Monday edition - August 21, 2006


International force urgently needed in Lebanon: Bush
Reuters - 8-21-06
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - An international force is urgently needed to keep peace on the Lebanese-Israeli border, President Bush said on Monday as he announced a ...

Hezbollah night-vision gear was from Britain, Israel says
San Francisco Chronicle,  USA - 8-21-06
... Israel -- Israeli intelligence officials have complained to Britain and the United States that sensitive night-vision equipment recovered from Hezbollah ...

Hillary's star is finally rising, says Time poll
Guardian Unlimited - 8-21-06
Hillary Clinton is finally gaining a toehold with American voters, according to a new poll that puts her almost at level pegging for the presidency with the current Republican favourite, John McCain.


Oooh, now it's urgent to pay attention to Lebanon.  I guess Bush is back from vacation?



How in the hell can we feel safer when the whole world hates us? That's feeling safer?-- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press



The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News



The Leaking Continues...


Anti-terror police in Britain have made an angry request to their US counterparts asking them to stop leaking details of this month's suspected bomb plot over fears that it could jeopardise the chances of a successful prosecution and hamper the gathering of evidence.



A boon to Hippies: new airline security measure forces female passengers to fly braless.-- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press


Disturbing News




First UnLady Quote


...the subject came up at an Astros game while he was talking to former President Bush and his wife. Barbara Bush, he said, asked: "What are they going to do about Westside?" Her hairdresser, McIngvale said, is afraid to go out at night.

"When the first lady says something about it, we got a problem," McIngvale said.

(Tom Frechette, spokesman for the former president, said the Bushes were vacationing overseas, so "I can't confirm nor deny" what Barbara Bush allegedly said.)



VOTE Joe Lieberman ~ Evanjewlical Demopublican for Congress.-- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press


Republican Shenanigans



Snakes on a Plane starring Samuel Jackson opened on Friday. Isn't air travel fun? Americans will stand in long lines, get X-rayed, groped, strapped into a seat and denied water if it will stop the terrorists from destroying our freedoms. -- Comedian Argus Hamilton




The Top 10 Conservative Idiots


Campaigning in a CIA Jet


The private jet used by Republican gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist this weekend for a tour of the state has ties to the CIA and the war on terror.

Under its previous owner, the jet was leased to the CIA to carry a suspected terrorist to another country where he was tortured, according to the Amnesty International Web site.

The plane's current owner is Stuart Lasher, a Tampa businessman and friend of Crist's.


Rock-The-Voter News





Gorbachev Speaks Out


Former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev said President George W. Bush should stop viewing the world ``from the position of a superpower'' and Vice President Dick Cheney should ``calm down'' and stop criticizing Russian leaders.

The U.S. should understand that ``leadership should be done not by domination, not by becoming a policeman in the world, but by being a partner,'' Gorbachev said in a Bloomberg television interview to air this weekend, the 15th anniversary of a failed coup against him.

Gorbachev said Americans ``should get rid of this disease which I call the winner's complex'' in the Cold War. ``The victory complex is even worse than the inferiority complex,'' he said.




President Bush vowed Friday to appeal a federal judge's ruling that his warrantless wiretaps are illegal. The judge said he broke the First and Fourth Amendments and FISA. Maybe he will do better in the polls as an outlaw than he's doing as a cowboy.-- Comedian Argus Hamilton


Good News


 Now You Wish You Had Built That Bomb Shelter!


There may be a slightly greater chance than usual that the world will end on Tuesday.

That, at least, is the conclusion of the eminent Middle East scholar Bernard Lewis, who raised the apocalyptic alarm in a recent Wall Street Journal op-ed essay.

In this doomsday scenario, Iran and its belligerent president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, loom large. According to Lewis, Tuesday, Aug. 22, corresponds on the Islamic calendar this year to the night in which Muslims "commemorate the night flight of the prophet Muhammad on the winged horse Buraq," to Jerusalem and then to heaven and back.




President Bush said Friday his critics simply do not understand the world in which we live. The president's wisdom and foresight often goes unappreciated. Sometimes it seems like he's the only one who realizes what a great job he is doing.-- Comedian Argus Hamilton





So Bushie says that leaving Iraq now would be a disaster. Yep, take
that $90 billion per year out of the economy and the economy's real
condition would be revealed! Locally, people are worried because of
Ford's announced temporary closings (we have two plants). And of course
the people that work at the companies that supply parts to Ford and the
people that haul those parts and the completed vehicles are concerned,
too. Unfortunately, our councilmen aren't smart enough, since Ford is
our biggest source or tax revenue, to postpone a new arena project that
we can't afford now.

It's also great to know that we're sending hundreds of millions to
Lebanon, since we appropriated the money ( we give Israel about 10% of
their budget every year) that Israel used to buy weapons and armaments
from our defense industries, many of which are owned by cronies of Bush
1. Just like in Afghaninevergonnastand and Vietraq, we pay the defense
contractors for the implements of destruction, then we pay Halliburton
to rebuild in those countries. Meanwhile the roads around this area
are going to hell, as well as much of the rest of the infrastructure.

Bushie's repeated attempts at humor about the reporter in the
seersucker suit reminded me of the joke about the man who was mad because he sent
his wife to Sears to get him a seersucker suit, and instead she bought
the suit at Cox's department store. Seems it would be appropriate if
Pickles did that.

Jack, tryin to move to Costa


Thanks for writing Jack. The good news is Costa has very affordable health care, and the bad news is -- well you pretty much covered it.


Biz/Tech News




Joe Lieberman led in the polls for U.S. Senate in Connecticut Tuesday. However, opponent Ned Lamont should win in a landslide. He's a preppie WASP with lots of money and no political experience, and Connecticut is the Bush family's home state.-- Comedian Argus Hamilton




Right Wing Wrongness


In 1959, Arthur Summerfield, Postmaster General of the United States, said,
"Before man reaches the moon, mail will be delivered within hours from New
York to California, to Britain, to India or Australia by guided missiles.
We stand on the threshold of rocket mail."

Bush-Prison-Torture News



The Chicago Bears announced Friday they won't subject their fans to security pat-downs at the stadium this fall. Not all pat-downs are banned. Before every snap of the ball, the quarterback will be checking the center to see if he loves freedom.-- Comedian Argus Hamilton




Go-F***-Yourself News 



JonBenet Ramsey's confessed killer was widely disbelieved Friday. He's just obsessed. If they are going to arrest everybody who's obsessed with the JonBenet Ramsey case, they're going to need enough handcuffs for three million cable viewers.-- Comedian Argus Hamilton





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Odd News

Brazilian surfer Carlos Burle rides a wave during the Red Bull big wave competition at 'The Dungeons' in Hout Bay, Cape Town, South Africa July 27, 2006. Photo/Howard Burditt/SOUTH AFRICA