-F**k-Yourself News


"But I think the U.S. is going to do well, particularly in swimming, I think we have a very strong swimming time this year for the Olympics, yeah, that's right. Dick Cheney in particular looks great in the freestyle waterboarding." --David Letterman


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Odd News





British cyclist Rebecca Romero sits on her bicycle naked during a photo-shoot. Triple jumper Phillips Idowu, cyclist Romero and swimmer Gregor Tait have all been photographed taking part in their individual sports stark naked as part of an advertising campaign for a sports drink. Photo/ Nadav Kander