Wednesday edition - August 27, 2008




'TIME IS NOW TO UNITE' | Hillary tells backers to get behind Obama ...
Chicago Sun-Times, United States - 8-27-08
"We are on the same team," Hillary Clinton told her sign-waving fans.

Clinton and Barack Obama delegates both waved the same blue-on-white "Hillary" signs and "Unity" signs at Denver's Pepsi Center as Clinton, dressed in a trademark orange pantsuit, implored them all to become one happy family after the bruising primary she fought against Obama.


Iraq claims success in push for early US troop withdrawal, UK - 8-27-08
The US has been vetoed from maintaining a troop presence in Iraq until 2015, the Iraqi president said today. Jalal Talabani said 2011 emerged as the

2004 Obama Interview Foreshadows 2008 Nomination
ABC News - 8-27-08
Four years ago, a Senate candidate from Illinois made headlines for giving a rousing keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention


"It's fitting that George Bush and John McCain will be appearing together in the Twin Cities because it's awfully hard to tell them apart." - Hillary Clinton



The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam



In an escalating war of words, President Bush on Tuesday urged Russia to reconsider its "irresponsible decision" to shower independent status on two breakaway Georgian provinces.

Already rebuffed by Russian President Dmitry Medvedev, Bush warned Russia to change course and respect the borders of its Georgian neighbor.

"Russia's action only exacerbates tensions and complicates diplomatic negotiations," the president said in a statement from Texas, where he is otherwise spending a quiet vacation.



"But here's what they got lined up for the Democratic Convention there in Denver. Nancy Pelosi will give a speech tonight, then there's a film about Joe Biden, then there's a introduction to Denver by Mayor Hickenlooper, and I'm telling you break out the dip, c'mon! Speakers include Senator Claire McCaskill, Senator Amy Klobuchar, and former Representative Lee Hamilton, cut me a slice of that!" --David Letterman





Disturbing News


Well, how about that one American female competitor who got robbed of her silver medal, huh? What was her name? Oh, Hillary Clinton. - Jay Leno


30% of Military Age Are Capable of Joining Army


The Army formally opens its first prep school Wednesday.

"It's academic immersion," explained Col. Jeffrey Sanderson, chief of staff at Fort Jackson, home of the Army's largest basic training school. "Our studies show that with only three out of every 10 people of military age being capable of joining the Army, we are going to have to do something different."









Republican-Shenanigans News

McCain Differs From GOP Platform


The Republican Party released a draft of its 2008 platform that differs from candidate John McCain on issues including immigration, stem-cell research and climate change, while endorsing his ideas for economic growth and free trade.


"Joe Biden is Barack Obama's running mate. Yeah nothing says change like a guy who's been in the Senate for 35 years" --David Letterman

Rock-The-Voter News


"The theme of the Democratic Convention is unity. Unfortunately they can't agree on how that works." --David Letterman


Meanwhile, Back In Massachusetts


Disgruntled Massachusetts Democrats have given John Kerry his first primary challenge in 24 years. That has him acting almost as if he still wants to be our senator. Almost.



Another New Orleans Hurricane?


Gov. Bobby Jindal said Tuesday that he will cancel his speaking role next week at the Republican convention if Hurricane Gustav threatens Louisiana.


Biz-Tech News


"The Democrats chose a place that is literally one mile above the American people.
I guess Mount Olympus was booked."
-- Jon Stewart




Bush-Prison-Torture News


Well, you know what’s interesting? Although Joe Biden is in great physical condition, the Republicans are raising questions about his health now. I guess he had a brain aneurysm a couple of years ago. Hey, you can’t expect every vice president to be the picture of health like Dick Cheney, O.K.? - Jay Leno



Go-F**k-Yourself News




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Odd News


Hydrox cookies, the first creme-filled chocolate sandwich cookie, began returning to grocery stores nationwide in late August for a limited time. This unprecedented reintroduction on the part of Kellogg Company, in response to impassioned consumer demand, comes in honor of the cookie's 100th anniversary.
Photo/Kellogg Company