July 27,  2004  Tuesday

 Bush's Next Job

Thanks Bobby!

Bush gets on his bike . . . and soon goes flying
Toronto Star, Canada - 7-27-04
CRAWFORD, Texas—George W. Bush plunged down hills and plowed through the brush on his high-end, high-performance mountain bike — and wound up flat on his ...

Bush Takes Another Tumble on Mountain Bike 


CRAWFORD, Texas (Reuters) - President Bush , for the second time in two months, took a tumble


Dems, DNC & GOP Agree - The George W. Bush Singers CD Debut ...
Yahoo News (press release) - 7-27-04
The George W. Bush Singers Proudly Present an All New - FCC Friendly - CD Release Packed With Memorable Words of Inspiration; Enjoy These Tunes to Tap Your ...

I couldn't think up the comedic fodder that Bush provides.

"I'm gonna show you a hill that would choke a mule." George W Bush proclaimed seconds before he flew over the handlebars on his bike Read AP article

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

"Democratic Party officials were reluctant to allow Al-Jazeera in at first, because they thought their coverage would be biased and hostile. Then they realized it couldn't be any worse than Fox News." Jay Leno

Democratic Convention News

Bush's new bike is one of the best in the business: a Trek Fuel 98 made of high-tech carbon fiber. The frame is adorned with top-shelf components that Bush professes to know little about, including a motorcycle-style front and rear suspension that soaks up big bumps. The Guardian AP Story

AHNC Central American Bureau Update:  Direct TV was installed late yesterday. The good news is that I get CNN International and Bloomberg News in English. The bad news is there is no C-SPAN. I miss Brian Lamb.

I post the website over a phone 56K modem. That adds about an extra hour production time.

 Ann Coulter column canceled after editing dispute
USA Today 

Disturbing News

"As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings."
Craig Kilborn



Bush Diplomacy News

Email: Pmp385@aol.com

Subject: this web site is a joke

typical of liberals crap .if republican said that about john kerry you hypocritical bastards would throw a hissy fit like the juvenile scumbags you are

Hello Mr Namecaller!


Well, at least you didn’t tell me to go F*** myself, as your fearless leader, Dick Cheney, probably would. 

Dick Cheney F word + Howard Stern fine = Hypocrisy

Thanks for writing that this site is a joke…. that is our intent, to make people laugh by delivering great punch lines.

Keep that safe room duct-taped tight!

Nursery Crimes


Little Boy Bush


Little boy Bush
smirks like a goon,
"We're going to Mars,
we're going to the Moon".
But where was boy Bush
during the 9/11 incident?
He was in a classroom dreaming
"Now I'm a war president".
Little boy Bush
speaks in Iowa corn,
"You've got to believe me,
to this job I was born".
But after boy Bush's
big words have been spent,
he leans back smirking,
"Now I'm a peace president".
Little boy Bush
smears Edwards and Kerry,
"They're flip-floppers,
won't stay the course, like me".
But when the boy Bush
finishes his sound bite,
he thinks "Should I be tough
or compassionate tonight?"

John Grant – Japan

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm
a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the
woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips,
cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating
out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work,
wearing only what nature gave me.  Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for
Daisy, I'll be waiting...

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the
Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black
Labrador retriever. (Men are so easy.)

Sent in by Oz

I need to put food on my family.

If you're having a good time please support All Hat No Cattle


Lisa Casey

PO Box 88

Ashford, AL 36312

The Bush twins, 22-year-old Jenna and Barbara, are hitting the campaign trail and going public as never before. In a spread for the August issue of Vogue, they pose in glamorous gowns and dish about karaoke parties and soy lattes. Knight-Ridder Newswire

That's campaigning? Sounds more like the twins are interested in a career in modeling.

“You can’t be a war president one day and a peace president the next, based on political polls.” -President Jimmy Carter describing George Waffler Bush at the Democratic Convention.

Republican Shenanigans


I am getting really sick of hearing how a vote for Bush is a vote
for Jesus. Aside from the "Who would Jesus bomb?" bumper stickers
there seems to be very little said confronting the wrong wing, so
called christians' claim to Christianity.
Here is a letter to the editor I submitted to my small (very
republican, very Christian) town newspaper. I think it challenges the
hypocrites and I would like to see it given a wider circulation, see if
it's up to your standards, and keep up the good work.

The whole purpose of the ministry of Christ was to teach us higher
truths than those revealed in the older scriptures. “Love thy
neighbor” and “turn the other cheek” supersede “smite thy enemy” and “an eye for
an eye”.
By their fruits shall ye know them. If someone follows those
scriptures that conflict with Christ's teachings in his every action,
then he is not a Christian, no matter how loudly or often he may
proclaim himself to be one. If someone claims to be guided by God it
should soon be obvious whether he takes his directions from the one who
Jesus called his father, or from that other guy, the one who is known
as “the father of lies”.
What do we see happening? A blatant war of aggression, prisoners
being tortured, the environment being degraded, a huge deficit being run up,
and lies, lies, lies. We have been lied to every step of the way.
Who's path is that? The teachings of Christ are about love,
compassion, sharing, forgiveness, peace, and healing. What our government is
doing, with our money and in our name is the antithesis of what Jesus would
have us do.
When the Christians in Ireland sat down together as neighbors they
were able to resolve their differences and end their terrorism. As
difficult as it may be to actually do, loving thy neighbor is the
answer. Why then is Americas “war on terror” modeled on the way Israel
fights terror? Israel is neither Christian nor effective in stopping
terrorism. They follow those other “eye for an eye” scriptures, and
they live in constant war and terrorism. Is that what we want for
Following the Christian path is not easy. Jesus himself didn't turn
the other cheek when he threw the moneychangers out of the temple. He
knew that it's not money, but the love of money, greed, that's the root
of all evil, and when he saw evil taking over an institution of good he
took action. What then should we do about the greed running rampant in
our government?
If you want to know what's really happening, follow the money. The
war in Iraq hasn't made the world a safer place for you and me, it's made
the world a more profitable place for Haliburton. No matter what the
reason given, every change made by Washington these days effectively
concentrates more money into fewer hands, the hands of the greedy.
The moneychangers are in control of our government and until we throw
them out we can forget about seeing Christian values guiding America.
It's not the separation of church and state that's a problem, the
problem is that there is no separation of corporations and state.
Maybe the election only gives us a choice of evils, but by voting incumbents
out we vote for change.
Tom S.


Thanks for writing Tom.

"Swimming is outside exercise, but you don't get the feeling of the wind rushing by you, nor can you swim your favorite piece of property." George W.Bush , presidential dog peddler - AP

Air Force's 50-Plane Purchase Criticized - Report
Reuters - Jul 24, 2004
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The Defense Department's inspector general office faulted the Air Force for its $2.6 billion acquisition of 50 transport planes it says ...

Bush-Prison-Torture News


Go-F*** -Yourself News

"John Kerry decided on the new party slogan: "The Democratic Party -- Love It or Shove It!" Jay Leno

Good News


"While the Democrats are up in Boston, the Republicans are down in Florida tinkering with the voting machines." David Letterman

Biz/Tech News

 "Security's going to be tight at the Republican convention. You'll be frisked, patted down, you'll be groped — and that's just by Arnold" —David Letterman

Kerry/Edwards News

Odd News

Seen on Altercation

Quote of the Day:  “In a polite society, you don’t go up to a person and look at them in the face and say, 'You’re a liar,'" Cohen said in a telephone interview before arriving in Spokane, the next stop on the Pants on Fire Tour.  “We think it’s a lot more dignified and there’s a lot more decorum to say, ‘Excuse me sir, your pants are getting a little warm, don’t you think?”'  Here.

Bill Clinton did not cause this accident on a bridge in the Florida Keys yesterday. Clinton was in Boston attending the Democratic Convention.


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