August 23,  2004 MONDAY

Volunteer Links Anti-Kerry Flier to GOP

Saturday August 21, 2004

CRAWFORD, Texas (AP) -- A volunteer for John Kerry said Friday he picked up a flier in a Bush-Cheney campaign office in Gainesville, Fla., promoting Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, a group the Bush campaign has insisted for weeks it has no connection to….


Bush campaign aide resigns amid controversy over campaign ads
Channel News Asia, Singapore -- 8-23-04
WASHINGTON -- The highly-charged debate over John Kerry's record in the Vietnam War raged on Sunday, after a veteran working to help re-elect incumbent ...

Swift boat veteran backs Kerry on details of 1969 ambush
Boston Globe -- August 23, 2004.
By Glen Johnson, Globe Staff |  Supporting John F. Kerry's recollection of a Vietnam War battle that is a focal point ...

I think I read in the Bible where it was OK to denigrate a warrior's awards. 

“Kerry challenged the President to rehash their Vietnam service, and out of habit, Bush went bar-hopping in Alabama.” -- Craig Kilborn

Graphic by the talented Bill Tyler

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

 WW11 Vet Slimes Vietnam Vet's Medals

“But three Purple Hearts and never bled that I know of. I mean, they're all superficial wounds. Three Purple Hearts and you're out.
I think Senator Kerry needs to talk about his Senate record, which is pretty thin. That's probably why he's talking about his war record, which is pretty confused.” –- Senator Slime-A-Vet Bob Dole

Bob Dole is sounding as though he is suffering from the sad effects of Viagra abuse.

"But as I recall, it was Terry McAuliffe who made reference to President Bush as being AWOL. They dragged up all the stuff. I think there were 80 stories in the media about the National Guard. There's only been about eight or 10 on the so-called Kerry flap." -- Senator Slime-A-Vet Bob Dole

Dole is just a tad off on the 8-10 stories on the Kerry Flap click here for google results for 3,960 stories as of this post

Click here for the 234 Google results of Bush AWOL stories.  Dole doesn’t even lie well –- just like W.

Kerry spokesman Chad Clanton replied: "It's unfortunate that Senator Dole is making statements that official U.S. Navy records prove false. This is partisan politics, not the truth."

Click here for the Connected Dots of the Swift Boat Veterans and the Bush White House New York Times

You might be a right wing Republican don't see that "compassionate conservative" is an oxymoron and you don't know what "oxymoron" means.

Sent in by bethmanic

All Hat No Cattle is mentioned in the Sunday edition of the New York Times (8-22) -- although not in a particularly flattering light. AHNC is proud to be mentioned in the same article with Will Ferrell.

Click here for Full Story: The State of the George W. Bush Joke

Click here for the mention

And here is the link to Bush picking his nose as referred to in the New York Times article

Click Here

AHNC also made Dan Froomkin's Washington Post column, Monday 8-23-04

Click here

Disturbing News



Newlyweds campaign in Mexico
KLTV, TX - Aug 20, 2004
... George P. Bush earlier this month married Amanda Williams. They met while attending law school at the University of Texas at Austin. ...

FYI: George P. is the son of Jeb Bush.  Did you know that all of Jeb's children have arrest records?  See list below.

Top 12 Honorable and Dignified Brushes with the Law

§         Dick Cheney's first DWI

§         George W. Bush’s DWI

§         Barbara Bush, minor in possession of alcohol in Texas

§         Jenna Bush, minor/possession of alcohol (3 times)

§         Dick Cheney's second DWI

§         George W. Bush charged with disorderly conduct in 1966 after stealing a Christmas tree while drunk when he was a Yale student. The charges were later dropped.

§         George W. Bush was arrested in 1967 in New Jersey for disorderly conduct after a college football game. He was given a caution

§         Jeb's 24 year old daughter Noelle (4 pages) arrested for fraud at 1:15 am Walgreen's drive-thru in attempt to obtain prescription drugs.

§         Jeb's son George P. arrested (3 pages) for breaking into girlfriend's home and malicious destruction of property.

§         Jeb's other son John (Jebby) arrested for sexual misconduct in a Tallahassee mall parking lot during the days after 2000 election

§         Jeb's wife (Columba) for smuggling undeclared purchases into the United States (fined thousands).

§         Whatever earned George W. Bush a one year sentence of community service in Houston.

§         Neil Bush fined for his "ethical disability" in Silverado savings and loan investigation. Cost to taxpayers: 1 billion dollars

§         Neil Bush Trivia: Neil Bush made at least $171,370 in a single day by buying and selling shares in a small U.S. high-tech firm where he had previously been a consultant

And the Republicans spent 8 years and around $100 million investigating the Clintons.

Sunday Mirror, UK -- Aug 22, 2004
Tony Blair has snubbed George Bush's pleas to fly to the U.S. and pick up his "war medal" ahead of the Presidential elections. The ...

Republican Shenanigans

“Kerry did serve with distinction in Vietnam when he easily could have avoided that killing field. His service to his country shouldn't be diminished by the same despicable, politically motivated tactics visited upon Sens. John McCain in South Carolina and Max Cleland in Georgia, also Viet vets. This kind of gutter-bashing doesn't belong in American politics, and vets shouldn't allow themselves to be used as ammo for cheap shots at one of their own.”  -- Col. David H. Hackworth

Yale Puckmen For Truth


Subject: Wish I wasn't so poor so I could send an email to the donate address

Dear Lisa,

I am but a poor college student or this e-mail would go to your 'donate' address, with a monetary amount. Unfortunately, all I can offer are these kind words.

Since I discovered your website in April, I have been a Steady and Constant Reader. I live in the Eastern Time Zone, so I usually wait until the next day after you post to read your well thought-out and easily navigable web site. The 'toons and links that are provided on your page are insightful and show the outward results of the obviously keen and intelligent workings of the inner mind of a thinking Democrat, something which is sorely needed in this time of the NeoCon degradation of thoughtfulness and curiosity. You've also made a convert of one of my professors, a 72 year-old curmudgeon who caught me perusing your site while in class. I was about halfway down your 08/19/2004 page, to the picture of Bush "pulling the lever of off the voting machines" when I was caught. Professor walked up behind me, and he caught sight of that caption. I thought the poor old dude was gonna have a stroke he laughed so hard. First time I, or any of my fellow students, had heard Prof laugh. Hell, he usually doesn't even smile (this semester isn't the first time I've had him).

I thought you might want to know the positive effect that your website has on all age demographics. Thanks for having a free site so us poor college kids can get our daily dose of laughter medicine, and for making my grumpy Professor go easy on us (for a day, anyways).


Dear Chris,
Your e-mail was worth a million dollars to me. Thank you so much for writing.
The greatest support that can be given to AHNC is spreading the word. Thank you for that.
AHNC is free and balanced.
Keep your nose to the grindstone and party safely.

And for those who aren't poor college students and can afford a buck or two:

All Hat No Cattle

PO Box 5237

Navarre, Florida 32566

Good News


The Phony Fighter Pilot

Click here to buy this All Hat No Cattle Bumper Sticker from CafePress

Bush-Prison-Torture News

Biz/Tech News

"President Bush appeared with Arnold Schwarzenegger at a huge campaign event. Only in California can a Governor who speaks German and a President who can barely speak English try to make themselves clear to an audience that is primarily Spanish. What a country we live in!" -- Jay Leno

Voting-Machine News

Kerry/Edwards News

 You might be a right wing Republican if... protecting "wild life" means expunging DUIs and other misdeeds from your driving record.

Sent in by bethmanic

Odd News


You heard about the guy who got fired for heckling Smirk:
Here's the site for the company that fired him. I've written, telling
them how fascist this was; maybe other AHNC readers would like to do the
Joe W.


This drawing shows a swarm of unmanned planes. Alex Ryan, a mathematician with the Australian government's Defense Science and Technology, is heading a team that is working on computer software recreating insect swarm behavior for use on the battlefield. The goal is to develop swarms of small, expendable unmanned vehicles that can carry out missions in ground, sea and aerial environments too dangerous for humans (ADF)