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Wednesday edition - June 25, 2008
John
McCain and Barack Obama bickering. And you know what they’re bickering about
now? What to do when they catch Osama bin Laden — that’s right. Obama wants to
bring him to trial, John McCain wants to shoot him — both really good ideas. And
I said to myself, “Guys, guys, how about somebody finding him first?” -
David
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
Meanwhile, South of the Border
Suspected drug hitmen killed six people in Ciudad Juarez in northern Mexico on Tuesday, the latest in a killing spree that has left 41 people dead in the city since the start of the weekend, police said.
Nothing
Says Capitalist Pig …
Disturbing News
Surprise, Surprise
Senior Justice Department
officials
broke civil service laws by rejecting scores of young applicants who had
links to Democrats or liberal organizations, according to a biting report issued
yesterday.
News item:
President Bush, after touring parts of Illinois
flood
Sent in by Pudgeboy, AHNC viewer
George W
summoned the country's top scientists for a meeting, during which he announced,
"I changed my mind about us going to Mars. I think it'd be a great idea if we
sent a manned mission to the Sun." The sounds of stifled groans, clearings of
throats, and nervous laughter filled the room. "What," demanded George W, "is
the matter with that idea?"
Sent in by Bill, AHNC viewer
Republican-Shenanigans News
Bush Gets Forty Thousand People To Hate Him In One Fell Swoop
British Airways has criticized Heathrow owner BAA for allowing George Bush to fly into the UK's biggest airport, forcing the cancellation of at least 69 flights and disrupting the travel plans of 40,000 passengers.
"Barack Obama, I always thought of him as just a guy. But apparently now he's started a fashion trend. He's started a fashion trend, and Italy is designing clothing based on how Barack Obama dresses. And I said yeah, that will connect him with the angry working-class voters. That's what he wants." --David Letterman
"John McCain. He's inspired a new line of clothing, and I believe if you want some of the John McCain stuff, it's being sold at the Very Old Navy." --David Letterman Rock-The-Voter News
Latest polls show Barack Obama leading John McCain by 15 points. The last time Democrats had this kind of a lead was John Kerry over George Bush four whole years ago. Oh. – Will Durst
Biz-Tech News
Bush Memorial You'll Like
A group going
by the regal-sounding name of the Presidential Memorial Commission of San
Francisco is planning to ask voters here to change the name of a prize-winning
water treatment plant on the shoreline
to the George W. Bush Sewage Plant.
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"John McCain says that if elected president, he will give a $300 million prize to anyone who can design a new car battery. McCain can get a new type of battery invented because he's the guy that came up with the idea of not cranking the car up at the start." --Craig Ferguson
Go-F**k-Yourself News
I hope you had a good time today Please support All Hat No Cattle Offline Donation Lisa Casey PO Box 88 Ashford. AL 36312 Click here to e-mail a comment Odd News
This artist
rendering released by Dynamic Architecture shows a rotating skyscraper that is
to be built in Dubai. An Italian architect said he is poised to start
construction on a new skyscraper that will be 'the world's first building in
motion,' an 80-story tower with revolving floors that give it an ever-shifting
shape.
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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