TGIF/Weekend edition - August 21-23, 2009




Ridge Cites Pressure Before 2004 Election
Washington Post - ‎8-21-09
Former Pennsylvania governor Tom Ridge, the first director of the Department of Homeland Security, says that he was pressured by other agency heads to raise the terrorism threat level on the eve of the 2004 presidential election..


As vets await checks, VA workers get $24M bonuses
The Associated Press - Kimberly Hefling - ‎8-21-09
In scathing reports this week, the VA's inspector general said thousands of technology office employees at the VA received the bonuses over a two-year

Citizens want to know if SC gov can focus on job
The Associated Press - 8-20-09
Mark Sanford's supporters are asking if he can remain focused on state business during his final 16 months in office. In June, the married Republican


Wow, Tom Ridge wrote a book admitting he rose the terror alert level because he was strong armed by the Secretary of Defense and the US Attorney General on the eve of the 2004 election? I wonder what else he is covering his butt over?





"Have you seen what's going on with these town halls? I don't want to say they're out of control. But they're starting to show them on ESPN. I haven't seen old white people this upset since they canceled 'Murder, She Wrote.'" --Bill Maher





"Do you remember the governor of South Carolina, Governor Mark Sanford? He told everyone he was going for a hike and in actuality he went to Argentina. Now, his wife says -- and you can't blame her -- that she was so curious about the woman that her husband was having the affair with down there in Argentina, that she googled his mistress. And I thought, wait a minute, that's what got him in trouble, was googling his mistress." --David Letterman


The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam



Outsourcing Hit Men


The other shoe has dropped. CIA Director Leon Panetta, it turns out, ran up to Capitol Hill in June not simply to confess that the CIA had a secret assassination program it never implemented but rather to confess that it had subcontracted the job out.



"During his town hall meeting in New Hampshire yesterday, President Obama tried to make a point about private companies and the government providing the same services. He said UPS and FedEx are doing just fine; it's the Post Office that's always having problems. That's probably going to anger some postal workers but what's the worst that could happen?" --Jimmy Fallon







Disturbing News


"Obama said twice that the AARP supports his healthcare plan, even though the AARP hasn't endorsed it. He's probably thinking of that other senior citizens group. What's the name? Oh, yeah, Congress." --Jimmy Fallon







Republican-Shenanigans News


"And here's some optimistic news. Kim Jong-Il now says he wants to hold face-to-face talks with the United States. Now all North Korea needs is a big enough stepladder." --Jimmy Fallon




People b*tch and moan about taxes and spending. They have no idea what their government spends money on. The average voter thinks foreign aid consumes 24% of our federal budget. It's actually less than one percent. A third of Republicans believe Obama is not a citizen. And a third of Democrats believe that George Bush had prior knowledge of the 9/11 attacks. Which is an ABSURD sentence, because it contains the words "Bush" and "knowledge." - Bill Maher


Rock-The-Voter News




"These are troubled times, and we need a hero, someone unencumbered by politics as usual. Someone who could kill a moose with one hand and skin a bear with the other. Someone without a job. ... Yes! Like a ship slowly appearing over the horizon to an island of castaways, Sarah Palin has arrived with fresh food, clothing and that little box she keeps next to her bed filled with crazy." --Jon Stewart, on Palin accusing Obama of trying to create "death panels" that will kill her baby





"How about this? Brett Favre is coming out of retirement and joining the Minnesota Vikings. He's getting $12 million from Minnesota. Talk about cash for clunkers."- David Letterman

Ads by Google



Biz-Tech News


"Sarah Palin exposed the shocking truth about Obama's health care plan, saying that the America she knows is not one where her loved ones will 'have to stand in front of Obama's death panel so his bureaucrats can decide ... whether they are worthy of health care.' Bravo, Ms. Palin! That is the most powerful message you've written by throwing a handful of magnetic poetry against the fridge." --Stephen Colbert





"I didn't think this day would come. Squeaky Fromme tried to assassinate President General Ford. She's been let out of prison. She was paroled. Is she going to get a job? If you think about it, there aren't many jobs for unstable, gun-toting women, unless she wants to run for governor of Alaska." --David Letterman


Bush-Prison-Torture News


This country is like a college chick after two Long Island ice teas. We can be talked into anything. Like wars. And we can be talked out of anything. Like healthcare. - Bill Maher




Go-F**k-Yourself News


"It's been reported that former Vice President Cheney is hard at work on his memoirs. It's called 'The Five People You Meet in Hell.'" --Conan O'Brien







My surgery/second biopsy went as planned. Results early next week. Thank you for all your emails and good wishes! It helps tremendously! I hope you enjoy today's issue and best wishes to all for a lovely weekend.






"A company in Michigan is trying to make Americans healthier by sending out ice cream trucks stocked only with fruits and vegetables. It's not going so well, because all the trucks have been turned over and burned by angry, fat kids." --Conan O'Brien






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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo



In this image released by The Field Museum in Chicago, shows an Egyptian limestone statue, depicting an unidentified woman, carved during the New Kingdom Period, 1550 BC to 1050 BC. The bust has been the focus of interest since the death of singer Michael Jackson as visitors double-take at the eerie similarities between the 3,000-year-old statue and the singer. Photo/The Field Museum



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