Monday edition - June 5, 2006


Dixies show they're still not chicken
Sydney Morning Herald, Australia - 6-5-06
WHEN Natalie Maines, the frontwoman of the Dixie Chicks, told a London audience while touring Europe in 2003 that they were ashamed President George Bush was ...

Rice Dismisses Iranian Cleric's Warning on Oil
New York Times - 6-5-06
WASHINGTON, June 4 - Iran's supreme religious leader warned Sunday that oil shipments from the Persian Gulf would be disrupted if the United States made a "wrong move" toward his country over its nuclear program

Wen Ho Lee Settles Privacy Lawsuit
Washington Post - Jun 2, 2006
Wen Ho Lee, the former nuclear weapons scientist once suspected of being a spy, settled his privacy lawsuit Friday and will receive $1.6 million from the government and five news ...


Thank you America, for awhile there I thought we were turning into sheeple.


I  believe our nation needs healing through music. We need melodic tunes. I would love to hear Natalie Maines record Dan Tyler's TRUE BLUE. Her voice gives me chills.



Bush has been forced to call for an investigation into his own intelligence. And you know what's going to happen: they're not going to find anything.  --Will Durst



The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


"You know, not even the Red Cross was interested in taking $1 million in donation for charity from us. We got a nice letter saying, thanks, but no thanks. Every tour cycle we donate money to a charity and we had wanted to put our money where our mouth was. When they turned down our money it made me so sad this could run so deep. You feel like all of a sudden you're poison." - Martie Maguire, Dixie Chicks Fiddler


Q: What happened when George Bush got a shot of testosterone?
A: He turned into his mother!




Disturbing News





Bush makes the case for an amendment to ban same-sex marriage: "If both my parents were guys, I wouldn't even be here!" -- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press


Bush Biking Update


The Secret Service arrested a man who was trying to jump the White House fence carrying a suspicious package...the incident happened shortly before noon on Sunday. President Bush, who had just wrapped up a late morning bike ride off-site, was on his way to the White House complex at the time.


All Hat No Cattle Flashback Toon 2002




Republican Shenanigans


Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, George Bush and Jane Fonda?
A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.



Is Bush's Faith this Strong?


A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.

"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.


Rock-The-Voter News




Q: Why is George Bush the living proof of reincarnation?
A: Because no one could get this stupid in one lifetime.



Circus Diosa


Biz-Tech News



Meanwhile, Back in Saudi Arabia


Osama bin Laden sees Western democratic societies as decadent and wants a world dominated by fundamentalist Islamic law. Why would the 9/11 hijackers, and others, follow bin Laden's fanatical preachings?
One disturbing answer lies in Saudi Arabia, where the Ministry of Education publishes textbooks for mandatory "Islamic studies." Parts read as if they could have been written by bin Laden, who is from Saudi Arabia, as were 15 of the 19 hijackers.



Holding more than hands.


Bush-Prison-Torture News



20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. But don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

5. Put decaf In the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".

7. Finish all of your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

8. Dont use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, in public, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "To Go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical music all

14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're just not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, 'Rock Bottom'.

17. When your money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,
"Run for your lives! They're loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity, email this to
someone to make them smile and laugh, it's called therapy!

Sent in by Rick.





Looks like Iran has us by the "barrels."-- Grant Gerver - Shot Off the Press



Damn, No Picture Available


Amid the sweaty crowds at Red Belly Day, bypassing the gospel singers, the funnel cakes and the belly-flop contest in the Suwannee River, the true believers find their way to Rep. Katherine Harris.

She wore a tight peach sweater to Red Belly Day, a festival named for a local fish, and sucked on a lollipop. “Oh, no,” aide Brian Brooks said as a photographer snapped pictures.



Go-F*ck-Yourself News




Stephen Colbert Delivers Commencement Address


"You are about to start the greatest improv of all, with no script," he said. "So say yes, and if you're lucky, you'll find people who will say yes in return. ... Cynics always say no. Saying yes leads to knowledge. So as long as you are able, say yes."


Did you have a good time today?

Please donate to keep AHNC online.


  Amazon Honor System Click Here to Pay Learn More
US Mail: Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312


Odd News

The Art of levitation. People watch German artist Johan Lorbeer as he is attached to a wall during his performance 'Tarzan' in the Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk June 4, 2006. Photo/Ilya Naymushin (RUSSIA)