TGIF/Weekend Edition - August 4-6, 2006



Hillary: Rumsfeld should quit
Newsday, NY - 8-4-06
BY GLENN THRUSH. WASHINGTON -- Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, who has been forced to defend her continued support of the Iraq war to ...


Taliban `were too organized'
Toronto Star,  Canada - 8-4-06
KANDAHAR—One soldier described it as a well-planned ambush: stealthy Taliban forces formed a horseshoe around Canadian troops holed up in a tiny schoolhouse ...

Rumsfeld, Rice OK plan to train Lebanese army
Newsweek - 8-4-06
WASHINGTON - The United States plans to help train and equip the Lebanese army so it can take control of all of the nation’s territory when warfare between ...


Feel safe, yet?



Mel Gibson blamed his anti-Semitism on alcohol Monday. Tour de France winner Floyd Landis blamed alcohol for his steroid test. The Distilled Spirits Council just announced that President Bush's decision to invade Iraq could be blamed on sobriety. --Argus Hamilton






The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


9-11 Poll


More than a third of the American public suspects that federal officials assisted in the 9/11 terrorist attacks or took no action to stop them so the United States could go to war in the Middle East, according to a new Scripps Howard/Ohio University poll.

The national survey of 1,010 adults also found that anger against the federal government is at record levels, with 54 percent saying they
"personally are more angry" at the government than they used to be.


'War Tapes' unflinchingly confronts us with the cost of war
The News Journal, DE 


Disturbing News






Oh My God, Iraqis Support Hezbollah


Hundreds of thousands of Shiites chanting "Death to Israel" and "Death to America" marched through the streets of Baghdad's biggest Shiite district Friday in a massive show of support for Hezbollah in its battle against Israel.



Iraq refused the resignation Tuesday of the national soccer team coach, Akram Salman. He was getting death threats over the team's poor play. Ever since Udey Hussein's wood chipper was retired, the soccer team has had trouble getting motivated.--Argus Hamilton


Republican Shenanigans



The Brand New Bush Diplomacy

Russia and other UN Security Council members are unhappy Washington is blocking attempts to pressure Israel over its offensive in Lebanon, Vitaly Churkin, its ambassador to the United Nations, said.

Churkin told the Izvestia newspaper in an interview published today that the US position had weakened the position of the United Nations on the crisis.

"Discontent has been rising recently among Security Council member countries with the fact that the US is prepared to block any decision which would bring pressure to bear on Israel," Churkin said






Stephen Colbert Causes Chaos on Wikipedia, Gets Blocked from Site



Donald Rumsfeld refused to testify before a Senate committee Thursday about progress in the war in Iraq. He was swamped with work. All day long he had his head buried in the Oxford English Dictionary looking for upbeat-sounding synonyms for civil war.--Argus Hamilton






Rock-The-Voter News


Feeling the Heat of Hell, Pat?


Conservative Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson said on Thursday the wave of scorching temperatures across the United States has converted him into a believer in global warming...This week the heat index, the perceived temperature based on both air temperatures and humidity, reached 115 Fahrenheit in some regions of the U.S. East Coast. The 76-year-old Robertson told viewers that was "the most convincing evidence I've seen on global warming in a long time."


Last year, Robertson said natural disasters affecting the globe, including hurricanes Katrina and Rita that wrecked the U.S. Gulf Coast, might be signs that the biblical apocalypse was nearing.

The issue has divided conservative Christians.



Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice flew back home to Washington D.C. on Monday after her unsuccessful attempt to settle things in the Middle East. Her trip was not a total failure. She got Mel Gibson to agree to a cease-fire against Israel. --Argus Hamilton








Biz-Tech News


The White House press room closed down Wednesday for a nine-month remodeling project. The conditions had gotten cramped. There's been so much whitewashing in that room over the years that the paint on the walls is three-and-a-half feet thick. --Argus Hamilton


Bush-Prison-Torture News





Subject: The Flags of Our Sons



Hi Lisa,
I wanted to share this with you, I found it very difficult to read, something we have been shielded from during this war. Something nobody really wants us to think about. Like Rummy says, "we don't do body counts".
New Bern, NC

Thank you Sally for sharing a snapshot of how America is feeling about our troops.



House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi derided Republican scare tactics Wednesday. Some say if Democrats win the House this fall, schools will have gay history books. For crying out loud, the history books we have show the Founding Fathers in silk tights and powdered wigs. --Argus Hamilton




Reality Check -- Is It the Year 2006 AD Here in 'Merica?




“I was SHOCKED to see a giant breast on the cover of your magazine,” one person wrote. “I immediately turned the magazine face down,” wrote another. “Gross,” said a third.

These readers weren’t complaining about a sexually explicit cover, but rather one of a baby nursing, on a parenting magazine — yet another sign that Americans are squeamish over the sight of a nursing breast


I began laughing hysterically when I read the lead in this article. "Giant breast" "Gross"! Gee, I see a baby looking lovingly at Mama.


The Good News: Only a quarter of Babytalk readers were offended.


The Bad News: A quarter of Babytalk readers are afraid of breasts.



Go-F*ck-Yourself News




"Cuban dictator Fidel Castro is still in the hospital with a serious medical condition. Castro said that a half century of Communist rule seemed like a good idea right up until the point he was rushed to the hospital in a '55 Oldsmobile." --Conan O'Brien




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Odd News







A man steps over a part of the Moscow Panorama, constructed by over 300 workers in 1977, in Moscow, Monday, July 31, 2006. The panorama draws swarms of sightseers from around the world. But the company that now owns the 16-meter (50-foot) wide model of the city center said it doesn't have the money to maintain it, and has put it up for auction at a US$380,000 (euro 300,000) starting price. (Photo/Sergey Ponomarev)