Thursday edition - July 1, 2010




Obama Mocks Boehner's 'Ant,' Barton's BP Apology
If you wondered how severe the GOP’s recent affliction of foot-in-mouth disease was, you can take a clue from President Obama just now mocking the two most spectacular recent examples.
First was Minority Leader John Boehner’s remarks to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review that passing financial regulatory reform to fix the problems that sparked the economic downturn was like using a nuke to kill an ant.

Portland police reopen therapist's complaint about Gore

 Police in Portland, Oregon, say they have reopened their investigation into a massage therapist's allegation that former Vice President Al Gore had "unwanted sexual contact" with her in 2006, a police spokeswoman said Wednesday.

Boehner: Obama "whining," "childish"
... amounts to "killing an ant with a nuclear weapon." Obama said yesterday in Racine, Wisc., that Boehner's comment illustrates that he is "out of touch."


"It's Day 71 of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. They just did a poll that says only 6 percent of Americans have a favorable view of BP, to which I say, 6 percent of Americans have a favorable view of BP? That's 18 million people. Is it possible that 18 million Americans don't know what the word favorable means?"- Jimmy Kimmel


The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam


"Here's something great. Russian spy ring here in New York City. They were busted in New York City. Once again, they were spotted by an alert T-shirt vendor." –David Letterman


Travel Alert


The nation's top civil liberties group on Wednesday issued travel alerts for Arizona, saying the state's new law cracking down on illegal immigrants could lead to racial profiling and warrantless arrests.




Disturbing News

How Do You Destroy Swine Flu Vaccine? Just Wondering.


 About a quarter of the swine flu vaccine produced for the U.S. public has expired — meaning that a whopping 40 million doses worth about $260 million is being written off as trash.



"Forbes magazine published their most powerful celebrities list. Number one was Oprah Winfrey. I'm happy to be on the list, a little farther down. I'm between Flo, the Progressive Insurance lady, and the Salahis." –David Letterman




Republican-Shenanigans News


Republicans are like pythons who have swallowed a cow of right-wing propaganda. They remain intellectually immobilized, just trying to digest it. - ProfessorDuh


Joe Scarborough Changes His Story About John Boehner Being A Lazy Lush To Being A Lazy Golfer


Joe Scarborough would like to clear something up. Yesterday he did NOT say that he “thought that John Boehner did not work hard enough, or that he went out and partied.” Later clarifying that, since Capitol Hill is very small, people know what people do, and “John Boehner is known as a guy that likes to golf, likes to have a good time and is not known as a hard worker.”




Chelsea Handler's Take on Jenna Bush As A Reporter


"'s pretty clear you got this job because of your father much like your father got his job because of his father".




Rock-The-Voter News


"The Russian spies tried to blend in. They were acting like Americans. As a matter of fact, for two weeks, they were pretending they loved soccer." –David Letterman



The Arizonian versus The Kenyan


Governor Jan Brewer is taking the immigration fight straight to President Obama.

Upset with the federal government’s inaction on combating illegal immigration, the Arizona governor has made a campaign ad that addresses the President directly.

"Washington is broken Mr. President," the governor says. "Do your job. Secure our borders."



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Biz-Tech News

Goldman Sachs Has One Hell Of An Accountant


A congressional commission pressed Goldman Sachs executives Wednesday to spell out how much their company has earned from its exotic bets against the housing market, including $20 billion in wagers that helped force a $162 billion taxpayer bailout of the American International Group .

However, Goldman's president and chief risk officer told members of the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission that their company never breaks out its figures that way.

"We can dig and dig and dig," Goldman President Gary Cohn said in sworn testimony. "We won't find that report."


"And now, in the Gulf region, demonstrators are holding hands on the beach by way of protest. Boy, that will show 'em." –David Letterman



Bush-Prison-Torture News


General Petraeus was confirmed 99- 0. Would have been 101- 0, but the chair refused to recognize Byrd and Kennedy’s votes from beyond.- Will Durst




Go-F**k-Yourself News



I hope you had a good time today



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