August 1  2003 TGIF

Mixed Messages Natural Part of Government

WASHINGTON - One day, the transportation security agency asks permission to cut the air marshals' program to help balance its overall budget. The next day, the government warns airlines and law enforcement agencies about possible new terrorist hijackings before the end of summer.

President Bush says the terror threat "is a real threat" yet his spokesman says there are no plans to raise the terror alert level from yellow, where it has been since just after Memorial Day.

Progress is being made in Iraq, Bush says. But U.S. forces are being killed in almost daily ambush attacks...

'Treason' rings with rant
Rocky Mountain News, CO - 8-1-03
... Thus, although Ann Coulter's Treason may be proof positive of Samuel Johnson's observation that "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel," what really ...

LP News Online: November 2000: Conservative columnist Ann Coulter is rejected by Connecticut LP in bid to run for U.S. House

Feds warning of additional U.S. hijackings

Associated Press
WASHINGTON (AP) - The Transportation Security Administration wants to reduce the number of air marshals to save money, even as the government is warning about the possibility al-Qaida may try more suicide hijackings.

Annie "I got real and verbal  guns" Coulter has always seemed like a cartoon character to me.  She deserves to be AHNC's Terror Alert Gal of the month--our viewers demanded it.  While researching for today's edition I ran across a 2000 article on the Libertarian Party website where Annie was refused by the Lib Party to run for Congress.  They had the sense to reject her offer and her response was typical Ann Coulter - mean.






Naked Man


"Hey, Chippendale, you new in town? Not you, Clydesdale!" - Anita Beer at the First Annual AHNC Push Bush on His Tush - 2004 Election Season Kickoff Reception and Exhibition Game

Click here for Naked Man Dancing

Zelda's Archives



Ann Coulter portrait by

Iraq war 'boost' to al-Qaeda fear
The Iraq conflict may have hampered the battle to defeat international terrorism, an influential group of MPs have warned.

London (BBC)  8-1-03
In its latest report, the House of Commons foreign affairs committee also argues that nearly two years on from the 11 September atrocity it cannot conclude the threat from al-Qaeda has diminished.

In fact, the MPs say, the terror organisation continues to pose "a substantial threat to British citizens" and it still has a "dangerously large number of foot soldiers" and the resources to finance terror attacks....


"The reports today say prostitution has returned to the streets of Baghdad. They've gone from a no-fly zone to an open-fly zone. In fact they said it was $20 to look for your weapon of mass destruction, $50 if they find it." —Jay Leno



International Crisis Group issues warning about North Korea
Radio Australia, Australia - 8-1-03
... Pyongyang should be backed up by a credible threat of force. The group's president, Gareth Evans, says there is a real risk of North Korea exporting nuclear ...

N. Korea supports multilateral talks on nuclear threat, Russia ...
Arizona Republic, AZ - 
MOSCOW - North Korea's ambassador to Russia said Thursday his country supported multilateral talks to ease tensions surrounding Pyongyang's nuclear program ...
       Russia: N. Korea supports multilateral talks on nuclear threat - USA Today
       North Korea agrees to talks on nuclear standoff: Russia - China Post
       North Korea Seen as Ready to Agree to Wider Meetings - The Ledger


All Hat No  Cartoon 8-1-03










Cartoon Edited and Approved by Homeland Security.

Inquiry begins into Dr David Kelly's death
This is Local London, UK - 8-1-03
Lord Hutton’s inquiry into the death of weapons expert Dr David Kelly
opens at the Royal Courts of Justice this morning. The Law ...

       Q&A: The Hutton inquiry - BBC News
       Kelly inquiry reveals letter - Ireland Online

Poindexter Bails Out of Pentagon Amid Controversy
KFSN, CA - 8-1-03
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - John Poindexter, the Iran-Contra scandal figure who headed
two criticized Pentagon projects, including one that would have enabled ...


Zelda knew.

Retrial Sought In LA Police Brutality Case
Sacramento Observer, CA - 8-1-03
... Donovan Jackson testified at the trial of former Inglewood police
officer Jeremy Morse, who was seen on video assaulting Jackson. ...

       White policeman to face retrial - The Age
       Prosecutor to Seek Retrial in Video Case - ABC News

I saw that video tape and if that wasn't police brutality, then I don't know what is. Imagine all the police brutality cases that aren't caught on tape. But obviously, the tape didn't convince the hung jury.  Five of those jurors need an eye exam.


Be Afraid. He has 18 months left in office.

Brazilian town covered in foam

The town of Pirapora do Bom Jesus, Sao Paulo, was flooded by detergents and shampoos discarded into the River Tiete.
Residents had to seal their doors and windows to stop it coming into their homes, reports the Estado de Sao Paulo newspaper.
A small waterfall in the river at the town reportedly whipped up the detergents into a foam...


The Bad News: American waterways will resemble this photo as Bush is trying to lift clean water regulations.

    The Good News: American won't need to buy detergents or shampoo any longer.

Dean Debuts Environmental Strategy for Next 100 Years
Environment News - 8-1-03
... damage or destroy chemical plants, water ... North Carolina has blamed President Bush ... trying
to roll back our clean ... the EPA Administrator to establish regulations ...

Controversy Over Judicial Nominees Derails Energy Bill
Environment News - 7-31-03
... legal challenges to environmental rules and regulations ... Environmentalists are increasingly
worried that the Bush ... the authority to enforce the Clean Water ...



SUBJECT: Your writing skills

Good Morning Lisa,

Just a short note today...
Lately, I've noticed your talents as a writer have begun to emerge in numerous responses to stupid goper -- or gopigs as Zelda calls 'em -- tricks that slither in under the AHNC transom.
You have the fighting spirit of a true believer, a keen eye for detail and a very sharp pen.
Keep it up!

Take care,

Aw, Tom, I'm blushing.  I can write one liners or short copy--other than that my ADD/Dyslexia/Paranoia/Blondeness is why I am thrilled Zelda agreed to be my partner in comedic crime here at AHNC.

Thanks for writing.



Young Republican's party plan crashes
Middletown Times Herald Record, NY - Jul 31, 2003

An aide to Orange County Executive Edward Diana is under fire after he and his friends invited some of the nation's brightest Young Republicans to what was advertised as a booze-soaked sex bash in Boston.
The controversy surrounding Diana's 24-year-old staff assistant, Karl Brabenec, started at the Young Republicans national convention July 11, when his friends distributed fliers "for lots of beer, liquor and sex" at a party dubbed, "Karlpalooza '03."
Since then, copies of the incriminating invites have surfaced in Orange County, prompting cries of disgust from women's groups, county legislators and fellow Republicans.
The furor reached a fever pitch yesterday as Diana asked Brabenec to step down as president of the Orange County Young Republicans, while letting him keep his $38,789-a-year staff job...

I typed Brabenec Orange County Young Republicans into the google news search engine and came up with ONE story.

If the Young Democrats did this we'd have Ann Coulter demanding jail time and Pat Robertson praying God for the removal of the Democratic Party.  But GOPigs  get another free ride from the media.

Thanks to Tom S. for sending me the article or none of us would know about it--unless we were at the party.  I am surprised Anita Beer wasn't there.  Or maybe she was?

Coming Soon - All Hat No Cattle Strip Mall







The world's first glowing transgenic fish, nicknamed 'Night Pearl', developed by a Taiwan company shown at the BioTaiwan exhibition in Taipei . The Taiwan developers injected the green fluorescent gene of jellyfish into the embryo of rice fish to make the colorless freshwater fish glow in the dark. Environmentalists fear the genetically engineered fish could pose a threat to the earth's ecosystem.