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Thursday edition - July 31, 2008
Hey, have you heard about this group called Prayer at the Pump? They’re a prayer group that springs up, and they go to gas stations and they hold hands and they pray for lower gas prices. Otherwise known as the Bush energy plan.- Jay Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
"Nation, I've got great news -- I am furious. Today Alaska Senator Ted Stevens was unfairly indicted by the Justice Department., just because the oilfield company VECO didn't charge him for an extensive renovation on his house -- including a brand new first floor, a fully finished basement, a wrap-around deck, and, one assumes, installing the latest internet tubes [on-screen: Stevens talking about the internet not being a 'big truck,' but a 'series of tubes']. The Justice Department is calling this a conflict of interest. Please -- VECO is a major oil drilling company, and Senator Stevens worked tirelessly to allow drilling in ANWR. That's not a conflict of interest -- their interests line up perfectly. This is a non-story folks, and I look forward to Stevens being proven innocent when President Bush commutes his sentence." --Stephen Colbert
The United States has "wasted" more than half a billion dollars in Iraq repairing facilities that were damaged because of poor security, the special inspector general for Iraq reconstruction says in a report released Wednesday.
Disturbing News
Foot Tapper Pork Tapper Tapper John
The US Republican Party
reeled Wednesday from the indictment of its longest-serving senator, which dealt
a fresh blow to its hope of limiting expected large-scale losses in
congressional elections...The drama was the latest scandal to hit Republicans
ahead of 2008 polls.
Republican-Shenanigans News
Barack Obama announced that next month he wants to spend a week on vacation in Hawaii. Yeah, after hearing about it, President Bush said, “I can’t believe he’s taking another trip to a foreign country.”- Conan O'Brien
Will Dan Quayle Dance the Mashed Potatoe?
Rock-The-Voter News
Ludacrass
Barack Obama does not want
Ludacris's props*. The Democratic presidential nominee has issued a statement
rejecting Ludacris's latest song, Politics, in which the rapper praises
Obama and attacks some of the Senator's past and present critics.
Biz-Tech News
Some 1.3 million illegal immigrants have left the United States since Congress failed to pass comprehensive immigration reform in the summer of 2007. If the trend continues, according to a new study, the nation's illegal population will drop by half in the next five years.
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Sent in by Paul
In an effort to crack
down on crime, Iran executed 29 people in one day. Apparently, they gave up the
electric chair for electric bleachers. – Will Durst
Go-F**k-Yourself News
Please keep All Hat No Cattle online
Offline Donation Lisa Casey PO Box 88 Ashford. AL 36312 Click here to e-mail a comment Odd News
Undated
handout picture shows a painting underneath Van Gogh's famous work 'Patch of
grass' in Hamburg. Scientists have made a colored view of an early rejected
painting underneath Vincent van Gogh's 'Patch of Grass' painting, using advanced
X-ray techniques, a Dutch university said on Wednesday.
Peace.
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