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Wednesday edition - August 13, 2008
Putin abruptly left the Olympics to deal with the Georgia/Russia crisis. Bush stayed at the Olympics and hung out with the athletes. Enough said.
"Bush did
sit down with the premiere Olympic sportscaster of all time, Bob Costas, to
discuss what he thought was so weird about the invasion [on screen: Bush saying
he thought it was odd Russia invaded Georgia during a time when the world is
promoting 'peace and harmony,' and that there needs to be 'international
mediation there']. Yes. Sometimes international mediation can solve conflicts.
That's President Bush winning the preliminary heat in the 200 meter lack of
self-awareness dash [on screen: Bush saying America doesn't seem to have any
problems]. I think that might be our biggest problem." --Jon Stewart
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
"You know, he really is adorable. He shouldn't be our president. He should be our mascot." --Jon Stewart, watching Bush at the Olympics
Privatizing the Military Sure Has Worked Out Well, Huh?
The United States is spending roughly one-fifth of funds for the war in Iraq on private contractors, according to a report issued by the Congressional Budget Office on Tuesday.
Disturbing News
The Airlines Should Charge the Pentagon
Some airlines are charging U.S. soldiers extra baggage fees to take their military kits with them as they set off for war.
Republican-Shenanigans News
"It turns out the Chinese faked part of the opening ceremonies. They made the fireworks look more lively. It's the same technology they use for John McCain." --Craig Ferguson
Not Gonna Happen
Talk of Republican Sen. Chuck Hagel as a potential running mate for Democratic candidate Barack Obama tends to confound partisans in both parties.
Rock-The-Voter News
John McCain has been accused of stealing policy ideas from Wikipedia, which is ridiculous! Everybody “knows McCain doesn’t know how to use the Internet, so how could you even accuse him of that? - Craig Ferguson
"John Edwards, presidential aspirant and author of the famed claim that there are two Americas, was apparently only faithful to his wife in one of them. Apparently he didn't realize that the National Enquirer had reporters stationed in the other America, where he was, in fact, banging his videographer." --Jon Stewart (Watch video clip)
Biz-Tech News
If John McCain becomes President, I'm drinkin' Cindy's beer, and lots of it. - Grant Gerver
Bush-Prison-Torture News
The number 1 job in America: contractor in Iraq. Where do I sign up? - Grant Gerver
Money, Sex and Politics
Former
presidential candidate John Edwards knew his ex-mistress, Rielle Hunter, was
receiving payments from his former campaign finance chairman, according to the
National Enquirer, the publication that broke the story of Edwards' affair.
"According
to rumors, John McCain and Barack Obama are trying to get Angelina Jolie’s
endorsement for the campaign, and John Edwards is just trying to get her
number." --Craig Ferguson Go-F**k-Yourself News
Offline Donation: Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford. AL 36312
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Odd News
Tallan
'T-Man' Latz performs Monday, June 30, 2008, at Summerfest in Milwaukee. A blues
guitar prodigy, the 8-year-old has played in bars and clubs, including the House
of Blues in Chicago, and even jammed with Les Paul and Jackson Browne. However,
the state of Wisconsin says that Tallan cannot play in taverns and nightclubs
because of state child labor laws.
Peace.
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