Kerry should save himself
some advertising money and just sit back and watch.
"Only
12 days until we hand Iraq back over to the Iraqis. I don't think we're getting
our security deposit back." —Jimmy Kimmel
"NBC
announced that during the summer Olympics they will set a new record by airing
over 1200 hours of coverage. Which is amazing because that's 10 hours longer
than the coverage of Reagan's funeral." –Conan
O’Brien
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam-News
Alternate
Meanings for Words
The Washington Post published its yearly
contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate
meanings for various words. And the winners are...
1. Coffee
(n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you
have
gained.
3. Abdicate
(v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
4. Esplanade
(v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent
(adj.), describes a condition in which you
absent-mindedl answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph
(v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle
(n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up
after
you are run over by a steamroller
10.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle
(n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed
by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster
(n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation
with
Yiddish expressions
14. Pokemon
(n), A Jamaican proctologist.
15.
Frisbeetarianism (n), The belief that, when you die,
your
Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer
shorts.
Disturbing News
Bush-Prisoner-torture-News
Republican Shenanigans
Republican Moonies?
Hail to the Moon king
The deeply weird coronation of Rev. Sun Myung Moon in a Senate office
building -- crown, robes, the works -- is no longer one of Washington's
best-kept secrets.
By John Gorenfeld
June 21,
2004 | You probably imagine your congressman hard at work in the Capitol
debating legislation, making laws -- you know, governing. But your newspaper
probably didn't tell you that one night in March, members of Congress hosted a
crowning ritual for an ex-convict and multibillionaire who dressed up in maroon
robes and declared himself the Second Coming....
Dayton, Coleman surprised that event was linked to Rev. Moon
Duluth News Tribune, MN - 6-22-04
I
wonder if we are being taken over by the Christian right or Sun Myung Moon? Just
asking.
"The
former president and future best-selling author, Chelsea's father and my
constituent." -- Sen. HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON introducing husband BILL
CLINTON at his book party in New York, according to the New York Post.
Fans Line Up to Buy Clinton's Book
ABC News - 6-22-04
NEW YORK June 22, 2004 — Eager for a few seconds of face time
with their idol, hundreds of Bill Clinton's fans crowded along several city
blocks Tuesday near ...
Have fans
ever lined up to buy a book by a republican president?
"Bill
Clinton said in an interview that will air on 60 Minutes, that he had an
affair with Monica Lewinsky because he could -- and that he was with Paula Jones
because he lost a bet."
Jay Leno
www.buckfush.com
Cheney's Churns Change the Dialogue from The Daily Scribble
"Rumors have restarted
that the Republican ticket will not be Bush-Cheney. But today those rumors were
put to rest when Cheney said, 'No, I'm keeping him on the ticket.'" —Jay
Leno
Good News
Biz/Tech
News
"John
McCain was out campaigning with President Bush over the weekend. And the White
House said they're doing it because they are on the same team. You know kind of
the way Shaq and Kobe are on the same team." Jay Leno
John Kerry News
Break Time
Odd News
A molten
mixture of gold, silver, copper and zinc that will be used to make 1,650 rings
for U.S. Olympic athletes, coaches and staff is poured out of a furnace
Thursday, June 17, 2004, at OC Tanner in Salt Lake City.(HO/Olympic Committee)
Peace.
