Tuesday edition - July 22, 2008

The Oil Game

Do you think Osama bin Laden sees these “Batman” movies and goes, “Oh, now that’s a cave?”- Jay Leno

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

• US military deaths in Afghanistan region at 476 The Associated Press

• Kurdish journalist killed in Iraq The Associated Press

• Iraq: Car bomb kills 2 Iraqi Kurdish contractors The Associated Press

• 25 Taliban die, wounded in Afghanistan AP

• Obama: Iraqi PM Wants US Troops Out by 2010 Voice of America

• Obama Reaps Whirlwind Of Positive Coverage In Iraq U.S. News & World Report 

• U.S. military says Iraq troop "surge" has ended Reuters

Middle East Danger

The driver of a backhoe was shot and killed after driving the construction machine over a number of vehicles near the Jerusalem hotel where Sen. Barack Obama is scheduled to stay Tuesday night, according to police

A religious group at Southern Methodist University says they are opposed to having a George W. Bush think tank. Not on religious grounds, just logic.- Jay Leno

Disturbing News

• Texas, Mexico prepare for Tropical Storm Dolly Washington Post

• Deadly Tolls: Sick truckers causing fatal wrecks AP

“President Bush signed a bill giving phone companies immunity for letting the government spy on its customers without a warrant. Isn't that unbelievable? President Bush said 9/11 changed everything. And you know, he's right. Because violating the Constitution, breaking the law, used to mean jail time.”- Jay Leno
 

Senior Moments?

Senator John McCain (R-Ariz.) said “Iraq” when he apparently meant “Afghanistan” on Monday, adding to a string of mixed-up word choices that is giving ammunition to the opposition.

Just in the past three weeks, McCain has also mistaken "Somalia" for "Sudan," and even football’s Green Bay Packers for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Republican-Shenanigans News

• Bush gives US Olympians a rousing send-off AP

• Bush Says Congress Stands in Way of `Vast' Offshore Oil Supply Bloomberg

• McCain and Bush 41 Weigh in on Obama's Foreign Trip CBS News

• McCain: Dobson to endorse? MSNBC

• McCain's Maverick Side: Grandpa Would Be Proud

• Young Republicans, Blue About the Prospects Ahead Washington Post

• Reid confronts GOP antagonist with 40-bill package The Associated Press

• Republicans start arena conversion for convention The Associated Press

• State Dept. Talks With Iran, N. Korea Look Like Obama Policy ABC News

"Down in the White House lawn, President Bush and all the boys got together and had a t-ball game. Anybody here ever play t-ball? Let me tell you, one inning of t-ball is the most exciting three hours in sports. And the t-ball, they had a great time. Everybody was going well until Vice President Cheney waterboarded the umpire." -David Letterman

Guns Inc.

Smith & Wesson is manufacturing a commemorative revolver in honor of the landmark U.S. Supreme Court ruling that backed the right of individuals to own guns for self-defense.

Fox News needs a spell checker: "eductaion"

Rock-The-Voter News

• Details of Obama's Trip Released Washington Post

• Obama barely leads in New Hampshire Boston Globe

• Hillary Donors Gave Obama $1.8 Million in June Washington Post

Well, in political news, there was a huge reception for Barack Obama in the Middle East this past weekend. People were screaming, chasing him, hanging on his every word — and that was just the US press corps.- Jay Leno

Biz-Tech News

• Fears drive oil prices up San Francisco Chronicle

• Mortgage giant rescue could cost $25b AP

• Wachovia loses $8.86 billion, slashes jobs Reuters

• Apple stock tumbles despite jump in earnings Los Angeles Times 

• Salmonella found in fresh jalapeno, FDA says Reuters 

There's so much money in the gas station business they've installed TV screens at the pump. They ought to play porn movies so you can see someone else is getting screwed the same time you are.  - Argus Hamilton

FEMA Is Still A Disaster

A year overdue, the Federal Emergency Management Agency issued a draft disaster housing strategy Monday, which leaves it largely up to the next administration to figure out a way to avoid Hurricane Katrina-like problems that sent victims to toxic trailers.

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• Guantanamo Judge Blocks Use of Some Statements Washington Post 

Israel arrested six men linked to al-Qaeda Thursday for plotting to shoot down President Bush's helicopter in Israel last month. That was close. Israel's security chief could win the Nobel Peace Prize for keeping Dick Cheney from becoming president. - Argus Hamilton

Go-F**k-Yourself News

• "The Dark Side" by Jane Mayer THE DARK SIDE New York Times

• Halliburton second-quarter net down Reuters

FATMAN

I hope you had a good time today!

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Odd News

• Report: 'Batman' accused of assaulting mom, sister The Associated Press

• Jessica Simpson gets booed at first country concert Los Angeles Times 

• Bill Murray planning to sky-dive at air show Chicago Tribune 

• Judge rules against YouTube star in divorce court Reuters

• Hybrid Cars Pose Risk to Blind, Visually Impaired HealthDay

• Brass thieves hit hydrants, raising fire concerns AP

• Kids give pope Mickey Mouse cap but he prefers white Reuters

• Men sentenced for setting friend's crotch ablaze AP

• Man blows up apartment spraying for bugs? Reuters

• Pastor gets into motorcycle crash - during service AP

In this photo released by the Monroe Police Department, burglary suspect Kyle Burress is seen sleeping on pillows and pads allegedly stolen from storage containers at a nearby department store July 9, 2008, in Monroe, Wash. Burress was one of two men who were found asleep on the stolen goods after they allegedly broke into storage containers at Fred Meyer and left a trail of evidence to where they were found asleep. Police took some photographs before waking and arresting the pair, who have been charged with second-degree theft.
Photo/Monroe Police Department

Peace.