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Monday edition - May 4, 2009
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Rice: Bush wouldn't approve illegal interrogations
CNN - 5-4-09
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Former Secretary of
State Condoleezza Rice defended the Bush administration's policies on the
interrogation of terrorism suspects Sunday |
Obama Wants $190 Billion Tax Increase on Companies
Bloomberg - 4May 4
(Bloomberg) -- President Barack Obama proposed to raise about $190 billion
over the next decade by outlawing three offshore tax-avoidance techniques
used by US companies such as Caterpillar Inc. and Procter & Gamble Co |
It’s
happening more and more. The New Hampshire Senate now has passed a bill that
would legalize same-sex marriage in New Hampshire. So, New Hampshire could go
from the Granite State to the Tasteful Marble Countertop State.- Jay Leno
The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
Guilty Plea To Intent
In the days following the
Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, alleged al-Qaida operations mastermind Khalid Sheikh
Mohammed
intended to use his free Hotmail account to direct a U.S.-based operative to
carry out an attack, according to a guilty plea agreement filed by Ali Saleh
Kahlah al-Marri in federal court.
I’m glad
you’re all in a good mood, but I’m a little bummed out today because I made a
bad investment. So stupid! I opened a Chrysler dealership in Mexico City.
- Jay Leno
Disturbing News
"Actually,
you don't want to panic, because the CDC says it's all about prevention. For
example, they're now telling people if you do put lipstick on a pig, do not use
that same lipstick on yourself." --Jay Leno
Condi Tells 4th
Graders Torture Is OK
Republican-Shenanigans News
Lest
we forget …
the moronic behavior of the past President who so seriously harmed our nation,
All Hat No Cattle now offers a different notable quotation from George W. Bush
each week.
“These terrorist acts and, you know, the responses have got to end in order
for us to get the framework – the groundwork, not framework – the groundwork to
discuss a framework for peace, to lay the – all right.” – Aug. 13, 2001
"Arlen
Specter has been a Republican for a long time, so it has got to be tough, don't
you think? I mean, for years you're lying out of the right side of your mouth,
and now suddenly you've got to start lying out the left side of your mouth." --Jay
Leno
Karl’s Roving
Standards
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rove’s memory’s certainly short.
Back when dealing with names for the Court,
He said Dems must not nix
Any Bush judgeship picks
Based on views that they failed to support.
But now that the tables are turned,
He says Dem nominees must be spurned
If Republicans think
That their politics stink.
Consistency? Karl? Unconcerned!
Rock-The-Voter News
100 Days, 100 Successes - Obama’s First 100 Days in Office
"According
to one of the news services, U.S. pork producers are now lobbying the United
States government to change the name of this swine flu because they say it's bad
for business. And, you know, actually, they're right. You cannot catch swine flu
from eating pork. Oh, sure, you can get heart disease, obesity and high blood
pressure, but not the swine flu." --Jay Leno
Ads by Google
Biz-Tech News
"And the
big political story, of course, is that 79-year-old Senator Arlen Specter has
switched parties. We're learning more and more about exactly how this deal went
down. In fact, I understand to sweeten the deal, as a signing bonus, the
Democrats offered him a Life Alert and a year's supply of Ensure." --Jay
Leno
Bush-Prison-Torture News
The
Catholic Church is encouraging the use of Twitter to send prayers. This new
technology is changing liturgy. “Our Father who art in heaven” is now replaced
with “OMG.”- Laugh Lines
Go-F**k-Yourself News
In case you missed it …
In its tireless effort to
provide news and giggles for its readers, All Hat No Cattle offers this Monday
glimpse back at the previous week with an emphasis on the weekend dump. (We mean
the time preferred by government officials, politicians and titans of industry
to release unsavory news in the hope it receives less media coverage – not the
bathroom activity.)
Sun., 5-3-09
Catholic bishops mad, and they’re
not going to take it anymore!
(AP) – This coming week, Bishop Thomas Wenski of the Roman Catholic Diocese of
Orlando, Fla., will take the unusual step of celebrating a Mass of Reparation,
to make amends for sins against God. The motivation: to provide an outlet for
Catholics upset with what Wenski calls the University of Notre Dame's "clueless"
decision to invite President Barack Obama to speak at its commencement and
receive an honorary doctorate May 17.
The
nation's flagship Catholic university's honoring of a politician whose abortion
rights record clashes with a fundamental church teaching has triggered a
reaction among the nation's Catholic bishops that is remarkable in scope and
tone, church observers say.
At
least 55 bishops have publicly denounced or questioned Notre Dame in recent
weeks, employing an arsenal of terms ranging from "travesty" and "debacle" to
"extreme embarrassment."
Sat., 5-2-09
We always suspected this tycoon
must be a socialist
OMAHA, Neb. – Billionaire Warren Buffett said Saturday that the U.S. government
is taking the correct actions to help the economy recover.
Buffett spoke briefly before the opening of the annual meeting for his Berkshire
Hathaway Inc., expected to draw an audience of roughly 35,000 people.
"The government is doing the right things," Buffett said. "They're acting in a
countercyclical manner."
Fri., 5-1-09
No solutions for economy or wars,
so Republican tackles football issue
WASHINGTON (AP) – Tackling an issue sure to rouse sports fans, lawmakers pressed
college football officials Friday to switch the Bowl Championship Series to a
playoff, with one Texas Republican likening the current system to communism and
joking it should be labeled "BS," not "BCS."
John Swofford, the coordinator of the BCS, rejected the idea of switching to a
playoff, telling a House panel that it would threaten the existence of
celebrated bowl games.
Rep. Joe Barton of Texas, who has introduced legislation that would prevent the
NCAA from calling a game a national championship unless it's the outcome of a
playoff, bluntly warned Swofford: "If we don't see some action in the next two
months, on a voluntary switch to a playoff system, then you will see this bill
move."
Thurs., 4-30-09
And then I want to cure cancer,
save the whales and right a great novel
NEW
YORK (AP) – The reigning Miss California has gone to Washington to help launch a
campaign opposing same-sex marriage.
Carrie Prejean told NBC's "Today" show Thursday that she'll be working with the
National Organization for Marriage to "protect traditional marriages."
The
21-year-old says that marriage is "something that is very dear to my heart" and
she's in Washington to help save it.
She
says many people have thanked her for standing up for traditional marriage.
Wed., 4-29-09
How about changing his name to
jerk?
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) – No, the judge said to a 23-year-old Nebraska prison inmate.
You can't call yourself "Sinner Lawrence Bilskirnir." Court documents said
Jonathan L. Thomas cited his Norse religion in seeking the name change, saying
he "is a heathen and Thor is his 'High God.'"
But
Lancaster County District Judge Steve Burns says government agencies need to
closely track Thomas because of his criminal record and because there are three
child-support cases against him.
Burns says Thomas' reasons do not satisfy the legal requirements.
In
his ruling, Burns said that "simply because a person is a Christian, a Jew or a
Muslim, they do not change their name to Moses."
Tues., 4-28-09
Specter chooses democracy over
waterboarding
(TIME) – Pennsylvania Republican Senator Arlen Specter
turned the 111th session of Congress upside down Tuesday, announcing that he
will switch parties and become a Democrat. The move was the product of weeks of
intensive negotiation between Specter and Democrats in the Senate and the White
House, and it favorably alters the balance of power for
President Obama as he is facing tough votes in the months ahead on health
care, energy and budget bills. "We are thrilled to have you," Obama reportedly
told Specter on the phone just a few minutes after he learned of the switch
Tuesday morning.
Mon., 4-27-09
It was those darn liberals who
let us torture those A-rabs!
WASHINGTON (AP) – Top House Republicans are calling for the CIA to release to
Congress its records on the classified briefings it conducted for lawmakers on
its harsh interrogation program in an effort to establish what Democrats knew
about those techniques.
A
spokesman for the Republicans said Monday that they would decide whether to ask
that the records be declassified after they have been handed over.
Members of Congress have divergent memories on what they were told and when, and
whether they objected, questioned or agreed to the methods.
"Even if
you're on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there." Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
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Odd News
To Help You Deflate Photo
My son was in Beijing last weekend and took the above picture in one of the many
museums he visited. Unfortunately he failed to note the artist's name. Below is
a photo of one of the museums they visited.
Photo/DL Casey
Peace.
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