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Tuesday edition - July 22, 2008
The Oil Game
Do you think Osama bin Laden sees these “Batman” movies and goes, “Oh, now that’s a cave?”- Jay Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
Middle East Danger
The driver of a backhoe was shot and killed after driving the construction machine over a number of vehicles near the Jerusalem hotel where Sen. Barack Obama is scheduled to stay Tuesday night, according to police
A religious group at Southern Methodist University says they are opposed to having a George W. Bush think tank. Not on religious grounds, just logic.- Jay Leno
Disturbing News
“President
Bush signed a bill giving phone companies immunity for letting the government
spy on its customers without a warrant. Isn't that unbelievable? President Bush
said 9/11 changed everything. And you know, he's right. Because violating the
Constitution, breaking the law, used to mean jail time.”- Jay Leno
Senior Moments?
Senator John
McCain (R-Ariz.) said “Iraq” when he apparently meant “Afghanistan” on Monday,
adding to a string of mixed-up word choices that is giving ammunition to the
opposition.
Republican-Shenanigans News
"Down in the White House lawn, President Bush and all the boys got together and had a t-ball game. Anybody here ever play t-ball? Let me tell you, one inning of t-ball is the most exciting three hours in sports. And the t-ball, they had a great time. Everybody was going well until Vice President Cheney waterboarded the umpire." -David Letterman
Guns Inc.
Smith & Wesson is manufacturing a commemorative revolver in honor of the landmark U.S. Supreme Court ruling that backed the right of individuals to own guns for self-defense.
Fox News needs a spell checker: "eductaion"
Rock-The-Voter News
Well, in political news, there was a huge reception for Barack Obama in the Middle East this past weekend. People were screaming, chasing him, hanging on his every word — and that was just the US press corps.- Jay Leno
Biz-Tech News
There's so much money in the gas station business they've installed TV screens at the pump. They ought to play porn movies so you can see someone else is getting screwed the same time you are. - Argus Hamilton
FEMA Is Still A Disaster
A year overdue, the Federal Emergency Management Agency issued a draft disaster housing strategy Monday, which leaves it largely up to the next administration to figure out a way to avoid Hurricane Katrina-like problems that sent victims to toxic trailers.
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Israel arrested six men linked to al-Qaeda Thursday for plotting to shoot down President Bush's helicopter in Israel last month. That was close. Israel's security chief could win the Nobel Peace Prize for keeping Dick Cheney from becoming president. - Argus Hamilton
Go-F**k-Yourself News
FATMAN
I hope you had a good time today!
Please support All Hat No Cattle Offline Donation Lisa Casey PO Box 88 Ashford. AL 36312 Click here to e-mail a comment Odd News
In this photo
released by the Monroe Police Department, burglary suspect Kyle Burress is seen
sleeping on pillows and pads allegedly stolen from storage containers at a
nearby department store July 9, 2008, in Monroe, Wash. Burress was one of two
men who were found asleep on the stolen goods after they allegedly broke into
storage containers at Fred Meyer and left a trail of evidence to where they were
found asleep. Police took some photographs before waking and arresting the pair,
who have been charged with second-degree theft.
Peace.
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