Wednesday edition - June 17, 2009

 

 

Sen. Ensign Acknowledges an Extramarital Affair
Washington Post 6-17-09
Sen. John Ensign (R-Nev.) admitted Tuesday he had an extramarital affair with a woman who was a member of his campaign staff.

 

Possible threats spur $20M bond for Tiller suspect
The Associated Press - ‎6-17-09
(AP) — A judge took possible threats made by the man accused of killing abortion provider George Tiller seriously enough that he raised his bond to $20 million...

Obama to OK benefits for same-sex partners of federal workers
CNN - 6-17-09

WASHINGTON (CNN) – President Obama will sign a memorandum Wednesday granting health care and other benefits to the same-sex partners of federal employees, two senior administration officials said.


 

At least Sen. Ensign is straight. That's a relative "win" for the Republicans these days.

 


 

"And then, after the elections, the supreme leader in Iran certified the election results and shipped the crooked voting machines back to Florida." --David Letterman
 


 

 


The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam


 

"In a major speech Sunday, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called for the Palestinians to get their own state. Unfortunately, the state he offered them is New Jersey." --Conan O'Brien
 


 More Threats From North Korea

 

North Korea warned Wednesday of a "thousand-fold" military retaliation against the U.S. and its allies if provoked, the latest threat in a drumbeat of rhetoric in defense of its rogue nuclear program.

 


 

 


 

Disturbing News


 

"Well, the results from Iran's presidential elections are in. And Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has declared victory. But his opponent, Mir-Hossein Mousavi, is claiming ballot fraud and wants an investigation. If that doesn't work, he's planning on making a documentary about global warming." --Jimmy Fallon

 


ConocoPhillips CEO Gurgles

 

Government efforts to curb climate change could soon spur an oil crisis more severe than those already experienced, the head of oil and gas giant ConocoPhillips has said...Mulva acknowledged that climate change was a "serious problem" but said attempts to limit the use of fossil fuels through taxes and restrictive regulations will simply raise the cost for the consumer and harm the economy.

 


 

 

http://alice.bigbig.com/


 

Republican-Shenanigans News


 

The Letterman Protest Nuts You’ve Been Hearing About - Wonkette

 


 

http://alice.bigbig.com/

 


 

Gag Me With A Spoon

 

 

 Pensacola News Journal columnist Joe Scarborough, the host of the MSNBC talk show "Morning Joe," is on a promotional tour for his second book, "The Last Best Hope: Restoring Conservatism and America's Promise." In his absence his column is being written by show co-host, Mika Brzezinski.

 

I drank my cup of joe while reading this column and realized I drank a cup of stupid after reading it. The pure and glorious "journalist" Mika should be working for a Public Relations firm. And at the end of her PR piece she takes a shot at fellow MSNBC, newcomer Ed Shultz.

 


 

 


 

"Election returns are kind of hard to believe. According to the numbers, both opposition candidates lost to Ahma-Dinna-Jacket in their hometowns. That's like Barack Obama losing in the city of Chicago. I'm not, in any way, suggesting Iranian politics are as corrupt as Chicago, but even Blagojevich is like, 'Oh, they're good.'" --Craig Ferguson
 


Rock-The-Voter News


 

 


 

"But there were problems with the ballots in the Iranian election. And who would have thought that? There was a mistake. Thousands of Iranians ended up voting for Pat Buchanan." --David Letterman

 


 

 

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Barack Obama: The human flyswatter

 


 

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Biz-Tech News


 

"It's been reported Marvel Comics is getting set to bring back Captain America. They're going to do this as soon as they get a loan from Captain China." --Conan O'Brien

 


 


 


Bush-Prison-Torture News


 

Ayatollah Kakamami Names Dick Cheney to Iranian Presidency The Spoof (satire)

 


 

 


 

Ahmadinejad says his election is no less valid than Bush's two. - Grant "Brad" Gerver

 


Go-F**k-Yourself News


 

A Father's Day wish: I don't need another tie. I need a job.- Grant "Brad" Gerver Bumper Sticker Division

 


 

 


 

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Odd News


To Help You Deflate Photo

 

 

Pregnant women with their bellies painted take part in an event to celebrate "Healthy Maternity Week" in Lima, Peru on May 20, 2009.
Photo/Enrique Castro-Mendivil

 

Peace.

 


 


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