Monday edition - August 14, 2006

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Bush's 'Islamic fascists' remark sparks ire |
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Pace: Bigger US Force May Stabilize Iraq |
Iran, Iraq discuss oil deal |
Well, well, well -- it's looks like the "Islamic fascists" in Iran will be helped by their mortal enemy Iraq by trading oil products. George Bush finally united something.
Airline officials concede the only safe way to fly is with anesthetized passengers. .-- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Bodies found in a grate Edmonton Sun, Canada
Bomb blast in Afghan capital wounds NATO soldiers Washington Post
30 dead in clashes in Afghanistan; education chief forms safety ... Boston Globe
Iraq raids 'capture kidnap gang' CNN International
US Denies Role in Attacking Hezbollah Los Angeles Times, CA
US journalist 'begged Iraq captors to end life with gun'
Oh my God, I hope no terrorists are reading this, but what if they were to ingest explosives, board the plane, and then jump up and down mid-flight?! .-- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press
"Look Over There" Maneuver
As the British terror plot was unfolding, the Bush administration quietly tried to take away $6 million that was supposed to be spent this year developing new explosives detection technology. Congressional leaders rejected the idea, the latest in a series of Homeland Security Department steps that have left lawmakers and some of the department's own experts questioning the commitment to create better anti-terror technologies
"Come on, George, it wasn't my dad who told you to invade Iraq. It was your dad". --Jason Kavan, a comedian who impersonates Jesus

Lou Dobbs Wakes Up to 9/11 Lies -- YouTube
Disturbing News
Study: Greenland Ice Shrinking Quickly Discovery Channel
China drought leaves 17 million without water: media Reuters
Three face terror charges after 1,000 cell phones seized CNN
Pa. Guard member dies while on duty at Arizona-Mexico border
The cost of the war in Iraq, $400 billion, equals $8,510.64 for each of the 47 million Americans who do not have health insurance. -- Zing!
So, not only is Amazing Grace George Dubya's favorite hymn, but it
actually reduces the poor sensitive lad to tears. Do you think my new set of
lyrics will make Bush cry too?
Real bad news: "Terrorism for Dummies" is published. .-- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press

Lieberman and Cheney on Attack
"My God, here we have a terrorist threat
against hearth and home, and the very first thing that comes out of their
mind is how can we turn this to partisan advantage. I find that
offensive," Lamont said in an interview Sunday with The Associated Press.
After British officials disclosed Thursday that they had stopped a
terrorist airline bombing plot, Lieberman warned that Lamont's call for a
phased withdrawal of troops from Iraq would be "taken as a tremendous
victory" by terrorists.
Cheney suggested Wednesday that Lamont's victory might encourage "the al-Qaida
types" who want to "break the will of the American people in terms of
our ability to stay in the fight and complete the task."
A Radio Message from George W. Bush
Dear terrorized citizenry,
As you have seen on the television news this past week, another terror plot was
launched against civilization by the Enemies of Freedom, and once again America
was there to stop them. Actually, we were not there. But we would have been, if
only we had had the up-to-date science to make such terror-fighting possible.
In my Weekly Radio Address today, I unveil an exciting new “biotechnology” that
could help me stop terror wherever it happens anywhere in the world. You can
listen to my very important message from the computers:
http://weeklyradioaddress.com/WRA20060812.htm
It is shameful that U.S. Mideast foreign policy is made in Jerusalem and Cuban policy is made in Miami.-- Zing!

Republican Shenanigans
Santorum says NSA leakers committed treason Philadelphia Inquirer, PA
Santorum gets little notice at some campaign stops Patriot-News, PA
Americans Less Likely To Accept Evolution Than Europeans Playfuls.com, Romania
Republican vs. Republican: A cellular division St. Petersburg Times
In a stunning loss Tuesday, Senator Joe Lieberman lost his own party's endorsement. I think Lieberman is in denial. Like today, he blamed the primary election loss on his naturally high level of testosterone! -- Jay Leno
Oh, Those Compassionate Conservatives!
A protester staked out the home of a Muslim candidate for the Maryland House of Delegates, holding a sign and wearing a T-shirt that mocked Islam.
Timothy Truett sat in a folding chair Saturday on the cul-de-sac outside Saqib Ali's home in Gaithersburg with a sign reading "Islam sucks," and a shirt with the slogan, "This mind is an Allah-free zone."

This undated handout photo released by Rapiscan Systems shows the Rapiscan Secure 1000 Explosives and Weapons Detection People Screening System. This system inspects passengers for metallic and non-metallic weapons, solid explosives, liquids, and other contraband using low energy X-rays. Rapiscan is developing four kinds of devices _ some based on technologies more than 10 years old _ that can detect liquid or gel-based explosives. Two that would work on carry-on bags already have been tested by the Transportation Security Administration and 'could be deployed this afternoon,' said Peter Kant, the company's vice president for government affairs. (Photo/Rapiscan Systems)
Biz-Tech News
Oil drops 1 pct on Mideast truce, Prudhoe Bay flow Boston Globe
Mobile phones banned on UK flights ABC Online
Dell in hot water in China...again Digital World Tokyo
The 25 Greatest PCs of All Time
Major Computer Attack Coming? ABC News
Drop That Machete!
A 32-year-old woman wielding
a machete was arrested Sunday outside the White House, the Secret Service
said.
Spokeswoman Kim Bruce said Ashwak Saleh was taken into custody and charged
with possession of a prohibited weapon after she displayed a 13-inch
machete on the sidewalk outside the White House...The witnesses said
passersby then alerted Secret Service officers, one of whom approached the
woman and told her to "Drop the blade."
To that, Saleh said,
"What are
you going to do -- shoot me?"
The British Petroleum Oil Company --
the ones responsible for us not getting any more oil from Alaska -- are now
being accused of ruining the environment and putting people at risk just to
boost oil profits. This, of course, makes them eligible for 'Oil Company of the
Year.'
-- Jay Leno
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Saudi Arabia: Detainee Letter Exposes Alleged Guantanamo Horrors Asharq Alawsat, UK
Pakistan discusses Guantanamo prisoners with US Xinhua, China
George W. Bush: "Freedoms' Abortionist" .-- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press
Dick Cheney said Wednesday Joe Lieberman's election defeat in Connecticut last week gave encouragement to terrorists. The vice president shouldn't be allowed near a microphone. He is safer with a shotgun in his hands and the sun in his eyes. -- Comedian Argus Hamilton
Tom Ridge Disagrees with Cheney
Dick Cheney, darkly warned that the Connecticut
primary victory of antiwar candidate Ned Lamont over Sen. Joseph Lieberman
would only encourage "Al Qaeda types." (Interviewed by NEWSWEEK,
former Homeland
Security secretary Tom Ridge bridled at his former colleague's remark:
"That may be the way the vice president sees it," he said, "but I don't
see it that way, and I don't think most Americans see it that way.")
Go-F*ck-Yourself News

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Odd News
China Bans 'Simpsons' From Prime Time TV Washington Post
New York "charm school" helps men perfect the pick-up Reuters
Water-spouting tree has owner scratching head Chicago Sun-Times

In this photo released by China's Xinhua News Agency, two tigers paddle in a pool to enjoy coolness at the Hongshan Forest Zoo in Nanjing, capital of east China's Jiangsu Province Sunday, Aug. 13, 2006. The highest temperature reached 37 degrees Centigrade (98.6 degrees Fahrenheit) in Nanjing Sunday. (Photo/Xinhua, Wang Xin)
Peace.