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VIEWER EMAILS
Subject:
Iraq and OJ
Is it just me, or does the search for Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq
remind you of OJ's search for the real killers?
Jerry Davidson
OJ - WMD. How appropriately those letters
fit together. Great observation, Jerry. Thanks for writing.
Subject: Arnie Speak!
With the prospect of Muscleman standing for Govenor
of California the state legislature has just announced that to ensure a
level playing field in the forthcoming elections English has been selected
as the official language of the election campaign, but with a few phased in
modifications:-
In the first month, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1
less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond month,
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
like"fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd month, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Kandidates will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth month, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz month, ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz month, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru!
And zen ve vil tak over ze world!
Alan Goswell - England
Dear Alan, Great commentary. My sides hurt
from laughing. But , Bush has sorta dun that thar anyway. ArnieSpeak +
BushSpeak= DumbSpeak, eh?
Thanks for the great email. Say hi to the
Queen for us and tell her we are glad she didn't allow the US to move our
embassy to Kensington Palace.
Queen rejects US request to use Kensington Palace as embassy
Telegraph.co.uk, UK - Aug 16,
2003
The Queen's officials have rejected an extraordinary request
from American diplomats
to move the US embassy into Kensington Palace, the former home of Diana ...
Subject: OMG-have you seen this
before?
Artist/Band: Adkins, Trace
Song: All Hat, No Cattle
See that boy standing there by the dance floor
He's lookin' like the Marlboro Man
Starched shirt, starched jeans, big trophy buckle
And an empty Copenhagen can
He's talkin' cowboy this and cowboy that
Well I'll bet one thing's for sure
The only stampede that he's ever seen
Is the clearance at the western store
All hat and no cattle, that boy just ain't real
All boots and no saddle, don't know how to make a cowgirl feel
Think I'm gonna tell him to pack up his act
And go back where he came from
'Cause all hat and no cattle ain't gonna get it done
He's just a smooth-talkin', long-tall slow-walkin'
Drugstore-made-up dude
So honey don't you fall for that fake Texas drawl
He ain't right for you
What you need's a man that ain't just a hat stand
When you get him home
Well, I don't look like much, but I can sure saddle up
And ride with you all night long
All nat and no cattle, that boy just ain't real
All boots and no saddle, don't know how to make a cowgirl feel
Think I'm gonna tell him to pack up his act
And go back where he came from
'Cause all hat and no cattle ain't gonna get it done
All hat and no cattle ain't gonna get it done
[ www.CowboyLyrics.com ]
Yes, I sure 'nuff have seen this. I sing it
every morning accompanied by the AHNC Big Band.
I wonder if Trace Adkins is a republican or
democrat?
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