Tuesday edition - August 1, 2006

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On Cease-Fire, US Diplomacy Again Takes a Go-It-Alone Path |
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Democrats Press Bush on an Iraq Troop Exit |
Two Koreas exchange gunfire along fortified border |
If Bush isn't drunk then why would he act like it?
"Another day in the Middle East. Obviously the cease-fire fell through, talks fell apart, they lasted about two hours. Even the O.J. jury managed to meet longer than that." --Jon Stewart

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
44 killed in spiraling violence in Iraq Miami Herald, FL
In daylight raid, gunmen kidnap 26 Iraqis in Baghdad Baltimore Sun
Three British troops killed in ambush in Afghan south Reuters
Iraq says export pipeline to Turkey fixed Times of Malta, Malta
Work On Iraqi Oil Pipeline Years Behind Schedule RadioFreeEurope/RadioLiberty, Czech Republic
Israel pushes into Lebanon Reuters
Republican Laughs at Bush Middle East Policies
"This moment of conflict in the Middle East is painful and tragic," Bush said in his radio address Saturday. "Yet it is also a moment of opportunity for broader change in the region.....Haass, the former Bush aide who leads the Council on Foreign Relations, laughed at the president's public optimism. "An opportunity?" Haass said with an incredulous tone. "Lord, spare me. I don't laugh a lot. That's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. If this is an opportunity, what's Iraq? A once-in-a-lifetime chance?"
Mel Gibson becomes honorary member of Hezbollah -- Grant Gerver
Lebanon Crisis, Week Three - Bush Agenda
MIAMI, July 30 -- With crucial midterm
congressional elections just three months away, President Bush tried
Sunday to return to his domestic agenda even while the latest eruption in
the Middle East continued to dominate his administration's attention.
Bush flew here after going for a Sunday bicycle ride and hosting a
children's T-ball game on the South Lawn of the White House
to have dinner with Miami community leaders.
Thank goodness the Middle East Crisis didn't interfere with his bike ride and T-ball.
"President Bush hosted the 'American Idol' finalists in the Oval Office. Well
sure, there's not really anything else going on. Bush is very, very busy.
Tomorrow he meets with the Pirates of the Caribbean." --David Letterman

Disturbing News
Local man
killed in Miami asking for directions
"Hey, here's a very strange story. Police in St. Paul, Minnesota have caught the 81-year-old father of U.S. Senator Norm Coleman having sex in the parking lot of a pizza parlor with a 38-year-old woman. God, bless him. 81 years old. Police asked him why he didn't wait 'till he got home. He said 'At my age, I can't take a chance, I have to have it right now.'." --Jay Leno
Tequila Made Mel Do It

"The Passion of the Christ" director, who allegedly had an open bottle of Cazadores tequila in his Lexus when cops nabbed him on the Pacific Coast Highway
Republican Shenanigans
Massachusetts
Governor Apologizes for ‘Tar Baby’ Remark
Senate Moves Closer to Passing Bill on Gulf Drilling New York Times

"And for the most ridiculous story of the week. This week, Ann Coulter said Bill Clinton is gay. I got to admit he hides it pretty well. Ann Coulter thinks Bill Clinton is gay? But she also thinks George Bush is smart, so you gotta take it with a grain of salt." --Jay Leno
BUSH'S HEIR CUT: AWARDS TAX BREAK TO SON OF AN ASTOR

Israel agreed Sunday to suspend bombing of Southern Lebanon for forty-eight hours unless it sees preparation for attacks. Hezbollah needed the forty-eight hour break. They've got a stack of Mel Gibson movies they haven't had time to watch. -- comedian Argus Hamilton
PHOTOS: Rapture Art on the Internets
Rock-The-Voter News
Poll shows Democrats lead in all down-ballot races San Jose Mercury News, USA
Uh Oh - Bush Has Preemptive Strike
Plan for Cuba
"If Fidel Castro were to move on because of natural causes, we've got a plan in place to help the people of Cuba understand there's a better way than the system in which they've been living under," he told WAQI-AM Radio Mambi, a Spanish-language radio station. "No one knows when Fidel Castro will move on. In my judgment, that's the work of the Almighty."

Biz-Tech News
Halliburton
to provide cementing services In Indonesia
Chatrooms may be banned in US schools to combat sexual predators Guardian Unlimited, UK
Texting helps teens' grammar Globe and Mail
Photo sequence of Bush's foothold on the road to peace

Subject: Yesterday's Jehovah Witness Pic
Lisa
Boy do you know how to get to my ole heart! "How to keep Jehovah Witnesses
etc."
My method is to tell the gals they have three minutes to vamoose. They
don't and I say one minute up. Next minute I take off my clothes and
minute after that I walk outside and get that hose over there and spray
them with water. They usually leave.
Dennis
Those people always bother me when I'm in the shower, so I snap 'em with my towel!
Here's a helpful sign

Bush-Prison-Torture News
Guantanamo Bay general honored

Go-F*ck-Yourself News
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Odd News
Ants More Aggressive When in Gangs SPACE.com

In this photo released by the Australian Antarctic Division, the rare and spectacular nacreous cloud (top) is seen high in the stratosphere some 20 kilometers (12 miles) above Australia's Mawson station in Antarctica, on July 25, 2006. The extremely cold temperatures below minus 85 degrees Celcius (minus 121 degrees Fahrenheit) in the rarefied atmosphere show delicate Mother-of-Pearl shell colors produced when the fading light of the Antarctic sunset passed through tiny water-ice crystals blown along on a strong jet of stratospheric air. (Photo/Australian Antarctic Division, Renae Baker)
Peace.