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Thursday edition - May 8, 2008
Ponder this: Rush followers probably use as much OxyContin as he does.
"How about the presidential Democratic campaign, the primaries? Whoa, are you kidding me? I mean, today they're in Indiana. My home state. And also North Carolina. And then, after that, they go to Canada. And then after the Canadian primaries, they go to Europe. They do the European [primaries], and the election is still three years away." --David Letterman
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam
"The government started mailing out those rebate checks. You get 600 bucks, plus $300 for every child you have. Finally, some good news for those Texas polygamists." --Jay Leno
Jon Stewart, Journalist?
If you flip on
"The Daily Show" on Comedy Central expecting just laughs, think again. A new
study shows the popular late night "news" report is giving more news-related
offerings than people might think.
Disturbing News
Anthrax Update
A lawsuit seeking to hold
the federal government and a private laboratory responsible for the
2001 anthrax death of a Boca Raton photo editor went to the Florida Supreme
Court on Monday.
Subject: Hillary should quit
Lisa, Hillary should quit. Obama should NOT ask her to be VP. She has high negatives. Democrats need to unite behind Obama 100%. End of story. Love your site. Kathy,Atlanta,GA
Thanks for writing, Kathy.
OK, if Hillary quits today, here are three possible scenarios.
I wonder what Obama will do?
Republican-Shenanigans-News
"Hey,
President Bush's daughter Jenna is getting married this weekend. There'll be 200
guests at the wedding, which, according the latest polls, means that 140 of
those people at the wedding disapprove of the job President Bush is doing."
--Jay Leno Republicans Still Sexing It Up!
Embattled
Staten Island Republican Rep. Vito Fossella's wife was blindsided by allegations
he may have fathered a love child, and is unlikely to stay at his side if it
turns out to be true, a source close to the family said.
Rock-The-Voter-News
"How about
the presidential Democratic campaign, the primaries? Whoa, are you kidding me? I
mean, today they're in Indiana. My home state. And also North Carolina. And
then, after that, they go to Canada. And then after the Canadian primaries, they
go to Europe. They do the European [primaries], and the election is still three
years away." --David Letterman
Biz-Tech-News
"President Bush held a big Cinco de Mayo dinner celebration last night at the
White House. He praised the people of Mexico who come here to do the jobs the
Americans don't want to do, as opposed to the people of India, who are doing the
jobs Americans did want to do, but can't, of course, anymore." --Jay Leno Bush-Prison-Torture-News
"And
Indiana and North Carolina held their primaries today. But the Democrats are now
saying that Hillary and Barack could be battling for the nomination well into
June. Now, aren't they acting more and more like Republicans? Neither one of
them has an exit strategy, you know?" --Jay Leno
Go-F**k-Yourself=News
Please keep All Hat No Cattle Online
Offline Donation Lisa Casey PO Box 88 Ashford. AL 36312
Odd News
The Beijing
Olympic torch is held aloft at the top of Mount Everest, May 8, 2008 in this
image taken from television footage.
Peace broke out on the top of the world. Cool.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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