Thursday edition - August 14, 2008

"Now we move to our anti-Olympic update. Russia has taken a commanding lead over Georgia! Trouncing the former Soviet satellite 10,000 bombs to one." --Jon Stewart
 

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

• US military deaths in Iraq war at 4,141 AP

• Bombs target Shiite pilgrims, police in Baghdad AP

• Three policemen, girl killed in Iraq attacks AFP

• Pirates attack British ship off Yemen's coast AP

The onslaught in the caucus is centered around the disputed South Ossetia region on the border between the two countries. And while Russia claims they have ended military operations, Georgia claims the Russians have made further attacks in Abkhazia. Oh, war. It just God's way of teaching Americans geography." --Jon Stewart

Iran Doesn't Have Spell Check

Iran's new interior minister has raised an uproar among lawmakers and Iranian media over an apparently fake claim that he holds an honorary doctorate from Britain's Oxford University. To back his case, he's shown off a degree certificate riddled with spelling and grammar mistakes

Disturbing News

• Man fired from job kills Ark. Democratic chairman The Associated Press

Meanwhile, Back In The "Other" Georgia

According to a news release by Searching for Bigfoot, a California based website, two men have not only found the corpse of a 7-foot-7, 500-plus pound man-monkey, they've also found a tribe of his brethren living at an undisclosed location in the north Georgia mountains.

Republican-Shenanigans News

• Once-Dumped Boehner May Fall Again If Republicans Lose in Ohio Bloomberg

• New House recess irks Republicans Detroit Free Press

• McCain considers pro-choice Ridge The Press Association

Colin Powell Is Not A Democrat And Is Not Going To Their Convention

Gen. Colin Powell told ABC News on Wednesday that he will not be going to the Democratic National Convention, disputing a suggestion made earlier in the day on the Fox News Channel by Weekly Standard editor Bill Kristol.

"I do not have time to waste on Bill Kristol's musings,” Powell told ABC News.
 

"Barack Obama said today he wouldn’t raise taxes on anyone over 70 . . . and McCain said Obama was just pandering to the youth vote." --Craig Ferguson

Anti-Hillary Democrats minus Hillary supporters = President John McCain - AHNC viewer

Rock-The-Voter News

• Va.'s Warner to be Democratic keynote speaker San Jose Mercury News 

• Adwatch: Obama blames McCain for Iraq, economy International Herald Tribune

Kerry Still Fighting The Swift Boaters

Senator John F. Kerry yesterday rejoined the battle with one of his fiercest antagonists from his 2004 presidential bid, launching a website to combat a new book highly critical of Barack Obama, his party's presumptive nominee this year.

With his reputation obliterated and credibility at zero, John Edwards becomes lobbyist. - Grant Gerver

Biz-Tech News

• Crude Oil Rises a Second Day on Lower US Gasoline Supplies Bloomberg

• BMW recalls 200000 vehicles for airbag fix Reuters

• Chrysler in talks with automakers in Russia, India Reuters 

• US Foreclosures Increase 55%, Bank Seizures Rise to Record Bloomberg

• Fire burns building at Apple HQ in California The Associated Press

California Money Problems

A federal court overseer asked a judge Wednesday to seize $8 billion from California's cash-strapped treasury to improve medical care at the state's overcrowded prisons....Kelso also asked U.S. District Judge Thelton Henderson to hold Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and the state's controller in contempt of court if they don't allocate the money soon.

More and more Republicans are coming out in support of Barak O’Bama. They are saying among other things that Senator O’Bama is the smarter of the two presidential candidates. Well, if even a Republican can figure out that the guy who nearly graduated at the bottom of his class might not be as smart as the guy who edited the Harvard Law Review, there may just be hope for this country yet. - Laugh Lines

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• Guantanamo general slams bullying, 'spray and pray' approach AFP

Georgia and NASA?

U.S. Sen. Bill Nelson said he fears Russia's aggressive action against Georgia may have some serious consequences on the American space program.

A real identity crisis is identifying yourself as an Obama Republican. - Anon AHNC viewer

Go-F**k-Yourself News

• Cheney visits Camp Pendleton San Diego Union Tribune

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Odd News

• Group gives thanks to the Lord -- for lower gasoline prices Los Angeles Times

• Lawmen say they saw mythical Texas animal United Press International

• Top dishonors in writing go to Washington man AP

• Doctors debate when to declare organ donors dead AP

• Ohio man buys new truck with thousands of coins AP

• Fake coyotes fooling the motorists, not the geese AP

Television cooking personality Julia Child prepares a French delicacy in her cooking studio in 1970 file. Child shared a secret with U.S. Supreme Court Justice Arthur Goldberg and Chicago White Sox catcher Moe Berg at a time when the Nazis threatened the world. They served in an international spy ring managed by the Office of Strategic Services, an early version of the CIA created in World War II by President Franklin Roosevelt. The secret comes out Thursday, Aug. 14, 2008, all of the names and previously classified files identifying nearly 24,000 spies who formed the U.S.'s first centralized intelligence effort. The National Archives will make available for the first time all 750,000 pages identifying the vast spy network of military and civilian operatives. Photo/National Archives

Peace.