Tuesday edition - July 18, 2006



Slow US evacuation plans leave thousands stranded
USA Today - 7-18-06
Thousands of Americans remained stranded Monday in Lebanon as the State and Defense departments developed plans to evacuate them. By late Monday, 64 Americans ...

Bin Laden's driver on road to freedom
Scotland on Sunday - Jul 15, 2006
WHEN they come to write the history of the War on Terror, few names will loom larger than that of Salim Ahmed Hamdan, a Yemeni orphan who, through a combination of extraordinary circumstances, has twice stymied George Bush.

Bush Vows Swift Veto of Stem Cell Bill
Washington Post, United States - 7-18-06
... The Senate is poised to send a bill expanding federal funding of embryonic stem cell research to President Bush, who has promised a swift veto _ his first. ...


I wonder if Condi Rice or the cruise ship will be the first to arrive in Lebanon?



"This morning the Vatican weighed in on the crisis. The Vatican came out and condemned Israel's attacks on Lebanon ... which is great, because all day yesterday, the Jews and Muslims were asking, 'What do the Catholics think?'" --Conan O'Brien





The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


"The FBI has busted three guys who stole secrets from Coca-Cola and were going to sell them to Pepsi. Espionage. ... I mean Osama bin Laden is still running around, but by God we got these guys." --David Letterman



The Moving Target Evacuation Plan: Read Fine Print Before Signing


The main U.S. evacuation plan involves a cruise ship, the 750-passenger Orient Queen, due to arrive in Lebanon today to ferry the 25,000 American passengers to Cyprus. Defense officials said other private ships are likely to be contracted, as well.

Americans have been told to wait for a phone call and that they can't board the ship
unless they've signed a contract agreeing to pay the U.S. government back for the price of their evacuation.



Disturbing News



Bush massages a surprised German Chancellor Merkel at G-8 Summit _ Click here_Raw Story





Republican Mantra - Scare The Bejesus Out Of Women


Women who consult with pregnancy resource centers often get misleading information about the health risks associated with having an abortion, according to a report issued Monday by Democrats on the House Government Reform Committee.


Congressional aides, posing as pregnant 17-year-olds, called 25 pregnancy centers that have received some federal funding over the past five years.

The aides were routinely told of increased risk for cancer, infertility and stress disorders, said the report, which was prepared for Rep. Henry Waxman





Mum names son after Hezbollah rocket.


RAAD is born not the long-range missile that Hezbollah is firing at Israel, but a Lebanese baby boy whose mother wants to honor the Shiite militant group's showdown with the Jewish state.



Israeli children writing messages on a 155mm projectile.



"Did you know Beirut, Lebanon, is L.A.'s sister city? It's true. Well it's a desert with foreign speaking people, nonstop gunfire. Perfect really." --Jay Leno


Republican Shenanigans


He Really Is Too Stupid To Be President


Bush expresses amazement that it will take some leaders as many as eight hours to fly home about the same time it will take Air Force One with Bush aboard to return to Washington.

"You eight hours? Me, too. Russia's a big country and you're a big country," Bush said, at one point telling a waiter he wanted Diet Coke. "Takes him eight hours to fly home. Russia's big and so is China."



Rock-The-Voter News



"Russia announced that it is willing to store nuclear waste from other countries. A spokesperson for Russia said, 'Our goal is to be the New Jersey of Europe.'" --Conan O'Brien




Biz-Tech News



"It was announced that Ken Lay's body will be cremated and a lot of people are, of course, very upset about this ... that they waited to do this until after he died." --Jay Leno


Bush-Prison-Torture News




"Stop doing this shit, George!" (Oops, how was I to know my mic was on?) -- Grant Gerver



Russian Freedom of Press Snaps Pic of Bush and His Busch




U.S. President George W. Bush, left, and Russian President Vladimir Putin seen during dinner at the G8 summit site in St.Petersburg, Russia, Friday, July 14, 2006. (Photo/ITAR-TASS, Dmitry Astakhov, Presidential Press Service)


Go-F*ck-Yourself News




"According to the New York Times, lawyers are almost four times more likely to get depressed than other people, especially lawyers who go hunting with Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno


Odd News




The world's first one-seater dry-battery powered aircraft soars in the air, while students of the Tokyo Institute of Technology follow it, at the Honda Aiport in Okegawa city, Saitama prefecture, north of Tokyo.(Photo/Yoshikazu Tsuno)