August 20  2003  Wednesday

Magnet For Evil
New York Times - 8-20-03 - Maureen Dowd

WASHINGTON-The Bush team has now created the very monster that it conjured up to alarm Americans into backing a war on Iraq. ...

Davis: Recall Is a Republican Attempt to 'Steal' Election
Washington Post, DC - 8-20-03
... It started with the impeachment of President Clinton when the Republicans could not beat ... I will sign a bill this year that will protect your financial privacy ...

Terrorism leaves Bush policies in the carnage
Sydney Morning Herald, Australia - 8-20-03
The United States President, George Bush, was relaxing on the golf course when his mobile phone rang and his National Security Adviser, Condoleezza Rice ...


Bush Inc. sure brought it on.  And they brought it on with insufficient troops in Iraq. Afghanistan is a mess and we have 37,000 troops in S. Korea. Is he going to reinstate the draft?  Our troops are in more danger than ever.  And has Bush Inc. found any of the weapons of mass destruction?






Sidney Blumenthal and Zelda dancing the night away.

(AHNCPhoto -  TangoCam)

Email Zelda - Click below

Sex, Lies

and the

Chicago Rules



"Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and Presidiot Bush is from The Planet of the Apes." - Anita Beer sitting by the side of the road, getting drunk with the truck driver who stopped to help her fix her car.





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Sent in by BH48



Click here for the evil twin of Uncle Sam --Uncle Bam




Subject: Iraq and OJ

Is it just me, or does the search for Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq remind you of OJ's search for the real killers?


Jerry Davidson


OJ - WMD.  How appropriately those letters fit together.  Great observation, Jerry.  Thanks for writing.

Subject: Arnie Speak!

With the prospect of Muscleman standing for Govenor of California the state legislature has just announced that to ensure a level playing field in the forthcoming elections English has been selected as the official language of the election campaign, but with a few phased in modifications:-

In the first month, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond month,
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like"fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd month, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be  ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Kandidates will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth month, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz month, ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz month, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru!

And zen ve vil tak over ze world!

Alan Goswell - England


Dear Alan,  Great commentary. My sides hurt from laughing. But , Bush has sorta dun that thar anyway.  ArnieSpeak + BushSpeak= DumbSpeak, eh?

Thanks for the great email.  Say hi to the Queen for us and tell her we are glad she didn't allow the US to move our embassy to Kensington Palace.

Queen rejects US request to use Kensington Palace as embassy, UK - Aug 16, 2003
The Queen's officials have rejected an extraordinary request from American diplomats
to move the US embassy into Kensington Palace, the former home of Diana ...

Subject: OMG-have you seen this before?


Artist/Band: Adkins, Trace
Song: All Hat, No Cattle

See that boy standing there by the dance floor
He's lookin' like the Marlboro Man
Starched shirt, starched jeans, big trophy buckle
And an empty Copenhagen can
He's talkin' cowboy this and cowboy that
Well I'll bet one thing's for sure
The only stampede that he's ever seen
Is the clearance at the western store

All hat and no cattle, that boy just ain't real
All boots and no saddle, don't know how to make a cowgirl feel
Think I'm gonna tell him to pack up his act
And go back where he came from
'Cause all hat and no cattle ain't gonna get it done

He's just a smooth-talkin', long-tall slow-walkin'
Drugstore-made-up dude
So honey don't you fall for that fake Texas drawl
He ain't right for you
What you need's a man that ain't just a hat stand
When you get him home
Well, I don't look like much, but I can sure saddle up
And ride with you all night long

All nat and no cattle, that boy just ain't real
All boots and no saddle, don't know how to make a cowgirl feel
Think I'm gonna tell him to pack up his act
And go back where he came from
'Cause all hat and no cattle ain't gonna get it done

All hat and no cattle ain't gonna get it done

[  ]


Yes, I sure 'nuff have seen this.  I sing it every morning accompanied by the AHNC Big Band. 

I wonder if Trace Adkins is a republican or democrat?


"It's been reported that some of Arnold Schwarzenegger's opponents have been circulating naked pictures of Arnold on the Internet. Yeah, in a related story, Arnold is leading the other candidates by four inches." —Conan O'Brien


Roy Moore Appeal Rejected ; Religious Extremists Join Attention ... - 8-20-03
.Roy Moore's appeal to the 11th circuit has been rejected and a load of fundies have turned up proclaiming that God is insulted by the separation of church and state...

There's so much stupidity in Alabama right this minute that I'm going to have to raise the stupidity alert level to brick.

"My answer is bring them on."

George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 3, 2003

"You know, Joe, I wish Bush would just keep his mouth shut."



Thanks to Eric Zahler

Reuters Urges Rumsfeld to Probe Cameraman's Death
Reuters, UK - 8-20-03
LONDON (Reuters) - The head of Reuters wrote to Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld
on Wednesday asking for a fair and comprehensive inquiry into the killing by ...

The Chicago Rules

Get a bigger gun than the other guy.

Make up a bigger lie than the other lie.

Since you are already lying, add sex to turn them on. Wiggle your ass to keep them coming back for more.

Never take crap from a republican.

Never do time for your lover's brother.

When you see a republican, clutch your purse and walk to the other side of the street.

Focus on the list and don't waste time adding numbers or bullets.

Tell everyone you are a pacifist and unarmed even if it's a lie.

If you are lying again, don't forget to add more sex.

Always add potential legal fees to the cost of the deal.

Simply refuse to pay for stems and seeds that you don't need.

If you step on a republican, wipe the crap off your Doc Martens quickly and move on.

From Zelda Morgan's fabulous column Sex, Lies and the Chicago Rules

Draft Clark Ad Targets Primary States, Ex-general
KATV, AR - 8-20-03
Little Rock (AP) - Groups organized to encourage retired Army General Wesley Clark to run for president are running television ads in hope of building momentum ...

The Democratic Party of Knox County Tennessee

We have invited all the Democratic Presidential candidates to join us for this occasion. So far we have confirmed that General Wesley Clark will be joining us. Other guest will include Governor Bredesen, TDP Chairman Randy Button, Reps. Harold Ford, Jr. and Lincoln Davis plus many of our East Tennessee General Assembly members and other prominent Democrats.





Why men shouldn't baby-sit.

(Photo from Doc)