Thursday edition - June 11, 2009
to Miss California: You're fired
Suspect in museum shooting was on anti-hate groups' radar
Minn. court orders Coleman to pay $95K to Franken
President Obama is proposing a new national healthcare plan that’s both inexpensive and accessible. He’s calling it Have Your Surgery In Mexico.- Jimmy Fallon
"In Iran, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is in a tight race. This guy is everywhere trying to drum up support. On Sunday, he was on the Iranian talk show, 'Eliminate the Press.'" --David Letterman
in Kentucky is asking parishioners to bring their guns to church to help
celebrate the Fourth of July and the Second Amendment. The church loves the
idea. Donations have gone up 500% since they started passing the collection
plate at gunpoint.- Jimmy Fallon
Morning Joe thinks Jon Stewart is short - SeattlePI
Sarah Palin attacks David Letterman over 'sexually-perverted' joke New York Daily News
Glenn Beck Blames Obama for Museum Shootout
Glenn Beck and two of his guests argued that Adolph Hitler and the Nazi Party were "leftwing"; that "political correctness" led the committed white supremacist, James Von Brunn, to shoot a security guard at the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC; and that ultimately President Barack Obama is the one responsible for the violence because his "bailouts" and "Socialistic" policies are engendering widespread anger.
God does not have a birth certificate and neither does Obama. - Rush Limbaugh, Domestic Terrorist
Challengers to Sarah Palin
Former Republican state Rep. Ralph Samuels is considering a challenge of Gov. Sarah Palin in next year's election, and Valdez Republican Rep. John Harris says he plans to run for governor if Palin doesn't.
Stephen Colbert, and I am reporting for duty. Folks, right off the top, I want
to thank the USO for bringing me and my show to our brave men and women in
uniform in Baghdad, Iraq. Thank you so much. I have to say, this place is great.
I've always loved the beach, but I hate the ocean, so this is perfect!" --Stephen
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Bank Bailout Turns Out to Have Been Good Business for US
When Congress passed the $700 billion Wall Street bailout package last fall, critics said it'd be a money loser. But when 10 banks returned $68 billion of the money on Tuesday, President Barack Obama said the government had realized a small profit.
Did it really?
Hey, yesterday, Hezbollah was defeated in the Lebanese elections. That’s right. Hezbollah was defeated… so now they have no choice but to merge with Fiat.- David Letterman
Gitmo suicide had been prisoners' representative The Associated Press
Professor claims DoD inflates Gitmo recidivism The Associated Press
40th Anniversary of the Loss of Rivet Amber June 5, 1969 - June 5, 2009
Turn Down The Volume
Congress soon might mute
screaming TV-ad announcers who press viewers to "buy now!" — if broadcasters
don't beat the lawmakers to the volume button.
Under a proposal to be taken up Thursday, the Federal Communications Commission would squelch ad volumes to the average decibels of the TV show during which they appear.
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Joan Rivers calls Kate Gosselin a dumb b*tch Examiner.com
Conan O'Brien's 'Tonight Show' slips in ratings Los Angeles Times
Swearing TV chef rebuked Reuters
To Help You Deflate Photo
A handout photo shows "La Patera" (The Raft) a 2002 pastel on paper depicts the body of a 1950s U.S. sedan supported by a profusion of black male legs. The Cuban art market is showing signs of vitality as the economic recession weakens demand for works from elsewhere in Latin America, collectors said. A Cuban painting was the top seller in May's Latin American art auctions in New York. American collectors of Asian art are now snapping up Cuban contemporary works and Cuban art galleries are also springing up. Photo/The Farber Collection