Monday edition - June 29, 2009



Iran recount seen as bid to placate opposition
AP -6-29-09
EDITOR'S NOTE: Iranian authorities have barred journalists for international news organizations from reporting on the streets and ordered them to stay in their offices. This report is based on the accounts of witnesses reached in Iran and official statements carried on Iranian media.

Woman in Sanford affair confirms relationship
AP - 6-29-09
BUENOS AIRES, Argentina - South Carolina's wandering governor didn't give away her name when he confessed to having an affair with an Argentine woman, but Maria Belen Chapur has finally stepped forward...

Area pastors say Sanford may have to resign
Greenville News - Ron Barnett - ‎6-29-09‎
Mark Sanford for his marital indiscretions but at the same time send him packing, to repair his life as a private citizen. “I do think he is going to have


"Well, it's the latest political scandal. Mr. And Mrs. Sanford, you know, the Jon and Kate of politics." --David Letterman


The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

More Abuse of Our Veterans


...Guard members from Indiana, Oregon and West Virginia were protecting workers hired by a subsidiary of the giant contractor, KBR Inc., to rebuild an Iraqi water treatment plant. The area, as it turned out, was contaminated with hexavalent chromium, a potent, sometimes deadly chemical linked to cancer and other devastating diseases.

No one disputes that. But that's where agreement ends.

Among the issues now rippling from the courthouse to Capitol Hill are whether the chemical made people sick, when KBR knew it was there and how the company responded


Disturbing News


"But in this sense, Gov. Sanford is a little like President Obama. He has Friday night date night, it's just not with his wife." --David Letterman



By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rush claims that Obama’s to blame
For Sanford’s disgrace and his shame:
The stimulus bill
Destroyed Sanford’s will.
Wow, even for Limbaugh, that’s lame.

When a Democrat strays — no excuse!
Just right-wing attacks and abuse.
But conservative sins
Are spinned — turned to wins.
Try to reason with Rush? It’s no use!




Alcohol and Ammo in Arizona


There was a time in the Wild West that cowboys had to check their guns before they could pull up a bar stool for a drink — rules that protected against the saloon gunfights that came to define the frontier era in places like Arizona.

But a bill moving through the Arizona Legislature has some bar owners fearful that the state is turning back the clock to the Old West. Lawmakers are considering a bill that would allow anyone with a concealed-weapons permit to bring a handgun into bars and restaurants serving alcohol.


Republican-Shenanigans News




"Let's run this down, it was last week, Senator Ensign, Republican, he comes on the television and admits he has an affair. And this week, Governor Sanford of South Carolina, Republican, gets on the television and admits he had an affair. And I was thinking, why do the Republicans have this problem? And it finally came to me. The trouble started with Bob Dole when he was doing those commercials for Viagra." --David Letterman



David Letterman's Top Ten Surprising Facts About Governor Mark Sanford

10. Began last "State of the State" address, "Yo, what's happenin', mama?"
9. Promised his wife he'd be faithful within the 48 contiguous states
8. On Facebook, lists his relationship status as "It's complicated.
7. Becoming disgraced governor ruined his dream of becoming disgraced President.
6. Hoping scandal will get him out of attending in-laws' Fourth of July cookout.
5. Was sick and tired of Eliot Spitzer holding title "Love Gov."
4. Often gets fan mail intended for Redd Foxx.
3. His goal in life is to commit adultery on all seven continents.
2. Made it safe for me to joke about Republican governors again.
1. Entered politics because he enjoyed polling



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Rock-The-Voter News


Muslims Loved Michael



A Bahraini royal mourned him publicly, young Lebanese held a candlelight tribute, Egyptian musicians hailed him as an inspiration.

Beyond his global reach, Michael Jackson held a special place in the Muslim world, as one of the first major Western entertainers to break through cultural barriers in the 1980s.



"At a press conference yesterday, in case you don't know, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford admitted to having a mistress from Argentina. That's right. Yeah, then there was an awkward moment as he waited for someone to give him a high five." --Conan O'Brien




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Biz-Tech News

Pugnacious Pundits


MSNBC host Joe Scarborough was all set to appear this Sunday on ABC's "This Week" with George Stephanopoulos until yesterday, when Scarborough canceled because David Gregory, the host of NBC's "Meet the Press," allegedly threw a fit.



Mark Sanford checks into Jimmy Swaggart Home for Wayward Evangelicals - Grant "Brad" Gerver


Bush-Prison-Torture News


Lynndie England Update


More than two years since leaving her prison cell, the woman who became the grinning face of the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal spends most of her days confined to the four walls of her home.

Former Army reservist Lynndie England hasn't landed a job in numerous tries: When one restaurant manager considered hiring her, other employees threatened to quit.


"The governor of South Carolina, yesterday, his name is Mark Sanford, he had been missing for four days. He admitted he was visiting his mistress in Argentina, which I think is outrageous. How dare this man, a married man, in this economy, outsource to a foreign country when there are plenty of slutty women living right here in the United States. Am I right, fellow Americans?" --Jimmy Kimmel


Go-F**k-Yourself News


Quarterly Fund Raiser



Donations since Friday - Thanks to Jonathan, Kathy, Brian, Ann, John, BJ and ZMac!


If you can, please support All Hat No Cattle

Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312



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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo



Pabst competes in the World's Ugliest Dog Contest at the Sonoma-Marin Fair on Friday, June 26, 2009, in Petaluma, Calif. The toothy 4-year-old Boxer mix won top honors.

Photo/Noah Berger





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