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All Hat No Cattle laughs at people pretending to be something they're not. Toons and funny one liners to lessen the hard right blows.

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Wednesday edition - June 28, 2006

 

Amendment to ban flag desecration dies by a vote in Senate
San Francisco Chronicle - 6-27-06
he Senate fell one vote short Tuesday of the two-thirds margin needed to pass a constitutional amendment that would have given Congress the power to ban desecration of the US flag after a debate that pitted the importance ...
 

Rice Tries to Calm Tensions Between Pakistan and Afghanistan
Washington Post - 6-28-06

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice sought Tuesday to heal a rift between Pakistan and Afghanistan, two Muslim allies of the United States, but tensions spilled ...
 

Iraq violence displaces 150,000 - UN agency
Reuters AlertNet, UK - 6-27-06

Iraq National Security Adviser Muwafaq al-Rubai (L) greets newly released prisoners at the Abu Ghraib prison compound in Baghdad June 27, 2006.


 

The only people I have seen desecrate the flag are in the White House, Congress and those activist judges, the US Supremes in s-election 2000.

 


 

The Census Bureau reported that Las Vegas is about to pass Washington D.C. in population. Of course there's a huge difference between Vegas and Washington. See, in Las Vegas, people gamble with their own money. -- Jay Leno

 


 


 


 

 

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


 

When All Else Fails, Rush Blames Clinton

 

Limbaugh joked about the search on his radio show Tuesday, saying Customs officials didn't believe him when he said he got the pills from the library of former President Bill Clinton, and that he was told the tablets were blue M&Ms. He later added, chuckling: "I had a great time in the Dominican Republic. Wish I could tell you about it."

 



 

Elsewhere, after a new study showed that boys with older brothers are more likely to be gay, President Bush proposed a constitutional amendment banning older brothers. -- Andy Borowitz


 


Disturbing News

 


 

 


 

“The big story continues to be those seven men arrested in Miami for terrorist activities. The FBI said the men thought they were dealing with a member of al Qaeda. Turns out it was actually an undercover police officer instead. Yeah. So let that be a lesson to everybody out there. Whenever you're approached by someone claiming to be al Qaeda, always ask for an ID.” -- Jay Leno

 


 

Shooting the Messengers

 

It is hard to avoid the suspicion that the President and his administration are engaged in a "shoot the messenger" exercise aimed at fending off public attention or congressional oversight of yet another secret surveillance program that poses substantial constitutional, legal and privacy issues.

 


Republican Shenanigans

 


 

 


 

The NSA, FBI, CIA, and Homeland Security take over all media in order to "secure" the nation. . -- Grant Gerver

 


E-mail

 

Lisa,
Why would such a huge d*ck like Rush Limbaugh need Viagra ANYWAY?
Just asking.

Anthony

 

Hahahahahaha

 


Rock-The-Voter News

 

 


 

Magic Mirror fun with Bush


Ralph Nader, Al Gore, and George W. Bush went to a fitness spa for some fun.

After a stimulating, healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the men's room and they found a strange-looking gent sitting at the entrance. He said:

"Welcome to the gentlemen's room. Be sure to check out our newest feature, a mirror that, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be rewarded with your wish. But, be warned: if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to
live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!"

The three men quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, Ralph Nader stepped up and said, "I think I'm the most truthful of us three," and he suddenly found
the keys to a brand new Bentley in his hands.

Al Gore stepped up and said, "I think I'm the most ambitious of us three," and in an instant, he was surrounded by a pile of money to fund his next Presidential Campaign.

Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, George W. Bush looked into the mirror and said, "I think...," and was promptly sucked into the mirror.

 



 


 

Claiming it's bad PR, major oil companies force gas stations to stop displaying prices . -- Grant Gerver

 


E-mail

 

I just sent you money via snail mail. It's not even worth mentioning,
but if everyone who hit your site sent you what I did, you would be
loaded. I love your links. Keep up the good work.

Albert J

 

Thank you Albert!  I am amazed at the wonderful response I have received. I have received over 50 US Mail donations.

 

I guess you all are stuck with me!  A viewer even sent me postage stamps so I can send you all thank you notes.  I am still answering e-mails!

 

Thank you AHNC viewers! Do you think it's possible that we are a cult? And does that qualify me for an IRS deduction?

 

 


 

Biz/Tech News

 


 

 

This photo released by the United States Marine Corps shows Staff Sgt. Raymond Plouhar, 30, of Lake Orion, Mich., handing candy to students at the Al Nabatiya Elementary School on May 9, 2006 in Iraq. Plouhar, who appeared in Michael Moore's acclaimed documentary 'Fahrenheit 9/11' died Monday, June 26, 2006, of wounds suffered while conducting combat operations in the Al Anbar province of Iraq, the Defense Department announced Tuesday. (Photo/US Marine Corps, Cpl. Mark Sixbey)

 


 

"The flooding was so bad in Washington that New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin called the president and said, 'You're on your own pal.'" --Jay Leno

 


 

 

 


 

www.offthewahl.com

 

 


Bush-Prison-Torture News

 


 


 

 

“They also had flooding at the Internal Revenue Service and had to close that down. They said some records may have been lost. Good!” -- Jay Leno

 


Go-F*ck-Yourself News


 

You can shoot someone in the face, but you can't burn the flag? . -- Grant Gerver

 


 

 

 


 

Some happy news... According to the National Enquirer, Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are getting married. He gave her a 2-karat diamond ring -- bringing her total weight now to 3 karats. -- Jay Leno

 


Odd News


 

Granite blocks are seen in Amapa, Brazil, on May 10, 2006. A grouping of 127 granite blocks along a grassy Amazon hilltop may be the vestiges of South America's oldest astronomical observatory, according to archeologists who say the find challenges long-held assumptions about the region's prehistory. The blocks, some standing as high as 3 meters are spaced at regular intervals around the hill like a crown some 30 meters in diameter, near the village of Calcoene just north of the equator near the coast of the Amapa state, which borders with French Guyana in far northern Brazil. (Photo/GOVERNO DE AMAPA, Gilmar Nascimento)

 

Peace.

 

 

 

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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.

 

 

 


 

 

 

Daily Frontpage   Archives     You might be a right wing Republican if..What Liberal Media?   Republican Presidential Quotations   Bush-Cheney Political Contributions   Cream of the Crop Links  T-Shirts, Mugs and More    Please donate so I can put food on my family  Subscribe to AHNC About AHNC   Advertise on All Hat No Cattle  Contact me  Copyright Notice


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