Thursday edition - August 10, 2006



White House proposes retroactive war crimes protection
Boston Globe, United States - 8-10-06
The Bush administration drafted amendments to the War Crimes Act that would retroactively protect policy makers from possible criminal charges for authorizing any humiliating and degrading treatment of detainees, according to lawyers who have seen the proposal.

Plot to blow up UK flights in mid-air foiled
Scotsman - 8-10-06
A MAJOR plot to blow up ten flights from the UK in mid-air has been foiled, Scotland Yard has said. Police believe that the plot involved liquid chemical devices. Anti-terrorism police have arrested 18 people ...

US Warns PC Users of Flaw in Windows
New York Times - 8-10-06
The Department of Homeland Security issued an unusual security alert yesterday, warning users of Windows-based personal computers to patch a flaw in the Microsoft operating system


Geez, terror in the sky, fear of Microsoft Windows, and retroactive immunity for torture in one day.



President Bush told reporters Tuesday that Condi Rice is handling all phone calls to U.S. allies and brokering the Lebanon cease-fire. He's kicking back in the easy chair while Condi does all the work. And people say he's not really a Southerner. ---- comedian Argus Hamilton






The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News




Disturbing News



"How embarrassing is this: Former White House domestic advisor Claude Allen has pled guilty to a misdemeanor theft charge for stealing stuff from Target and then taking it back for a refund. Guy works in the White House, he would steal stuff from Target and then bring it back to get the money. How embarrassing is that? Republicans shopping at Target." --Jay Leno



Subject: What to name after Bush


If we have to name something after Bush, I'd prefer it to be his cemetery.
Reagan was the absolute most hideous leader ever. Bush is too incompetent to ever challenge that fact.

Doug Alley


I never understood renaming airports, the Florida Turnpike, etc... after Ronald Reagan.  He fired the air traffic controllers while president, did absolutely nothing positive for the state of Florida highways and the GOP even named an aircraft carrier after him. I guess it's the GOP way to put false idols in front of us.




Lisa, do you think a Sewage Treatment Plant might be more appropriate for GWB, even though a Federal Prison sounds good if he is locked up in it.



Haha. The George W. Bush Sewage Treatment Plant does have a nice ring to it!


Also, now I do think it was appropriate to rename the CIA Headquarters "The George H.W. Bush Center for Central Intelligence" considering their track record for the past 40 years.



Republican Shenanigans


When All Else Fails, Blame the Clintons


The only scheduled debate between the Republican candidates for Senate turned into a mud-slinging match last night when Kathleen (KT) McFarland accused her opponent, John Spencer, of philandering and nepotism.
"John, the problem with you is that you are like the Clintons: You've taxed and spent like Hillary and you've behaved like Bill," McFarland said.
"We are considering sending every voter a copy of that debate," crowed Howard Wolfson, spokesman for Sen. Hillary Clinton.



Lieberman's Website still down





Holey Joe Fires Entire Staff


Lieberman said that he fired his campaign manager and spokesman, and asked for the resignations of his campaign staff.



The Richard Nixon Library on Tuesday marked the thirty-second anniversary of his resignation. In the final days he drank heavily and blamed the Jews for all his problems. We never knew until today that what he really wanted to do was direct. ---- comedian Argus Hamilton


Rock-The-Voter News





Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney lost her Democratic primary in Georgia Tuesday in a landslide. She denounced Israel and later slugged a cop who detained her. She may have lost her congressional seat but Mel Gibson has found his leading lady. ---- comedian Argus Hamilton




Another Laptop Theft, This Time In Flori-duh


A laptop computer used by the Department of Transportation to combat fraud was stolen in Doral last month, putting the sensitive personal information of almost 133,000 Florida residents at risk of the criminal activity the agency was trying to guard against.

Social Security numbers, birth dates and addresses were on the laptop assigned to a special agent in the Miami office when it was stolen from a government-owned vehicle






The government said it may have to dip into the strategic petroleum reserve. That oil is only to be released to the public in an emergency. You know, like at election time. -- Jay Leno

Biz-Tech News



"Yesterday the company BP announced that it's shutting down its Alaska pipeline after a spill revealed some corrosion. The shutdown means the cutoff of 8% of our domestic oil supply and another uptick in the prices, because you know summer was just too awesome. You all remember BP, they're the cool oil company, their slogan is beyond petroleum because apparently that can leak. BP even invites their customers to speak to them. Oh, I have a question. Hey, you know that main pipeline that connects your product to the U.S. mainland. You ever check that?." --Jon Stewart





Bush-Prison-Torture News



“Here's an odd story -- a candidate for the president of the Congo has called a press conference to deny that he is a cannibal and said he has never eaten any pygmy. That's what he said. Finally, a candidate who cares about the little people.” -- Jay Leno






On this Day - August 10


1990 - Iraqi President Saddam Hussein declared a "jihad" or holy war against the U.S. and Israel.

1993 - A massive deficit-reduction bill was signed into law by U.S. President Bill Clinton.


1994 - U.S. President Clinton claimed presidential immunity when he asked a federal judge to dismiss, at least for the time being, a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by Paula Corbin Jones.


1995 - Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols were charged with 11 counts in the Oklahoma City bombing.


2003 - Ekaterina Dmitriev and Russian cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko were married. Malenchenko was about 240 miles above the earth in the international space station. It was the first-ever marriage from space.



If Fox News Had Been Around Throughout History



Go-F*ck-Yourself News



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Odd News


In this photo released by the Nakheel Development, construction goes on at Jumeira Palm Island in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. With 14,000 laborers toiling day and night, the first of Dubai's three palm-shaped islands is just four months away from its first residents moving in, the developer says. (Photo/Nakheel Development)