June 2,  2004 Wednesday


Bush Joins Meeting of Faith-Based Groups
Washington Post 6-2-04

The cover of the glossy, full-color booklet being distributed during a conference at the Washington Hilton yesterday showed a flaming shrub and proclaimed: "Not everyone has a burning bush to tell them their life's calling."

The Old Testament imagery suggested a religious tract, but this was a government brochure.

The guide, published by the Department of Labor, tells congregations….


Preaching to the Choir, Bush Encourages Religious Gathering
New York Times, NY

… Mr. Bush had signed an executive order on Tuesday morning creating religion-based offices in the Department of Veterans Affairs, the Department of Commerce and the Small Business Administration…

Experts See Possible Conflicts for Ryder
Guardian, UK  6-2-04

WASHINGTON (AP) - The Army general who reported last fall there was no mistreatment at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq also commands the criminal investigators now pursuing the abuse cases...

I'm not sure if Bush is drunk on alcohol or power--maybe both-- that might explain the burning bush brochure distributed by the Department of Labor. This is getting creepy. I'm going to start wearing garlic around my neck.

"President Bush has been campaigning around the country and today the crowd got so pumped up they started chanting, 'Four more wars, four more wars.'" —Craig Kilborn




“On behalf of my stellar cast — GW, Dick, Rummy, Condi and Wolfie — we thank this incredible coalition of the willing for bringing ’Fahrenheit 9/11’ to the people.” -Michael Moore getting ready to visually stick it to compassionate conservatives

 Fahrenheit 9 / 11 ’ finds domestic distributor San Mateo Daily Journal, CA 


Senator sacked me over tales of congress

What do you do after your online sex blog hits the headlines and loses you your job? Jessica Cutler reveals all

Guardian - Wednesday June 2, 2004

Imagine dropping your diary on the street somewhere, and the next day, it's world news. That's what happened to me several days ago. Except, I posted my diary on a blog - the
Washingtonienne - so my friends could read it for fun. As a young single woman, the diary was mostly about my sex life. I could not believe anybody besides them would want to read such a thing. But thirteen days later, it was all over Capitol Hill…click here for entire story


The Most Important Thing I Learned in School This Year


The following is an essay written by a High School sophomore in Freyburg, Maine, as the essay part of the final exam in his English class. His teacher sent it to CounterPunch as an example of the uprightness of modern youth.


The most important lesson I learned this year in school is to pay attention in class and not to doodle while the teacher is talking. The worst thing you can do is draw a picture that shows President Bush's head on a pole with blood gushing out of his bulging eyesballs. If you do something like this, it means you're probably going to blow up the Oklahoma Book Depsitory, or fly remote conrtrol planes into the White House, like the CIA did on 9/11. Even if you're only 15 like me, you can hijack a bus (like Sandra Bullock did in that cool movie, Speed), and drive it into the Bush ranch at Waco, and burn all the children to death.

I learned that drawing pictures of the President with his arms growing out of his head is no laughing matter. It's bad to make the President look stupider than he already is. You can't draw him writing memos on wide-ruled paper with a crayon, or dressed up like a cowboy and playing with toy pistols in the Awful Office. That type of humor isn't funny. You can't make him look like Alfred E. Newman from Mad Magazine, with blood gushing out of his ears.

It is OK to draw a picture of Saddam Hussein on all fours, with Condolisa Rice in a furry African bikini and rings around her neck, holding the evildooer on a leash, and Donald Rumsfeld whacking him on the behind and making him bark like a dog, because that's just a frat prank (like the sexy girl soldier Lindy English did at that prison in IsraelI mean Iraq). But the President is God, which is why his picture is on the dollar bill, and why you can't make him look like an elephant like those soldiers did. You know. Kneeling with his feet up in the air and one finger in his nose and the other in his anus. That's really bad.

You can't draw the president's face on a stick, even if you make it look like a lollypop or a Bubblehead doll. You are a bad person if you do that and if you do that, the Secret Police will come to your house at midnight and make you stand on a box with a shopping bag over your head and electrodes attached to your generals. Then they'll bulldoze your house into dust! (Which is way cool to see them do that on TV.)

If you make fun of the president that means you hate him and are a enemy combatant. The president has so much to worry about, like his physical fitness and if he takes his sedatives on time, he doesn't need some wise-ass kid sneaking into the Lincoln bedroom at night and fucking his wife (you shouldn't say fuck), or his really cute daughters, who drink a lot and fall down at parties and are pretty easy. The president was bad too, like his daughters, before he learned that Jesus wanted him to kill all the Arabs. The president is truly blessed, so you can't tell your freinds you made a videotape of him masturbating and sent it to Seymour Hersh. You can't do that, because one of your friends may be an informer for Homeland Security and then they'll chop your fucking head off!

What I learned this year is that the President is not someone to mock. Even if he is an idiot and a war criminal who deserves to be hanged, and even if no one in the media has the balls to say so. (You shouldn't say balls either.)

Billy Wilson

Billy Wilson can be reached through his teacher at: redspruce@comcast.net

Republican Shenanigans


Disturbing News




Crawford mayor is Kerry supporter
Macon Telegraph, GA - 6-1-04
BY GROMER JEFFERS JR. (KRT) - Crawford may be the heart of Bush country, but the town's mayor says John Kerry is the best choice for president. ...

Missing Propane Trucks Spur Alert
CBS News -6-2-04
(CBS/AP) Two propane-delivery trucks were stolen from a gas company over the holiday weekend, raising fears of what could happen if terrorists got hold of the ..


Jenna Jogging for Jesus

U.S. President George Bush's daughter Jenna jogs on a pilgrimage to the Holy City of Santiago de Compostela near Melide, northwestern Spain, Tuesday June 1, 2004. Jenna and her friends started the estimated 180 kilometer, 112 mile, pilgrimage last Saturday and are expected to arrive in Santiago in two days after completing 30 kilometers, 19 miles, a day.

Jenna hits the pilgrimage trail in Spain Hello Travel Magazine

Inquiring minds want to know, has Jenna been born again?

George W Bush Biography


The Bushes need pruning.

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"The Catholic church has been through so much recently," Gina Morgan said. "I am glad I don't have to make that decision."

Reaction of Chicago cathedral parishioner to archbishop's enforced order to refuse communion to gay-identified worshippers.

Ain't it reassuring to belong to a group that does your thinking for you?


Maybe this is the reason why our founding fathers believed in separation of church and state.

I bet they never envisioned pedophile priests in that equation.

"President Bush is leaving Washington for a long vacation. I'm sorry that's November's joke." —Craig Kilborn

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."

-- President Bush, meeting Iraqi amputees at the White House on May 25.
Making Hay Out of Straw Men 
By Dana Milbank - Washington Post

Nursery Crimes

A Dinar, a Dollar,
a 'C' minus scholar,
What makes you
so blind and dumb?
You watch them die
and turn your back;
flip-flop 'til your
mind is all numb.

John Grant - Japan

Biz/Tech News

GAO: Pentagon Gulf War Illness Data Wrong
Tallahassee Democrat, FL - 6-2-04
... The Defense Department refused to accept a GAO recommendation to stop using the computer modeling data for studies on Gulf War illness. ...  

"President Bush announced that the Abu Ghraib prison will be closed. Another place Bush put out of business." —Jay Leno

10 Questions for Rush Limbaugh

Time -6-2-04

TIME's Richard Zoglin was last week's caller.


Let me just share with you what I read in a newspaper when the Eagles signed [receiver] Terrell Owens. They said now McNabb has no excuse. What happened after [my comments], I inoculated McNabb from any criticism the rest of the year because nobody, of course, could dare run the risk of agreeing with Rush Limbaugh. So whenever McNabb threw an interception, it was a receiver's fault or an offensive lineman's fault. He was incapable of making a mistake. He owes me a lot...

Is arrogance a symptom of OxyContin abuse?


Odd News


Good News

WASHINGTON (IWR News Parody) - President Bush in a rare Rose Garden news conference said that the new interim Iraq leaders appointed today were "technically not puppets", but really more like those "friendly Muppets guys". 

"I mean you just wanna grab a hold of one of those pudgy little suckers and give him big hug and then a kiss on his bald greasy head.

In that way, they're a lot like Cheney. He's like a wind up automaton of the gas and oil industry. You know, like that little monkey that plays the cymbals that I have on my desk in the Oval Office.

Shoot.  I've even heard that some folks have called me Karl Rove's puppet, but that kind of talk don't bother me none, then again, I don't read newspapers cause my doctor said it gives me hypertension, whatever the heck that is," said Mr. Bush. 



Lava from the Kilauea Volcano in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park enters the Pacific Ocean at dawn Tuesday, June 1, 2004, in Volcano, Hawaii, as a photographer retreats. (HO)



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*roflol means rolling on floor laughing out loud