Thursday edition - June 10, 2010




StanChart makes case for PetroChina-BP deal
A takeover of energy giant BP Plc by PetroChina makes economic sense and will help transform the Chinese oil company into a global oil champion, Standard Chartered said in a research note on Thursday.

BP shares plunge as U.S. threatens new penalties

The shares of oil giant BP Plc continued falling on Thursday on concerns about the costs the British company will face in the massive Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

BP's plan to protect spill workers inadequate, experts say

McClatchy Newspapers – Wed Jun 9, 8:25 pm ET
BP's plan to protect workers fighting the massive oil spill in the Gulf, which the Coast Guard approved on May 25, exposes them to higher levels of toxic chemicals than generally accepted practices permit.


"The BP oil spill turned 50 days old today. If you get it a cake, don’t light the candles." –Jimmy Kimmel



The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam



Pointing their rifles, Mexican security forces chased away U.S. authorities investigating the shooting of a 15-year-old Mexican by a U.S. Border Patrol agent on the banks of the Rio Grande...South of the border, Mexican news media were filled with images of the 15-year-old's bloody body and his grieving relatives. One tabloid ran a large photograph on its cover, with the banner headline "Gringaderas," salty slang that roughly translates as "things Americans do."



"The only commercial airline in Iraq, Iraqi Airways, folded this week. The CEO of Iraqi Airlines said the company could not survive in a market where everybody in the country is on the no-fly list." –Jay Leno





Disturbing News

Worst Oil Disaster Orchestrated By the Worst CEO


Whether it’s a $50 million TV commercial blitz or BP CEO Tony Hayward snapping to a reporter that he wanted “his life back,” the company behind the nation’s worst oil disaster in history can’t seem to get its message right.

Now, the latest media misstep, according to media watchdogs and industry experts: the company has been buying up the top Internet search terms such as “oil spill” or “BP” – a move that places its corporate website at the top of search results pages.




"A great day for President Obama. He addressed a group of senior citizens in Maryland today. He's pitching his health care bill. According to a poll, half the seniors thought the president was convincing, 30 percent thought he was unconvincing, and the rest thought he was Will Smith." –Craig Ferguson



Republican-Shenanigans News




"You know who performed at the Rush Limbaugh wedding? Elton John. Isn't that amazing? It proves that there's absolutely no ideological gap that a million-dollar check can't bridge." –David Letterman


Rock-The-Voter News



Obama 'to help' Philippine president-elect quit smoking


Barack Obama has offered to help Philippine president-elect Benigno Aquino quit smoking, as the US leader phoned to extend his congratulations, the incoming Filipino leader said Thursday.



"There are signs the divorce is starting to get ugly. In fact, today, Tipper Gore stopped recycling and bought a Humvee." –Jay Leno





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Biz-Tech News


"It's amazing to me, the new unemployment figures are not good. A lot of people out of work, yet somehow the CEO of British Petroleum still manages to keep his job." –Jay Leno




Bush's Prison: Guantanamo Has A Go-Cart Track And a KFC/Taco Bell!


U.S. military has spent at least $500 million in recent years on renovations to Guantanamo Bay, including $296,000 for a go-kart track, records show....Since January 2002, the Pentagon built the go-kart track, which sits unused, and spent $249,000 for a volleyball court that now is abandoned and $3.5 million for 27 playgrounds that often are vacant, the Post reported. A cafe renovation cost $683,000 and another $773, 000 was spent to renovate a building to house a KFC/Taco Bell restaurant.



"BP CEO Tony Hayward said he would just like to get his life back. He wants to get his life back. You know, I say give him life plus 20." –Jay Leno


Go-F**k-Yourself News



"In 2005, Hurricane Katrina wreaked havoc on the Gulf of Mexico. In 2010, the gulf was devastated by the largest offshore oil spill in U.S. history, but the fun is just beginning. The governors of the Gulf Coast states are pleased to announce they are now accepting bids for the next disaster to hit the region in 2015. Will it be a volcanic eruption, an earthquake, an avalanche, killer bees, a meteor, piranhas, zombies or high-frequency sound waves?" –David Letterman



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