Tuesday edition - July 18, 2006

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Slow US evacuation plans leave thousands stranded |
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Bin Laden's driver on road to freedom |
Bush Vows Swift
Veto of Stem Cell Bill |
I wonder if Condi Rice or the cruise ship will be the first to arrive in Lebanon?
"This morning the Vatican weighed in on the crisis. The Vatican came out and condemned Israel's attacks on Lebanon ... which is great, because all day yesterday, the Jews and Muslims were asking, 'What do the Catholics think?'" --
Conan O'Brien

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Suicide bombing raises 3-day toll in Iraq above 150 International Herald Tribune
British sweep Basra, Iraq says 5 militia killed Reuters AlertNet, UK
Trapped foreigners are shuttled to safety International Herald Tribune
Crisis May Put Syria Back in Political Mix Los Angeles Times
Rice plans Mideast peace mission Zee News, India
"The FBI has busted three guys who stole secrets from Coca-Cola and were going to sell them to Pepsi. Espionage. ... I mean Osama bin Laden is still running around, but by God we got these guys." --David Letterman
The Moving Target Evacuation Plan: Read Fine Print Before Signing
The main U.S. evacuation plan involves a cruise
ship, the 750-passenger Orient Queen, due to arrive in Lebanon today to
ferry the 25,000 American passengers to Cyprus. Defense officials said
other private ships are likely to be contracted, as well.
Americans have been told to wait for a phone call and that they can't
board the ship

Disturbing News
Ecuador volcano buries farms in ash; 'ready to boil over': expert AFP
Full bolt system flawed in Big Dig
Bush massages a surprised German Chancellor Merkel at G-8 Summit _ Click here_Raw Story

Republican Mantra - Scare The Bejesus Out Of Women
Women who consult with pregnancy resource centers often get misleading information about the health risks associated with having an abortion, according to a report issued Monday by Democrats on the House Government Reform Committee.
Congressional aides, posing as pregnant 17-year-olds,
called 25 pregnancy centers that have received some federal funding over the
past five years.
The aides were routinely told of
increased risk for cancer, infertility and stress disorders, said the
report, which was prepared for Rep. Henry Waxman

Mum names son after Hezbollah rocket.
RAAD is born – not the long-range missile that Hezbollah is firing at Israel, but a Lebanese baby boy whose mother wants to honor the Shiite militant group's showdown with the Jewish state.

Israeli children writing messages on a 155mm projectile.
"Did you know Beirut, Lebanon, is L.A.'s sister city? It's true. Well it's a desert with foreign speaking people, nonstop gunfire. Perfect really." --Jay Leno
Republican Shenanigans
Yo Bush! Blair mocked as US poodle Washington Post
Jeb travels to Britain to stir up trade as ... Naples Daily News, FL
Feds query ex-adviser on Harris Orlando Sentinel
Ralph Reed counts on Christian votes Seattle Times
He Really Is Too Stupid To Be President
Bush expresses amazement
that it will take some leaders as many as eight hours to fly home about the same
time it will take Air Force One with Bush aboard to return to Washington.
"You eight hours? Me, too. Russia's a big country and you're a big country,"
Bush said, at one point telling a waiter he wanted Diet Coke.
"Takes him eight hours to fly home. Russia's big and so is China."

Rock-The-Voter News
IRS Warns Churches to Avoid Campaigning Mcalester News Capital, OK
Million dollar lottery plan to boost voting in Arizona
Gregoire sends feds an invoice for $50 million Seattle Times
"Russia announced that it is willing to store nuclear waste from other countries. A spokesperson for Russia said, 'Our goal is to be the New Jersey of Europe.'" --Conan O'Brien
Biz-Tech News
Crude Oil Rises Amid Concern Conflict in Lebanon Will Spread Bloomberg
New Tool Searches Google for Malware PC World
"It was announced that Ken Lay's body will be cremated and a lot of people are, of course, very upset about this ... that they waited to do this until after he died."
--Jay Leno
Bush-Prison-Torture News
UN human rights experts chastise US Macon Telegraph, GA

"Stop doing this shit, George!" (Oops, how was I to know my mic was on?)
-- Grant Gerver
Russian Freedom of Press Snaps Pic of Bush and His Busch
TAKE NOTE OF BEER BOTTLE IN FRONT OF BUSH AND ALSO EXTRA BEERS CHILLING IN A BUCKET NEXT TO THE BUFFET -- PUTIN LOOKS AS THOUGH HE'S WONDERING HOW DRUNK BUSH IS

U.S. President George W. Bush, left, and Russian President Vladimir Putin seen during dinner at the G8 summit site in St.Petersburg, Russia, Friday, July 14, 2006. (Photo/ITAR-TASS, Dmitry Astakhov, Presidential Press Service)
Go-F*ck-Yourself News

"According to the New York Times, lawyers are almost four times more likely to get depressed than other people, especially lawyers who go hunting with Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno
Odd News
Italians dig up 18th century castrato singer for research AFP
Clerk charged with spiking juice served at church Chicago Sun-Times
MTV Curse Claims Carmen & Dave E! Online

The world's first one-seater dry-battery powered aircraft soars in the air, while students of the Tokyo Institute of Technology follow it, at the Honda Aiport in Okegawa city, Saitama prefecture, north of Tokyo.(Photo/Yoshikazu Tsuno)
Peace.