Monday edition - August 14, 2006



Bush's 'Islamic fascists' remark sparks ire
ISN, Switzerland - 8-14-06
Bush's use of the phrase has not gone unnoticed in the Muslim world - where any joining of the words has long been controversial.

The Islamabad-based newspaper "Ausaf" writes that the words are an "insult to the religion" of Islam. The high-circulation Urdu-language daily added that "at a time when Washington gives full support to Israel in its fight against Lebanon, such words only harm the United States' reputation in the Islamic world - a reputation that is already decreasing day by day."

Muslim groups in the United States have been equally critical.


Pace: Bigger US Force May Stabilize Iraq
Washington Post, United States - 8-14-06
Iraq could be stabilized faster if the United States increased the size of its force, but the costs would outweigh the benefits, the chairman of the US Joint Chiefs of Staff said Sunday.

Iran, Iraq discuss oil deal
AME Info, United Arab Emirates - 8-14-06
Iran and Iraq's Oil Ministers have discussed a possible oil deal by which Iran would provide its neighbour with refined products in exchange for a supply of Iraqi crude, reported the Gulf Times, citing the IRNA.


Well, well, well -- it's looks like the "Islamic fascists" in Iran will be helped by their mortal enemy Iraq by trading oil products.  George Bush finally united something.



Airline officials concede the only safe way to fly is with anesthetized passengers. .-- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press




The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News




Oh my God, I hope no terrorists are reading this, but what if they were to ingest explosives, board the plane, and then jump up and down mid-flight?! .-- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press



"Look Over There" Maneuver


As the British terror plot was unfolding, the Bush administration quietly tried to take away $6 million that was supposed to be spent this year developing new explosives detection technology. Congressional leaders rejected the idea, the latest in a series of Homeland Security Department steps that have left lawmakers and some of the department's own experts questioning the commitment to create better anti-terror technologies



"Come on, George, it wasn't my dad who told you to invade Iraq. It was your dad". --Jason Kavan, a comedian who impersonates Jesus



Lou Dobbs Wakes Up to 9/11 Lies -- YouTube


Disturbing News


The cost of the war in Iraq, $400 billion, equals $8,510.64 for each of the 47 million Americans who do not have health insurance. -- Zing!


So, not only is Amazing Grace George Dubya's favorite hymn, but it actually reduces the poor sensitive lad to tears. Do you think my new set of lyrics will make Bush cry too?

Amazing Disgrace (To be sung to the tune of Amazing Grace)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Our Bill of Rights, how sweet the sound.
It's kept our people free.
Alas, we're lost, cause Dub's unbound.
He flouts it joyfully.

Our founders told us to beware
The blight of tyranny.
Bush-Cheney threaten rights held dear.
It's time to dump some tea. ...

The rest of Amazing Grace is here:  and the song parodies are collected here:



Real bad news: "Terrorism for Dummies" is published. .-- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press





Lieberman and Cheney on Attack


"My God, here we have a terrorist threat against hearth and home, and the very first thing that comes out of their mind is how can we turn this to partisan advantage. I find that offensive," Lamont said in an interview Sunday with The Associated Press.

After British officials disclosed Thursday that they had stopped a terrorist airline bombing plot, Lieberman warned that Lamont's call for a phased withdrawal of troops from Iraq would be "taken as a tremendous victory" by terrorists.

Cheney suggested Wednesday that Lamont's victory might encourage "the al-Qaida types" who want to "break the will of the American people in terms of our ability to stay in the fight and complete the task."




A Radio Message from George W. Bush


Dear terrorized citizenry,

As you have seen on the television news this past week, another terror plot was launched against civilization by the Enemies of Freedom, and once again America was there to stop them. Actually, we were not there. But we would have been, if only we had had the up-to-date science to make such terror-fighting possible.

In my Weekly Radio Address today, I unveil an exciting new “biotechnology” that could help me stop terror wherever it happens anywhere in the world. You can listen to my very important message from the computers:



It is shameful that U.S. Mideast foreign policy is made in Jerusalem and Cuban policy is made in Miami.-- Zing!





Republican Shenanigans




In a stunning loss Tuesday, Senator Joe Lieberman lost his own party's endorsement. I think Lieberman is in denial. Like today, he blamed the primary election loss on his naturally high level of testosterone! -- Jay Leno



Oh, Those Compassionate Conservatives!


A protester staked out the home of a Muslim candidate for the Maryland House of Delegates, holding a sign and wearing a T-shirt that mocked Islam.

Timothy Truett sat in a folding chair Saturday on the cul-de-sac outside Saqib Ali's home in Gaithersburg with a sign reading "Islam sucks," and a shirt with the slogan, "This mind is an Allah-free zone."




This undated handout photo released by Rapiscan Systems shows the Rapiscan Secure 1000 Explosives and Weapons Detection People Screening System. This system inspects passengers for metallic and non-metallic weapons, solid explosives, liquids, and other contraband using low energy X-rays. Rapiscan is developing four kinds of devices _ some based on technologies more than 10 years old _ that can detect liquid or gel-based explosives. Two that would work on carry-on bags already have been tested by the Transportation Security Administration and 'could be deployed this afternoon,' said Peter Kant, the company's vice president for government affairs. (Photo/Rapiscan Systems)




Biz-Tech News


Drop That Machete!



 A 32-year-old woman wielding a machete was arrested Sunday outside the White House, the Secret Service said.

Spokeswoman Kim Bruce said Ashwak Saleh was taken into custody and charged with possession of a prohibited weapon after she displayed a 13-inch machete on the sidewalk outside the White House...The witnesses said passersby then alerted Secret Service officers, one of whom approached the woman and told her to "Drop the blade."

To that, Saleh said, "What are you going to do -- shoot me?"



The British Petroleum Oil Company -- the ones responsible for us not getting any more oil from Alaska -- are now being accused of ruining the environment and putting people at risk just to boost oil profits. This, of course, makes them eligible for 'Oil Company of the Year.' -- Jay Leno

Bush-Prison-Torture News


George W. Bush: "Freedoms' Abortionist" .-- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press


Dick Cheney said Wednesday Joe Lieberman's election defeat in Connecticut last week gave encouragement to terrorists. The vice president shouldn't be allowed near a microphone. He is safer with a shotgun in his hands and the sun in his eyes. -- Comedian Argus Hamilton




Tom Ridge Disagrees with Cheney


Dick Cheney, darkly warned that the Connecticut primary victory of antiwar candidate Ned Lamont over Sen. Joseph Lieberman would only encourage "Al Qaeda types." (Interviewed by NEWSWEEK, former Homeland Security secretary Tom Ridge bridled at his former colleague's remark: "That may be the way the vice president sees it," he said, "but I don't see it that way, and I don't think most Americans see it that way.")


Go-F*ck-Yourself News


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In this photo released by China's Xinhua News Agency, two tigers paddle in a pool to enjoy coolness at the Hongshan Forest Zoo in Nanjing, capital of east China's Jiangsu Province Sunday, Aug. 13, 2006. The highest temperature reached 37 degrees Centigrade (98.6 degrees Fahrenheit) in Nanjing Sunday. (Photo/Xinhua, Wang Xin)