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Monday edition - June 23, 2008
"When
you're born in the world you're given a ticket to the freak show; when you're
born in America you're given a front-row seat." - George Carlin , comedian
1937-2008
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
Meanwhile, Back In Syria
A Syrian newspaper is accusing the U.S. of making false nuclear accusations against Damascus. It's expressing hope that a fact-finding trip by nuclear inspectors to Syria will not turn into a "prolonged affair."
NBC: Brokaw gets "Meet the Press" through election AP
Presidential candidates are asking for a clean campaign. Obama doesn’t want to be called Muslim, McCain doesn’t want to be called old, and Nader is begging everybody to call him. – Pedro Bartes
Disturbing News
McCain Agrees to Forego ‘527s,’ in Favor of ‘666s’By Don Davis Senate Republicans blocked a bill that would extend unemployment benefits to all Americans for three months. One can only hope they’ll regret this decision after November. – Will Durst
Obama's Flip Democratic Senator Barack Obama's decision not to accept public funds for his presidential campaign puts the financing system at risk, said Senator Joe Biden, an Obama supporter. "No one four years ago could have predicted that an African-American and a woman would have been competing for the presidency of the United States in 2008" - Hillary Clinton
Republican-Shenanigans News
John McCain’s daughter is writing a children’s book based her father’s life. The children’s book is called, “James and the Giant Prostate.” - Conan O'Brien
Let The Lawsuits Begin
The school board of a small central Ohio community voted Friday to fire a teacher accused of preaching his Christian beliefs despite staff complaints and burning the image of a cross on students' arms, according to the Associated Press.
Rock-The-Voter News
Today Ralph Nader attacked Barack Obama for refusing to accept public financing for his campaign and said that Obama was too closely tied to big business. Then the guy sitting next to Nader on the park bench said, “Shut up.” - Conan O'Brien
Biz-Tech News
Still Trying After All These Years
Lawyers for the White House and Congress are headed to court Monday in a dispute over whether top aides to President Bush must provide evidence in a House investigation.
McCain Vows to Campaign in All 13 Colonies Andy Borowitz
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Comic pioneer George Carlin dies at 71
Winnebago has reported a 73 percent drop in quarterly sales. Despite the downturn, analysts paint some positive news. This decreases the chance relatives will park in front of your house. - Laughlines
Go-F**k-Yourself News
In a surprise move today, Internet Movie Data Base has up graded from schlock fiction the film “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.” The film went from “B Movie” to “Cult Classic” to “Documentary” all in one day. – Robt Stupple
Doesn't she look so much better? Actually, all I did was give Cindy McCain a haircut.
I hope you had a good time today Please support All Hat No Cattle Offline Donation Lisa Casey PO Box 88 Ashford. AL 36312 Click here to e-mail a comment Odd News
The owner of a tiny island in off Scotland declared its independence from the United Kingdom on Saturday, saying he wanted the territory, population one, to be a crown dependency like the Channel Islands. In a declaration on his Web site, Stuart Hill, who owns the 2.5 acre island of Forvik in the Shetland Islands in the North Sea. "I also invite anyone from any country in the world, who supports these aims, namely to become free of liars, thieves and tyrants in government, to become a citizen of Forvik," Hill said. Photo/John McHugh
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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